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Monday, December 17, 2007 at 11:01 am
Paris Hilton is in there, for her efforts to trademark her slogan — “That’s hot,” as is Southwest Airlines (LUV), for refusing to allow a Hooters waitress in a perfectly appropriate denim mini-skirt and sweater to board a plane in San Diego, thereby becoming the first airline to punish a passenger for what a gate agent had on his mind. There is more, and then some. My personal favorite of the year is Keith Richards, who seems to have snorted the cremains of his dad. He’s just one of the millionaires that are discovered in the act of terminal dumbness, many of whom got big severance checks for theirs. Check it out. Reading the act, it occurred to me that, you know, there but for the grace of God goeth yours truly. This generated the second revelatory item that might be of interest to you. It’s my own 10 Dumbest Moments of 2007, which I believe is posted close-by. Most of mine are the everyday idiocies one gets into during a year on the job. Others are slightly more personal. I didn’t include the really small stuff. Like, last month I went to an ATM and got $300 because I was going on a trip and needed cab fare, airport reading material, and so forth. It’s amazing how fast $300 can go nowadays. This particular $300 went especially fast, in fact, because $200 of it was in $50 bills, a fact I didn’t notice until I had paid a cab driver what I thought were two $20s and then observed that I had exactly $60 less than I thought. Boy, did I feel like a moron. But I didn’t write about that this time, because mere clerical errors aren’t as interesting as errors of judgment or plain, blind dumbness that results in humiliation or other punishment of some kind. Anyhow, I put them on display today for all of you to see if you care to. And, as it often happens around here a lot of the time, my next thought is to wonder what you, dear browser, might have up your collective sleeve. Do anything unalterably dumb this year? Get caught and spanked after having done so? Or… not? Want to share it with the rest of us? Come on. You’ll feel better after you do. I know WE will.  Ok….I was eating these pickles from a jar, and they had a “2 Rating” for how hot they were. Well I thought the “2″ meant there were “2″ hot pickles in the jar. So I ate two pickles and said “Wow…oly 2 hot pickles in the entire jar and I got them both”……oopppsssyyy ! Posted By Glenn…Pa : January 11, 2008 2:06 pm
I spent five minutes one morning juggling my 30-lb toddler while trying to pound a frozen-shut car door loose, and mentally cursing my husband for not being considerate enough to unstick the doors for me. Then I realized that the door was not frozen shut; it was locked. I was late to an 8 a.m. meeting because of it, and had to explain my tardiness in front of half a dozen people, who all had a laugh at my expense. Posted By Christine, Des Moines, IA : December 20, 2007 2:26 pm
I called my VP’s wife a fool for saying that bonuses were good for all this year. The VP agreed that she was a fool and is now going through divorce proceedings. He now is planning on eliminating bonuses next year and giving everyone a small raise. I still do not understand why I was written up! ——- Posted By Yadgyu, Harkeyville, TX : December 18, 2007 6:00 pm
Ahh, a reminder of ONE of my more “dumb” moments…a company dinner I attended where one of the guys I worked with said “toss me a roll”…..so I did….and it hit one of our area managers in the side of the head! I made it to 17 years with the company and he was gone after 5….guess he should have caught it. Posted By Kay, Portland, Oregon : December 18, 2007 4:29 pm
A friend and I were going to head down to get lunch when I told her I was going to make a quick bathroom stop. While I’m in there, she runs into the stall next to me, gets herself situated and then completely dystroys the place. I finish zipping up while the echos die away, and then say, nice and loudly, “niiice.” I am greeted by complete silence and then realize that it isn’t my friend. It is our boss. Posted By Annie, New York, NY : December 18, 2007 3:36 pm
Loved 101 Dumbest Moments….. haven’t had that much fun at my desk in years…. Bing 10 wre pretty funny as well…. Posted By Technogeek in Philly : December 18, 2007 2:20 pm
