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13414.jpgHidey ho, neighbors. It’s Monday morning and I’m back in New York with several thoughts in my head. One: Domestic Coach class really stinks. I mean, low-cost seating is one thing, but I don’t expect a piece of cheese to be wedged in my headrest.And yes, there WAS cheese. Old cheese. Seat hadn’t been vacuumed for weeks. My ancestors came over on a boat from Europe about a hundred years ago. The part of the boat they were on must have pretty much felt like I did before I got my very late, unexpected upgrade to the last seat in Business yesterday. Come on, dudes. Guys who fly on their own dime are people too. Attention must be paid! Thanks.

Two: Be it ever so mired in tension, politics and tedium, there’s no place like your office. As you know, I’ve been away for a bit. I got back to find a desktop (the real one) full of mail and my computer crashed from some incident that happened over the last few days. I rebooted and threw away a bunch of analog paper. It’s amazing how — now that everything of value is done electronically — there is not one single piece of snail mail that’s anything but useless. What a pile of mung! Note to Chase Bank: Stop sending me solicitations! I have enough credit cards! Haven’t you guys gotten tired of supplying credit to people? Save a tree!

Anyhow, here we are. In a few minutes, I’ll have some coffee. If I’m very lucky, nothing at all will happen in the next several hours before lunch. All of this while a beehive of activity goes on around me. Know why I can crank my yanker this way? Because I’m the boss.

This brings me to my request of you today. That’s right. Because my brain is almost utterly empty at this moment, I thought I would shift the work to you and ask you to do something. Know why I am allowed to gather wool in this particular fashion? Right again. Because… I’m the boss.

In case you haven’t noticed, bosses get away with a huge raft of behavior that normal people can’t. The bigger the boss, the greater latitude the individual has for work stoppage, labor shifting, on-the-job snoozage, feeding on company time, vague perambulation, digital invisibility, inexplicable vacuity, manipulation of time as a solid/liquid object that retains the properties of both a particle and a wave, that kind of thing.

I’m doing some research on the subject and would like anybody within the sound of my voice to consider the matter and then send along something bosses actually do to 1) have more fun, 2) do less “work” and 3) enjoy the “work” they do more, than the average person. I want real stories about real people. Bosses, send in your tactics and strategems. Employees, report on the ones you’ve personally experienced or even heard about. How does being a boss replicate the experience of actually being a retired person? Lots of golf? Mentoring the young? Sleeping during the day? Think about it. And lemme know.

Oh, and one last thing, vis-a-vis a certain recent controversy in this space: I write this blog. Nobody else does. There are no interns. There are no mini-Bings. What there are, of course, are people who are doing all the things I should be doing while I write this blog. Thanks to them. And to you guys, of course.

And hey, don’t get me wrong. If you want to toss a Bing Blog over the transom for my use, please feel free to do so, as long as it doesn’t get in the way of today’s real assignment. I’ll use it if I feel like it and ignore it if I don’t. I’ll take the credit if I like it and forget to say thank you. After a while, I’ll convince myself I actually thought it up in the first place. Know why I can do all these things?

Correctamundo!




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I once worked for a major national IT service provider. We had a warehouse where we stored computer parts, so as to be able to immediately attend to hardware issues. My boss had employees set up a net in the warehouse so he could practice his golf swing. Now, I loved this guy – he was probably the best boss I’ve ever had – but he certainly took advantage of his “free” time.

Same company; We had an account manager who oversaw the company’s contract with the State government. About 80% of the time when we went in his office, he would be asleep. When he wasn’t sleeping, he was running his personal side-business.

Nice gigs.

Posted By Brandon, Ann Arbor, MI : November 12, 2007 11:32 am

The question is, have you payed the cost to be the boss?

Yes I think Bosses actually accomplish a lesser amount of “real work” or measurable work output per person than their subordinates typically do. They also get to focus on the aspects of the job they like, and pass off the aspects they don’t like. They probably get to spend more of their day either openly screwing around, and much of it “thinking” and “deciding” or “discussing” with the higher ups rather than producing or delivering. Golf games? Maybe not unless you’re an executive level and only your secretary truly knows where you are at any given time. But a certain amount of slacking is tolerated by employees because a) there’s some implied sense that this person put in their time and earned it, and b) the employee wants/expects to be at that point some day and of course wants it to be cushy and fun. That’s why CEOs get away with such ridiculously high salaries; the American worker has fooled his or herself into thinking they can or will achieve that some day, so they don’t mind it being completely unfair. So in fact, if the boss DOES appear to enjoy their job, and slacks off a little, the employee is inspired even further to work harder in order to attain that position. Just my little theory on that.

