One reason crappy managers last is that their idiot manager will not admit they made a mistake. Firing the crappy manager would be an admission of incompetence. HR is there to protect the company, not the employees. Never admit anything to HR that you wouldn’t tell your manager to their face.

I am with you 100%

Fleet/Bank of America’s HR department would call your BOSS BEFORE they responded to any questions…..but what goes around comes around…My boss got fired!

Allow me to make a seriously politically-incorrect observation: the manager was female. Many (not all, thankfully, and possibly not even most, but many) female managers got there by being perceived as [rhymes with "witches"]. They take great pride in being tough, distancing themselves from any stereotypically female trait, like compassion, in an effort to be seen as competent. Sadly, they think they have to do it that way. Then, one of them gets promoted, and she sets about cultivating a claque of like-minded women.

Before leaving my former employer because of such an atmosphere, I talked to my (male) mentor about the situation, and he said “I didn’t know anything about this. Probably the wrong gender to qualify for being told about it.”

I’ve worked at companies where you had to practically commit murder to get fired. I think it’s just laziness and fear of confrontation.

Watch out for female bosses- they are big trouble, especially for male employees. If you get one, you must leave, there is no other solution.

What goes around does come around. It may not happen when you’re there, but it will. On a positive note, be happy that you are a male answering to a strong-willed female. Have you ever seen a female manager handle their female employees. Times like this, being a man is the best thing going.

Never trust an HR dept. They are not your friends. At best they are spin for management. At worse they will take the information you gave them and use it against you. Both instances have happened to me at various times over the years. (One of the current joys of my life is being self-employed, and not in a corporation anymore. Of course, it means I have no one to blame but me.)

Bravo! As a prostate cancer survivor, I completely understand what you have been going through physically; working for a benevolent dictator, I can also relate to the professional challenges you faced. Kudo’s for choosing to not get even, but get ahead!

To me, it seems so elementary that the key to being a good manager basically boils down to the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. I’ve seen so many managers who just don’t get that and the company suffers because of it. At my last company, there has been a total of 6 departures in the past 12 months of workers in a department of maybe 30 people. That’s an attrition rate of 20% in just twelve months! And it’s because the department chair is such a jerk that everyone just gets fed up with him and leaves. But yet, there he is, still running the department and round and round goes the revolving door. I don’t know when upper management is ever going to do something about him. But luckily I’m no longer around to find out.

It’s interesting to me how much misogyny a story that involves a female boss can generate. I haven’t even published some of the stuff that came in on this, because, well, I just didn’t want to. I don’t agree with everything that people send into me, but I do love the fact that you write at all, and I tend to publish just about everything. Festering screeds, however, are another matter.

Let me tell you what I think. I think women make lousy bosses sometimes, just about as lousy as men, no worse, and no better. There’s been a lot of hooey written saying one gender or another is more suited to management. I think everybody is pretty well unsuited to it. Still, some people rise above the difficulties and make great leaders. Some of those are women. Some of those are men. Most of those are crazy in one way or another too.

“the key to being a good manager basically boils down to the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

A lot of managers take it as “Do unto others as they do to you” – and especially for female managers, that can be nasty.
For all the progress that women has made in the business world, there is still a lot of uneasiness around the gender issue.

Shame on her for her ugly reacton to your medical condition. I hope you are on the road to recovery and will have a long and healthy life. No job is more important than your health.

In my humble opinion: A mix of women in management who are true to themselves is invaluable for any organization. In a general sense(with many exceptions), women tend to bring empathic intuition into a management team that can cause the fire-ready-aim type A males to slow down and consider the consequences of their actions on their employees and customers. The ones that come off as (rhymes with witches) usually do so because they are acting aggressively contrary to their personal tendencies and beliefs because they think they have to to get ahead. This pisses them off. The ones that are aggressive by nature don’t come off as (rhymes with witches) because they are being true to their nature.

Bing says, “Most of those are crazy in one way or another too.” This can be said of just about all of the human race.

This may be a little late, but I had to write anyway.

I am also a cancer survivor, and when I was going through cancer, I had a boss similar to his. Most people went out of their way to be helpful, but she would keep me overtime, so she didn’t have to come in on a Friday to sign something.

The upshot is, that those who act the worst are generally terrified of you. Your represent their own mortality by being sick, and they attack with vengance. And it almost always blows up in their faces, as they have bosses and word of their abuse gets back to them…Eventually. She has now moved on and I have been promoted. Time truly does wound all heels.

