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I have this theory. It’s pretty simple. I believe that, when it comes to our jobs, we’re all like a quart of milk or a pack of sausages. Each one of those objects, and so many more of varying compositions and ages, are stamped with a date by which they must be sold or consumed. It’s their shelf life. Everything has one. For fish, it’s a couple of days. A can of corned beef hash can live a decade in a cupboard. But eventually, everything reaches the point of expiration.

So it is with jobs. Some of us are lucky. The invisible stamp on our foreheads says 2014, maybe, or “good for 32 years if kept in a cool, dry place.” But the stamp is there. And there’s nothing any of us can do about it.

For the smartest guys I’ve known… as well as the dumbest… it hasn’t made a difference. Their boss changed, either in demeanor or, you know, they got a new one entirely. The management structure was reconfigured in some fundamental way. The whole operation moved to LA. Whatever. Their time came, and they were removed from the shelf. Sometimes they were as crisp as they day they entered the market! It didn’t matter. Their date had come.

This is what I thought when I read the following letter that appeared in my inbox a little while ago from a reader in California. “My story is kinda long but here it goes,” it began.

“I have worked at my company for ten years, and I am pretty damn good at what I do. However, last May I had to take a leave of absence. When I returned, the company had hired, like a week before my return, obviously to fill my responsibilities, a new staff member. I was told that my hours would be cut to some degree because this individual would be part time.

Well, that has not been the case. My hours have continued to decrease and this individual has gotten more training and a full time position. My boss who I once kind of considered a friend, told me that it was brought to his attention that I have been “complaining” about stuff (mainly my hours), though he admitted my performance in all aspects of my work is outstanding. The issue seems to be with my character.

I was told by another staff member I am just too friendly. Too friendly? My boss told me that either I am too gregarious or maybe too quiet. I know it is hard to understand. I had a hard time trying to understand myself. But I get the feeling I am be being pushed out, or to the side. When I made several comments about the new staff member, and my years in the office and my exemplary performance in the past, it just seems to irritate my boss. Nothing that I said to him about the new employee (not that it was all bad or bad at all) was getting through or mattered. In fact I left the meeting feeling I was at fault.

It seems of recent that no matter what I do, I just cannot please him or do what is right. I have never been late to work, I support my boss in all the aspects of the company and I am always available for extra work. I feel lost. Please help.”

I’m sorry, my friend. I don’t think I can. Your boss has gone “off” you. When you come in, he wants to be not there. When you speak, your voice grates on his nerves like fingernails on the chalkboard of his mind. Stick a fork in you. You are done.

There’s this guy who used to work for me. It started by him calling me too much. Then he started dropping by just to chat. All of a sudden, his hulking frame would be in my doorway. It would take me 10 minutes to get him out of there. I had always sort of liked the guy. But now, I wasn’t sure. I found that when there was work to do, I wanted to give it to somebody else, just so I wouldn’t have to deal with Mort. Then he started to do things that really annoyed me. Appeared at cocktail parties that he shouldn’t have. Attended meetings to which he wasn’t invited. Talked too much. Picked his ear.

In the end, I didn’t have to fire Mort. He sniffed the air and ascertained that it was time to move on to a different shelf, one that rendered him as fresh and new as the day he came out of the ground and into the store.

Oh, did I mention that? As time-dated as we all may be, we are all infinitely renewable as well. So when Mort came in and told me he was leaving for something else, something good, I shook his hand with real affection and wished him the best luck in the world. He won’t really need it. He’ll do fine.

You know, Scott Fitzgerald said there were no second acts in American lives, but in business, I think, we’ve all got enough karma to go around a whole bunch of times before we ascend to nirvana, which in my case, I think, may be Maui. Until then, I’ll see you around, huh? I’ll be the one in the cool, dry place.




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Are “we” the goods or are we perhaps the shelf? Though we certainly change as well, it seems to me that jobs that were once a perfect fit for “us” can sour due to reorganizations, turnover, and other strategic changes. I agree with the overall point that the environment inevitably changes and “we” must change as well.

Posted By Robert, Columbus, Ohio : August 22, 2007 11:14 am

We are the goods. The place we work is the shelf. And you get my point exactly. The shelving always changes. And yeah, sure, we can change for a while, maybe for a long while, but how do you change when the whole world around you turned upside down? Eventually, it’s gonna get you. Not that that’s a bad thing, always. I just usually hate it when it’s happening. Later, when things settle and I look okay again for a while, it all looks like it was supposed to mean something… Before that, you know, it can be kinda SCARY.

