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  1. They don’t sleep. I know quite a few people who have received phone calls full of ideas, dyspepsia and wind, from their mogul who is at that moment on an exercise bicycle… at 3:00 AM. The mogul never acts like it’s weird to be calling at that hour. They  just get lit up about something and because their personal boundary mechanism is out-of-whack, they don’t realize it’s inappropriate for them to do anything at all, let alone put on their headsets and get cracking in the middle of the night. Many claim they get some of their best ideas at that hour. This remains to be seen. Many things look either too good or too bad in the small hours before dawn. Since moguls have NO bad ideas, they default to the former.
  2. They therefore come in very early and are often the last to leave. Many is the corporation where the boss’s car is the first in the parking lot in the morning and the final one to go through the security gate at night. This is not necessarily because they are the hardest working person in the company, although sometimes they are. It’s because the silence in their home is so profound that it can’t be faced while sober, and it’s not acceptable to start drinking at dawn. The office, jammed to the brim with people who will listen to the mogul’s noise and respond with some of their own, is far more congenial.
  3. They eat blueberries. A few years ago it became mandatory for all moguls to become interested in anti-oxidants and proficient in their use. Now you can’t sit with a bona-fide mogul without engaging in extensive conversation on the issue. The good news is that holding up your end of the conversation won’t be a problem, because the mogul is doing it for both of you.
  4. They are in 24/7 electronic communications. I saw a mogul in the shallow end of the Four Seasons swimming pool in Beverly Hills last month, talking into thin air on his Bluetooth headset. That’s what I’m talking about.
  5. They yell. Actually, I should add to that. He was YELLING into his Bluetooth headset. Moguls love to yell the way babies love to cry. It’s one of their ways of expressing frustration, hunger, pique or rage when words fail them. It gets results faster than calm discussion or even a crusty memo. Also, the same way nobody civilized will yell back at a baby, nobody in their right minds yells back at a mogul, either.
  6. They love their hobby. Warren Buffett recently told CBS News that he is so passionate about bridge that he would prefer it to the sight of a naked woman. The exact quote was, “You know, if I’m playing bridge and a naked woman walks by, I don’t even see her.” In short, they play as hard as they do other things.
  7. They are only comfortable around other moguls… even ones they do not like. Which explains Davos.



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I MUST be a mogul, I just don’t have have the resources (money, time, people willing to take my crap because I know I’m right all the time).

Anybody hiring moguls in training?

Posted By Ryan, Houston, Tx : February 21, 2008 3:41 pm

Yes Bing, once again you are right on. I worked for a mogul who presided over a fabulously large empire of businesses. He was so rich everyone in management got paid top dollar for their services(me included). He thought nothing of calling people at odd hours with his newest ‘idea’. He would also saunter late into staff meetings and interrupt the VP to say we should all just hop on a bus and head out to Disneyland on the companys dime. (That never happened of course). He was crazy as hell. He also did cocaine during work hours. True story.

Posted By Julie, St. George Utah : February 21, 2008 3:47 pm

hmmmm, I never seen Donald Trump and Warren Buffet wera a Bluetooth headset in TV. I think those are wannabe Moguls.

Posted By oliver, silver spring md : February 21, 2008 3:47 pm

They are also shallow, self absorBed nitwits who waste their lives. No thanks, they should be laughed at, not emulated.

Posted By PAT,HOUSTON,TX : February 21, 2008 3:50 pm

It;s the game they love;money is a reward for doing it right.
Art

Posted By Arthur W, Burns,Jackson ,Nj 08527 : February 21, 2008 4:33 pm

I worked for the guy you described. The funny thing is, in the big picture of things, he was small potatoes – his company netted a couple million a year. But within the confines of the office, he was the MOGUL and had all the traits you described.

Posted By humphrmi, Chicago, IL : February 21, 2008 7:27 pm

bing.

shoot me straight. im a 25 year old guy, who displays 1/2 the qualities you discribed. and secretly yearn for the others. (not exactly)

if i am aspiring to be a mogul or at least mogulesque, doest that automatically mean im going to hell? just weighing my options. everyone has to have an exit strategy.

Posted By chris. san francisco, ca : February 21, 2008 8:31 pm

My experience with a power mogul follows:
1. Computer rested in bed separating spouses (rumored).
2. First in parking lot signaled the work force that the mogul is in house and ready to kick a–.
3. Swimming pool acts as a damper on any physical attraction.
4. Hold conference calls with one phone in each ear and talking into speaker phone.
5. Yelling gives way to screaming with siliva spewing at the target.
6. Blind passion for one’s hobby in public displays one’s discomfort zone.
7. Addiction to one’s sphere of influence results from fear of being dispossessed.

We are exactly what we were born to be; belief that outside influences molded our character is sheer folly.

Posted By Bob Shelby Twp. Mi. : February 21, 2008 10:44 pm

You might be right on, but these are hardly all good qualities I’d want to emulate. There are lots of successful people that are able to manage their time, go home early, and have a life outside of work–which is far more important than being a “mogul.”

Posted By Russ, Chicago : February 22, 2008 8:21 am

Oh, I can’t stand the thought of Warren Buffet yelling at someone…or looking at a naked woman, now that I think about it.

Posted By Suzanne Broughton, Irvine, Ca. : February 22, 2008 1:45 pm

Don’t forget Acai and wheat grass. Blueberries are yesterday’s vitamin powerhouse and so…domestic! Bing they have Omega 3s, haha.

Posted By Jessica, Tampa, FL : February 22, 2008 9:48 pm

In brief, they are a bunch of losers. So bad manners and lack of social, sexual or family life make you a mogul? I don’t need all their money to live like a king.

Posted By Cesar, Brussels, Belgium : February 23, 2008 3:13 pm

I’d like to know exactly where and how regularly naked women walk past Warren Buffett while he’s playing bridge.

I can only assume from his quote that it’s happened at least a few times.

Posted By Rebecca, Philadelphia, PA : February 23, 2008 5:42 pm

Here is another example of paraphrasing a quote and changing the meaning. This is done constantly by the media. Bing are you a member of the media?

If W.B. indicated that he is so focused on his game that he does not notice outside influences (such as a naked woman), he has not indicated that he prefers his hobby to naked women. For you to then state that he prefers his hobby to naked women is a reckless distortion of what the man actually said. Reckless, I say.

Cheers,

Posted By Matt, Miami, Florida : February 25, 2008 1:09 pm

I think one of the most interesting comments came from the person who wondered where Mr. Buffett was playing poker in proximity to naked women. I never get to go to those places.

Posted By Bing : February 25, 2008 2:10 pm

Now you’ve got him playing poker. I don’t think he likes the typical Las Vegas games. He is too smart for that.

Cheers again.

Posted By Matt, Miami, Florida : February 25, 2008 2:35 pm

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Stanley Bing
Stanley Bing is a Fortune columnist and best-selling author of business books noted for their wisdom as well as their sharp, slightly acrid sense of humor. He is also the only writer on business and the workplace who still puts on a suit and tie and goes to do battle with the dragons that breathe fire at corporate America every day. This blog captures what remains of his brain after it has exploded in all other directions.
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