I had a very poor agronomy manager and hated every minute at work. Well to make it a go, I went with the competition and took some of the accounts with me. It wasn’t much later the GM put him in a cubicle and he wasn’t allowed to talk to any customers.

Here’s to your reader, and hoping he is continuing to do well and wishing him the very best in his recovery. I’m pleased he found a place where empathy and humanity is not dead. Unfortunately, those places are increasingly rare.

I agree women bosses are no better or worse than men bosses, however, must admit that the most psychopathic boss I have encountered was a woman, but I don’t think it has anything to do with gender. And yes, I agree all bosses, including me, (and everyone, for that matter) are in one way or another crazy. I do think, however, it’s important to recognize the “brand” of crazy you’re dealing with. This boss is very likely a full-fledged bully … or if you prefer, my favorite label is “a psychopath in a suit.” (I enjoy the mental image of Hannibal Lecter and Dexter in suits in the Boardroom). A September 2007 study in the US on bullying in the workplace found 60% of our bullies are men, and 40% are women, and women are more likely to be the target of the bully (57/43%). Here’s the really interesting point I wanted to pass along … the same study shows that when the bully is a woman, 71% of her targets are other women. So if “she” is bullying “he,” remember that “she” is likely bullying a heck of a lot more other “she’s,” as well.

Before you dismiss me as a major nut case, (I’m just a minor one) I concede that certainly a boss can be a jerk without being a bully. I have been a woman boss for more than fifteen years, and admit to forays into what could be called “being a jerk,” but never into the realm of being a bully. We are all jerks from time to time (if you think you’re not, you may be a bully). Workplace bullies are defined as incompetent jerks who target anyone who is more competent than they are (and most people are) and therefore are seen as a threat, and/or their target sees them for what they are and refuses to enable and comply with their evil deeds and threaten to expose them (e.g. go to HR). Their attacks usually escalate over time, are unrelenting, sometimes over long periods of time (usually until the target moves on), and are vindictive and include such treats as public humiliation, excessive workloads, manufactured cases for dismissal with cause, shifting priorities, to threats and acts of physical abuse and violence. They characteristically lack any hint of empathy for anyone or anything. Hence, the insensitivity to this gentleman’s health issues is a huge red flag he was dealing with a bonafide bully. What person, not a psychopath, could have treated another person in that manner? Most targets, like your reader, move on, and that is the cost to the Company. The incompetent bullies and their henchmen move up, and the competent folks move on, and eventually the Company suffers. At least I hope so.

I know, I know, that word, bully, makes most Americans uncomfortable, especially men. In our culture, targets are widely regarded as sniveling, complaining wimps. There is no protection under the law, and in most cases when the target complains, the company they work for makes matters worse. (HR strikes again). In fact, research shows that it is not generally accepted in the US that workplace bullies exist, which is just the way bullies want it … “The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he did not exist.” Think about it.

Workplace bullying is illegal in several other countries (e.g. UK), and there is a move on that is gaining momentum in the US. I believe it’s fourteen states that currently have legislation pending to provide protection. I admire, support and commend the effort, as its clear Corporate America will not address the issue until there is a penalty for not doing so. History proves that. However, I’m not holding my breath, as I’m certain Corporate America will bring out the big guns.

Bottom line, whatever you call it … bullies … psychopaths in suits … or whatever … they do exist, seemingly to make the lives of the less crazy completely miserable. Again, I think it’s important to know the “brand” of crazy you’re dealing with. Jerks you can put up with, bullies are another story. If she or he is a psychopath in a suit, my best advice is, like your reader, to run for your life.

I think Inspector Harry Calahan said it best. “Personnel is for @$$holes”

Interesting read, and even more interesting comments.

I have been one of the multitude of victims in the workplace of a managing bully, and as was observed below, being a bully appears to be gender independent – it does not matter if your a male or female – being a bully is an attitude. I say attitude because of a recent experience.

A female bully was recently asked to leave our company, after 9 years of making life unbearable for many in our ranks. It was rumored that when she got off her meds, people under her had to get on theirs.

After moving to the competition, she made several miss-steps, scaring away the business, and drawing the ire of the HR department. However, being a woman, and therefore a protected class, she is still on their payroll, but for how long?

In an economic downturn, employers are going to be less accomodating of such behavior, and therefore, more weight is placed on the old saying – what comes around goes around.