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Tuesday, May 29, 2007 at 5:11 pm
One can only wonder what the average security guard in your local movie theater would do with a pack of popcorn-throwing, cursing, muttering, cell-phone wielding rowdies. Or how he or she would deal with a two-year old screaming her head off while mom and dad watch Davy Jones emerging from his locker with tentacles dripping. Presumably, such unarmed, underpaid, and sometimes underweight security detail would be able to brandish empty tubs of popcorn and say, “Hey! Don’t do that!” while the offending parties laugh and offer suggestions about their mothers. Still, Regal is to be commended for trying to enlist cordial, civilized citizens in the effort to control and contain the growing ranks of drooling, yelling others. I’d like to suggest something even more radical: the issuing of such devices to anybody who wants them. It could be funded by either a Federal Program or by Warren Buffett, who possibly has more money than the United States at this point. The idea is pretty simple: we each have a device. When we see or hear something rude and disruptive to the rest of us being committed by somebody who doesn’t care about other people one bit, we set off the alarm, the Rudeness Police arrives and detains that person until they issue an apology. As is generally the case in our culture, anybody who apologizes publicly for anything is immediately punished by that public in a manner 100 times worse than if they hadn’t admitted any wrongdoing whatsoever. When the Rudies are sufficiently chastized, they are then free to go. Certain rules would apply. Anybody who has been cited for Rudeness within the past 12 months may not have a device. Those who are so cited lose their gizmo for the same period of time. Those detained for multiple infractions over time are subject to banishment to someplace where Rudeness does not matter–France, maybe. Potential hardware upgrades are possible for those who attain senior Rudeness Police status, including devices that spray a noxious fluid and those that deliver a 10,000 volt charge, particularly to people who talk on cell phones in restaurants. Here are some examples of people who would immediately be detained in my book:
This is just my list, of course. You may have your own. You may in fact be one of the people listed above, or sympathize with them in some way. That’s fine. Go about your business. We’ll be watching. Well! I was just about to write a letter to the editor about the worst movie-going experience I have ever had…yes it was over the holiday weekend and, yes, Davy Jones was involved. Drunk teens texting each other during the movie. One kid left his seat crawling over me and my spouse 10 times during the movie. The teens who sold the tickets and the snacks were long gone. It was in a phrase a “free for all”. I am in my mid 40’s now and longed for the days of general politeness and the certainty, in those days, that an adult at the theater would actually oust rowdy kids. Instead it was every man, woman and child for himself. The experience was enough to make me pledge to keep the movie admission in my pocket and shun the local theater in favor of the “art house” located in the next town. Posted By Ouida Vincent, Cortez Colorado : May 29, 2007 9:13 pm
re: Rudeness Patrols in Movie Theaters It works both ways. How about Regal Theaters (and other theater chains)start having some respect for their paying patrons and eliminate the commercial advertisements before the movie. Posted By Philip M. Ryan, Smithtown, NY 11787 : May 29, 2007 9:55 pm
Though somewhat tongue firmly planted in cheek, Bing has raised an issue that has been simmering for far-too long: rudeness across the board, no real customer service, aggressive behavior among children as parents watch, and worse yet the constant filming and sharing of blatant abuse of elders and young kids. The time for folks to put their feet down and raise the bar on honoring good behavior and frankly really punishing bad behavior is long overdue. This is not a cultural, demographic nor an economic issue – its a societal change for the worse. When a nine year old tells you to ’shut the f up’ then we should know that this is no longer cute, acceptable, nor excusable by any society. My suggestion: interrupt the bad behavior at the source, immediately, without hesitation, report it up the ladder – but also reward good, solid behavior so that those individuals are recognized by peers, customers or even parents. Posted By Richard Seline, Washington D.C. : May 29, 2007 10:17 pm
Billy O is a prime example of rudness in general. He really doesn’t know when to SHADUPP, and should be reincarnated as a mute as an example to the rudies’ fate. Posted By Wade Gardner, Roseville,CA : May 29, 2007 10:40 pm
hey, how about those obnoxious people who demand the utmost in service at either restaurants or spas and then leave a lousy tip? Posted By tip lover, new york, new york : May 29, 2007 10:48 pm
Why don’t the theaters spend more time on the following instead of this stupid idea (but we all know why): Posted By george, houston, texas : May 29, 2007 11:39 pm
HA! I love it! I can’t believe that no one’s commented on this article yet. It seems to be that rudeness in the U.S. has been on the rise for a number of years, seemingly due to various forms of cluelessness, lack of class, and even some sense of entitlement to do whatever one wants to due because this is a free country. I’m all for calling out rude people, and while we’re at it, let’s call out stupid people as well, because the two often go hand in hand. Posted By Chris, Beaverton, OR : May 29, 2007 11:47 pm
O’Reilly is the lord-of-rudeness. May be he should be called Rude-O-Reilly or may be Bill O’Rude-illy Posted By Carl O’grady, Kansas city : May 30, 2007 12:01 am
People who allow their dogs to crap all over the sidewalk, grass and other public venues and don’t find it necessary to clean up after themselves. Posted By Joseph, Orinda and California : May 30, 2007 1:11 am
Regarding “gestures at fellow citizens of the road” — so giving somebody two fingers is perfectly acceptable behaviour? That’s the designated road-salute gesture in England, you know. Posted By Alex, London, England (not a State) : May 30, 2007 5:19 am