Posted By Miles, San Diego CA : November 12, 2007 12:31 pm

I think bosses get away with more because the burdens on them are greater. In other words, I’m going to work flexible hours when I feel like it, because I know I’m on call to deal with emergencies at all hours of the day and night, including weekends. I know I’m going to make the time when it’s a crisis, no matter what it interrupts. Therefore, if I want to come in late or work from home, I’m entitled to do it. I also shoulder the burden of making sure the company runs well, and that’s a damn big burden.

Posted By Washington, DC : November 12, 2007 6:40 pm

Bosses are supposed to set a good example for their subordinates. Screwing off is not a good example. It creates a lot of hard feelings among those around you. As far as dealing with crises, if a boss worked hard day in and day out and took a proactive approach, there would be less crises.

Posted By DS York, PA : November 12, 2007 8:11 pm

As a sort of big boss, I just turn over all the work to my adoring minions and peons.I generally just chat with other sort of big bosses. Heck we will be downsized, restructured, outsourced or made redundant in a couple years anyway. Then we will become the most admirable of people “the new sort of big boss.”

Posted By Steve Bangalore India : November 12, 2007 11:09 pm

Bing, sounds like you are doing too much for a boss!!! I just recently was let go from a company because I told the boss he was doing nothing and running us into the ground!! Do you need an assistant up there in the Big Apple?? Where can I send my resume? I can tell the boss with the best of them, that he is a lazy, no good bum! Good people are losing their jobs because you refuse to put in the effort to go out and find some customers!!

Posted By Angry Hard Worker, Phila, Pa. : November 13, 2007 9:28 am

I’m a first line manager for a Tech Co.
A – I read your BLOG to kill time and have fun. And now I post comments.
b – My old boss would hold meetings that he would invite his HQ grlfrnd to and they would stay at the Marriott next to the office. Then he would go to meetings at HQ and they would shack up in his hotel room. BTW – they’re both married.
c – My bosses boss would go to FL, GA & TX in the winter to get away from the NE weather, real business reason or not. He always made sure he had a wingman for going out at night. Johnny’s Hideaway in the ATL is a favorite hotspot. Also married but recently seperated, wonder why.

Posted By Technogeek in Philly : November 15, 2007 3:01 pm

Hi, based on your article “What the boss gets away with”…think about if, the BOSS makes the money and most likely can afford to hire someone to do work on their behalf or the boss can sit up burning the midnight oil and do it all themselves.

Basically, if I hustled that hard and can afford it, for certain I will pay someone to complete my tasks while I maintain and plan my leisure activities…

Posted By Monique Germany, Great Neck, NY : November 23, 2007 4:07 pm

A former boss of mine set the bar high for boss-type slacking. My favorite example, hands down, was a standing meeting she had every Wednesday afternoon. She wouldn’t EVER delay or postpone it for a work thing, even crises or meetings with even bigger bosses. This important meeting (her name for it) was with her manicurist, and once a month with her hair stylist as well. Nice. For a full year on company time she wrote a book. Countless days were spent with her door shut because she was preparing talks to give at other places, places who had invited her because of how wonderful they thought she must be – and maybe she was once. there are so many examples, but the Wed. meeting is the best, I think. (And of course she’s leave an hour early, at least, to make the 4:00 appointment.) So she was generally AWOL (mentally, physically or both), and yet she still required that she personally read, edit, and sign off on all our written material. And this in a business where deadlines were often HOURS, not weeks. Sigh. She didn’t seem to get how that didn’t work very well….

As someone else pointed out, many of today’s slacker bosses paid their dues, were completely responsive and responsible for years and years, and finally have managed to assemble themselves a team good enough so they can take the credit without having to do much (or any) of the work. I only like to think this boss was one of those — a resting-on-laurels boss and not a couldn’t-handle-the-work boss.

Posted By Jo, Durham, NC : November 28, 2007 3:58 pm

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Stanley Bing
Stanley Bing is a Fortune columnist and best-selling author of business books noted for their wisdom as well as their sharp, slightly acrid sense of humor. He is also the only writer on business and the workplace who still puts on a suit and tie and goes to do battle with the dragons that breathe fire at corporate America every day. This blog captures what remains of his brain after it has exploded in all other directions.
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