Your money cab ride sparked a big nerve.Several years ago I was traveling to Las Vegas for some R&R. on arrival I was very excited and not paying much attention, when I pulled up to the hotel I paid the 9 dollar fare and gave him a whole dollar tip. I was rather surprised to see how happy the cabbie was with that tip. When I got to my room to put the nest egg for the week in the safe I found out I gave the cabbie 10 one hundred dollar bill’s boy did I feel dumb ,broke and very stupid ,you see I am from Canada and we have nice colors on our money. I still think about this every time I take a cab ride. Posted By wrf Toronto ON : December 18, 2007 1:36 pm
Have things gotten more hostile? Yes, you can see that in the media as we all become desensitized to things that would have shocked us 10 or 20 years ago. However, the web can trully bring out the worst in people - they are able to attack each other anonymously. I might state my name at the end of this rant, but who is to say that’s who I really am? Anonymity gives the false perception to some people that they can be cruel and vicious just for the sake of being cruel. Technology - what a wonderful thing - the enabler of anonymous, and often unfounded, personal attacks. Posted By Sean, Michigan : December 18, 2007 1:16 pm
Met two virgin dudes, had sexual fun with the virgins, fell in love (sort of) with both, had ego destroyed and desireablilty qestioned when they say they’ve decided to be gay–with each other no less! Spiral into a manical rage with my feminine pride demanding revenge for my bruised emotions and loss of great sex partners. Posted By ShockingTurnOfEvents, Ft. Smith, Arkansas : December 18, 2007 12:03 pm
I had no trouble accessing all 101, but I will give Mike this: dumbasses are definitely involved, if you look at list items #9 (Ratatouille is a fantastic movie about cooking and food… so I don’t see how Le Monde’s comment was anything but accurate, and the $206 mil that the movie grossed in the US alone would seem to support their view), #21 (the campaign was successful in at least a half dozen other major US cities — it’s the moron Boston police that can’t tell a Lite Brite from a bomb, and then try to cover up their own stupidity by arresting college students and calling them terrorists), and #59 (which entirely misses the point: Radiohead was trying to demonstrate the possibilities of circumventing the f@#$%ed up record industry; also, since Radiohead is one of the biggest acts of the late 90s and aughts, I seriously doubt they would be “in debt” even if they just gave the album away for free. See also Nine Inch Nails). Posted By Rebecca, Philadelphia, PA : December 18, 2007 11:28 am
Funny thing is… I believe she was able to board the plane and continue on her flight… !! So, what actually was the problem… girl wearing no knickers and a short skirt (as evidenced my the media replays for days after) is asked nicely to cover up - which she does - Should have been the end of the story… sure would be nice if media, bloggers, etc… would get back to reporting and making big deals out of “real” stories, instead of sensationalizing very little out of a bunch of stories Posted By Kurt, Phoenix, AZ : December 18, 2007 11:08 am
Mike, not sure what link you are following, but I found 101 Dumbest Moments yesterday, and they are still on-line today. Might try again. Posted By JAy., Houston, TX : December 18, 2007 10:36 am
Hostility simmers quietly in the cubicles where many of your loyal readers reside and stealthily exercise their passive-agressive behavior by stealing time from their employers reading blogs and venting anonymously and safely in their comments. Posted By Anonymous in Wilmington : December 18, 2007 9:26 am
 The 101 are in this issue of FORTUNE Magazine, Mike. But I hope you enjoyed the online version. It doesn’t sound like you did, though. You know, it’s always amazing to me how much free-floating hostility there is on the web. The question it raises in my mind is whether hostile people just gravitate to the online space, or whether the world has grown toxic in the last few years and the web just reflects that. What do you guys think? How about you, Mike? Posted By thebingblog : December 18, 2007 9:18 am
There are only 50 dumbest moments. Sounds like some dumbass at CNN forgot about the other 51. Posted By Mike, Locust Valley, NY : December 18, 2007 8:42 am