I think it’s a good idea. And for their part, most theatres have a police detail on hand to handle the real rowdy people. I rarely attend movies these days due the rude idots infecting the theatres. You are watching a movie, no need to talk on a phone. and by the way, the display for texting are a bit bright in a darkened theatre, you jackass. Some how, rude behavior became acceptable. It should stop and some civility returned. Posted By James, Nashville, TN : May 30, 2007 5:29 am
In many regal cinemas they use off duty police as guards, Im thinking they will be able to handle themselves fine. Posted By Bob, Buffalo, NY : May 30, 2007 6:19 am
I’d like to add one, courtesy of a woman chance encountered in a park-’n-ride lot today. While waiting for the bus, she sat in her car and let it IDLE for over ten minutes while she read the paper. Mind you it was a comfortable, dry 65 this morning so there was no need to leave the car running for heat or air conditioning. What a waste of gas… and oxygen. Posted By A.B., Providence : May 30, 2007 8:25 am
The seats in theaters should be wired to submit shocks to people who start talking and being rude. I say we give them 15 seconds then freakin’zap’em! Even better (If I were king), I’d issue electric collars like we do for dogs and when people’s bad behavior begins, send a current through them that’ll make’em think twice! Kudos to Regal. They’re on the right track. Posted By Peter, New York, NY : May 30, 2007 10:42 am
Mr. Bing, Posted By C, Montclair, New Jersey : May 30, 2007 12:58 pm
Here are some of my pet peeves — as you can tell, I walk my dog a lot: Posted By Fern, Fair Lawn, NJ : May 30, 2007 1:12 pm
Yapping dogs and squalling brats. Isn’t that one of the premier uses of duct tape? Posted By Jack, Atlanta, GA : May 30, 2007 7:21 pm
People who push onto the elevator before you’ve had a chance to get off and then look at you as if you’re insane for delaying the elevator doors from closing – and – people who walk in front of me while the batter is in the batter’s box. Come on! Posted By TK, Los Angeles, CA : May 30, 2007 7:43 pm
Talking on the phone at a table in a restaurant. Please excuse yourself and go outside to have your call. Posted By AndyMc, Los Angeles, CA : May 30, 2007 8:31 pm
To tip lover- What’s wrong with people demanding utmost in service in restaurants, spas, hair saloons etc. ? Unfortunately we are promoting a culture where we not only pay exhorbitant prices for services but are expected to pay excellent tips if the person performs the job he/she is supposed to perform anyway (which is why the base price is so high for the service). Tips should be service above and beyond “the call of duty”. We tip pizza guys for home delivery despite paying delivery charge. We tip hair stylists for god-knows-what. We tip waiters at least 10% even if the service is slow and lousy, and that includes water refills. Now I am not talking about a pizza guy who delivers during a snowstorm or a hair stylist who spends inordinate amount of time exploring various styling options or a waiter who has been exceptionally attentive. Thanks to this greedy culture, tips are now expected as a right instead of a privilege. Now THAT’S RUDE. Posted By Expecting tips for no reason : May 31, 2007 3:04 am
Rude people are the raison d’etre for the customer-service culture we have today and the entire industry that invests countlass hours of education for our poor compadres on the front lines in food service and retail. It helps keep them somewhat guarded sgainst the irritating jerks who need to stomp on some poor miniumum-wage earner to feel powerful, and it generally helps prevent the deadly launching of a postal counterattack. In short, you gotta earn a living, even from despicable nimrods. If they didn’t exist the world would be a better place. I’m not sure if Regal Cinemas’ idea is going to work. I hate the idea that people behave in public places as they do in their living rooms, but I don’t want to give the impression that I promote snitching in mine. Just go out into the lobby and summon an usher! Better yet, go to those high-dollar cinemas like the Arclight in L.A. and pay the extra cash to get your own reserved seat in the company of fellow (quiet) movie buffs. Posted By Jeff, Portland, OR : May 31, 2007 12:07 pm
I hate people who insist on yelling at you through email by intentionally putting their text in ALL CAPS changing the text color making it BOLD and of course ending their sentence in !!! How angry can you really be when it takes so much more time to do this? When this has happen I generally respond by saying LOL!!! It just makes them angrier. Posted By Chris, Mahwah, NJ : June 1, 2007 10:03 am
As someone with more pet peeves and less tolerance than anyone I know, I love the idea of the Rudeness Police device. Of course, you’d have to figure out a way to discourage the trigger-happy, as this could lead to some sort of fascist Emily Post police state. Especially in New York, where everyone is rude and everyone thinks everyone else is ruder. Like those jerks who shove onto the train before people have had a chance to get off. Or anyone who drives a taxi, basically. Or those who hug the pole on the subway so that nobody else can hold on. Or how about groups who walk five people wide on the sidewalk so that you have to walk in the street to get around. I got a million of ‘em. Posted By Nina, NY, NY : June 1, 2007 5:19 pm
Hi, Nina, from NY, NY! I love your comment, but I have to disagree with you about the rudest people being in New York. The rudest people are in Los Angeles. They just seem to be nicer because they’re better looking. By the way, you seem quite impatient. Have you thought of Yoga? Posted By thebingblog : June 2, 2007 3:22 pm
hi, regards:- Posted By andy indore in : June 26, 2007 7:44 am
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Stanley Bing
Stanley Bing is a Fortune columnist and best-selling author of business books noted for their wisdom as well as their sharp, slightly acrid sense of humor. He is also the only writer on business and the workplace who still puts on a suit and tie and goes to do battle with the dragons that breathe fire at corporate America every day. This blog captures what remains of his brain after it has exploded in all other directions.
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