Today is National Boss’s Day. I know this because I read it in the paper. I don’t know who decreed it to be National Boss’s Day, but as both a Boss and an Employee I salute the day and intend to observe it with proper respect.

Wikipedia says that “National Boss’s Day is usually celebrated by presenting one’s boss with a small gift or greeting card,” and goes on to note that: 

It is also customary to treat one’s boss with extreme kindness, very similar to a birthday. However, the highly commercial nature of this holiday has caused it to take much criticism and many refuse to observe it for that reason.  Others refuse to observe it because they believe their boss is undeserving of celebration.

To that we say, phooey. Fie! And no such thing. Today is a day that celebrates, venerates and notes with interest a relationship that often transcends in importance and financial implication the one we enjoy with spouses, parents or offspring.

Do we neglect our children because they, at times, can be ungrateful wretches? Do we fail to observe Mother’s Day or Father’s Day because the subjects of those events are occasional sources of grief or aggravation? Should we not then extol, laud, praise, embrace and celebrate he or she who represents the font from which all professional joy and misery springs?

Here’s to you, Boss, on this, National Boss’s Day! To you, we give thanks! Thanks!

• Thanks for hiring us in the first place. If you hadn’t, we wouldn’t be here.
• Thanks for all the raises you’ve given to us over the years. And if you haven’t so far, thanks for all the raises yet to come.
• Thanks for being the one who’s up at 3 AM worrying about the future of the business, so we don’t have to, quite so much.
• Thanks for all the cups of coffee you’ve shared with us in the morning, just two regular folks chinnin’ and grinnin’.
• Thanks for putting your feet up on your desk at the end of the day and inviting us in to trade the stories of the day.
• Thanks for protecting our budget when the beancounters come to call.
• Thanks for the promotions you’ve put through for us, and if you haven’t put any through yet, well, thanks for the ones you’re thinking about.
• Thanks for taking the flak from the 47th Floor when it comes in, protecting us from all the angry guys up there.
• Thanks for not caring when we bug out at 3:30 on Friday afternoons in August, or not paying close attention what we’re doing in that big, empty, white week between Christmas and New Year’s.
• Thanks for the expense account.
• Thanks for signing our expense account.
• Thanks for not firing us when we screwed up our expense account a couple of years ago.
• Thanks for remembering the names of our kids, considering there are 376 of them in this department alone.
• Thank you for not smoking, even though you’d really like to light one up every afternoon around 5:00.
• Thanks for not making us work when we’re sick unless it’s absolutely necessary.
• Thanks for giving up your hair and your waistline in pursuit of excellence.
• Thanks for not allowing any McKinsey consultants around here.
• Thanks for the boondoggles.
• Thanks for being human… at least some of the time.
• Thanks for allowing us to love you when you’re good, hate you when you’re bad, and having the good sense not to care too much about either.

So here’s a flower for you, Boss. Yeah, it’s a little wilted because I snatched it from the urn out back. But it’s from the heart.

What are you guys going to do for your boss? You certainly bitch about him or her a lot of the time! Let’s hear some of the good stuff, huh, at least for one day!