The Blog, I’ll put like this I’m very familair with the San Diego station and SWA. SWA tried to make a joke out of it and that probably wasn’t the smartest decision. Lets put anybody in this situation if your asked “do you still beat you wife??” no matter how you answer the question it doesn’t look good for you. In the end the leopard showed her true spots. Its like get caught looking at a very revealing cleveage. Even though the shirt is purposely wide open, you still have a very uncomfrotable situation. Do you comment or just try to put your tongue back into your mouth. Posted By Jay Chandler AZ : December 17, 2007 7:57 pm
Actually, Jay, I think your version is MORE exciting. How do you know she wasn’t wearing any underwear? It would explain a lot. I still think that was a little more pleasant than the guy I sat next to from SF to NYC last night, who wasn’t wearing any deodorant… Posted By thebingblog : December 17, 2007 6:21 pm
Did you ever wonder what color underwear she was wearing??? That never came up because unlike what she was wearing on TV. she didn’t have on any underwear. That my friend is the rest of the story and that is why she got kicked off. Try to find any press questions requarding this, there isn’t any. The story is not nearly exciting, if everyone knew the whole story. Posted By Jay, Chandler AZ : December 17, 2007 4:58 pm
My worst Faux-Pas of the year involved a sort-of-boss and a game we play in the office. My department is spread over an abnormal size in our office because of poor planning, so our games are sometimes played over the phone. One of our games is the “So-and-so needs a hug” game, where I get a call from someone in the office asking to give someone else in the office a hug, to which I respond “Does so-and-so need a hug?”. It’s generally done over speakerphone so that the hilarity that it is in our minds is enjoyed by the masses. On this particular day I was asked if I gave mouth hugs, a term we use to avoid saying the vulgar term it’s associated with. I responded back “I don’t, but if you talk to so-and-so boss he does.” I can still hear over the phone that sort-of-boss asking from a distance “What’s a mouth hug?” as my cohort slammed the hang-up button. To this day that sort-of-boss still doesn’t understand what was so funny, and I continue to sit elsewhere in the department. Oh, and our jokes aren’t played over speakerphone anymore. Posted By Dan, Waukesha Wisconsin : December 17, 2007 1:08 pm
Kurt, I have seen people on airplanes wearing the most amazing, inappropriate outfits you can imagine. Perhaps her motives were not as pure as they should have been… but wasn’t it dumb of the airline to make a huge issue out of it? Sometimes a little patience is called for, you know, even with attractive people who are scantily clad. Posted By thebingblog : December 17, 2007 11:38 am
I complimented a client on her company’s new TV ad…went on and on about what I liked. She stared at me and said: “That’s our competitor’s ad.” Posted By Sam, Nashville, TN : December 17, 2007 11:29 am
perfectly appropriate? They had to blur it out when she was on the “talk show rounds” the next couple of days… She also happens to have now posed in Playboy since the incident (which really does not matter to the SWA incident), but says a little about her, her motives after the fact and leaves little of her credibility intact Posted By Kurt Phoenix, AZ : December 17, 2007 11:16 am
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A reader from California writes...
My boss called me 12 times during the 2 hour period when my wife was delivering our first baby. In the 12th call he told me that I should be courteous enough to pick up the phone even though I was in the operating theater. I made one call to him after my baby was born and I could just see his face as I responded with one line: I quit. I got another job in about a week. Read more crazy boss stories. 
Stanley Bing
Stanley Bing is a Fortune columnist and best-selling author of business books noted for their wisdom as well as their sharp, slightly acrid sense of humor. He is also the only writer on business and the workplace who still puts on a suit and tie and goes to do battle with the dragons that breathe fire at corporate America every day. This blog captures what remains of his brain after it has exploded in all other directions.
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I was playing Trivia with a 10 year old and my husband. The question was about water polo. I said I didn’t know how many horses they used but probably 6. That was a few years ago. The 10 year old is now 27 and does not let me forget it.