Posted By thebingblog : August 22, 2007 11:24 am

Well…I have been told that I have a possible experation date of 12/07 (it is written on the wall in red). One could argue the politics of the position but it would be a waste of time and wouldn’t solve anything. I would also like to add that I have worked very hard for this company under the owners un-realistic expectations. It doesn’t matter and I am not upset as I feel it’s time for me to go out on my own and start my own online business, anyways. Sitting in this chair is like slowly pulling a band-aid off. I figure I can walk out with my head up or sit here and do nothing about my future and hurt at the end of the year when I have credit card debt from Christmas. If I get a new job (sales rep) then it will be similiar politics only in a new enviroment with different people.

Yes, time to get off that circus ride in general. I have been slaving over my “project” for 2 months and I am almost there. Mind you what I am working on has nothing to do with the industry that I currently working in. So I am not one of those people slowly “stealing” the customer base.

Posted By Anonymous : August 22, 2007 12:20 pm

I believe that the best way to keep extending your expiration date is to always look for opportunities to learn. When you stop learning, you start expiring.

One good thing about professional certifications is that they mostly require continuing professional education thereby keeping the certified more current and useful. When the shelf shifts, you have to be ready to shift with it so that you don’t fall off.

Posted By Tom, Wilmington NC : August 22, 2007 1:07 pm

Nobody is indispensible. Sooner or later, we all have to “move on.” But not all changes are bad. It might happen that our shelf life is over and done with, but a new good life is awaiting us out there. “Be prepared for the industry” should be the mantra. When the time comes; let’s all, with pride and satisfaction over a job done well, grab life by the horns…

Posted By Mahesh Reddy, Bangalore : August 22, 2007 3:30 pm

I like what Tom says. You keep learning and you extend your shelf life. It’s true. There’s just a part of me that knows… when your number comes up, it’s time. Like, you’re sitting in your office and suddenly all the assumptions you’ve made have turned to mud. I may be in a bad mood, though.

Posted By thebingblog : August 22, 2007 9:15 pm

And I want to thank Mahesh Reddy for writing in from Bangalore. Mahesh! Tell us what it’s like there!

Posted By thebingblog : August 22, 2007 9:16 pm

Is that what people do with all the people in their life? Too hard move on?

Posted By Anonymous : August 22, 2007 10:43 pm

Hi Bing,

I’m sorry about this delayed response. Well, things are good and “not so good” here. Very competitive…very uncertain. One never knows what is going to crop up next. Bangalore is what Silicon Valley was….among other things, attrition is at an all time high. Young graduates are joining the workforce which is certainly bringing the effervescence of the youth to the workplace, but the stability and maturity of experience is lacking. Overall, I should say our outlook is that of being cautiously optimistic.

Posted By Mahesh Reddy, Bangalore : August 24, 2007 6:46 pm

I definately always have my ears pricked for when it’s time to move on. I never stay past that time.

I am a quiet reserved person and I find that makes people very uneasy. Bizarrely enough if I am the least bit honestly friendly with anyone I don’t know well they behave as if I’m out to get something special from them. Very odd. I am incapable of acting interested in talking with people who are talking about things that neither they nor I are the least bit interested in. That’s at least 90% of talk.

Posted By Jack, Omaha, NE : August 24, 2007 8:34 pm

I once had a boss who almost out loud decreed my shelf life was over. He ranted, he raved. He told me every person in the company hated me (Gee, I wonder how that happened?). He offered my job to one of my direct reports. He dismantled our quality system. He turned off our customers. Then, just as the numbers began to turn South, he left the company. After that I reassigned myself to an out of town posting, and left yet another direct report in charge. Two years later I retired, just before the company was acquired, and all the management team fired. And the old boss? He got fired from his next job for playing too much golf on company time. It makes me feel good just to tell you this story.

Posted By Bruce, Ashland Oregon : August 29, 2007 6:23 pm

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Stanley Bing
Stanley Bing is a Fortune columnist and best-selling author of business books noted for their wisdom as well as their sharp, slightly acrid sense of humor. He is also the only writer on business and the workplace who still puts on a suit and tie and goes to do battle with the dragons that breathe fire at corporate America every day. This blog captures what remains of his brain after it has exploded in all other directions.
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