Comments on: 12 things to do at an all-day meeting

By: Steve Bangalore India

Steve Bangalore India — Thu, 01 May 2008 03:45:40 +0000

Just call in sick. Any company that has all day meetings will not be long for this world and your job will be outsourced to Outer Mongolia and the next meeting will serve yak meat. Use your sick day, to google Ulan Bator. In the event you failed to call in sick, use the meeting to plot the downfall of the bigger bosses and your promotion to super top brassdom. Then and only then will you beable to share your wisdom with the disinterested meeting goers.

By: Bob Shelby Twp. Mi.

Bob Shelby Twp. Mi. — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 23:42:25 +0000

Trickle down meeting feed-back.

1. B. of D.s to CEO COO CFO; we must improve bottom line.
2. CEO COO CFO to sraff; control costs.
3. Staff to directors; improve efficiency and cut Waste.
4. Directors to dept. heads; we’re over budget.
5. Production manager to superintendent; control down time.
6. Superintendentd to General foreman; document all written reports.
7. General foreman to foreman; cut scrap and repairs.
8. Foreman to workers; “PLEASE BE MORE CAREFUL. OK?
9. Workers; they’re starting that crap again.
10. Workers to inspectors; your damn gauges are off.
11. Inspectors scrap tags with report forwarded to Quality Control Manager.
12. Sales rep. to Qulaity Control Manager; “OUR SYSTEM WORKS BY REMOTE CONTROL IN THE DARK WITHOUT WORKERS”!

I’m reminded of a song that was popular in the fifties about General Custer; one line goes: “Please Mister Custer, I don’t wanna to go. Please Mr. Custer, please don’t make me go”! This song is in reference to “Custer’s Last Stand”!!

By: Bob G, Cincinnati, OH

Bob G, Cincinnati, OH — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 22:45:12 +0000

Brilliant stuff that comes from the mind of someone who has spent WAY too much time in these situations.

By: Jessica, St. Cloud, MN

Jessica, St. Cloud, MN — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 21:31:22 +0000

Oh, and I forgot to add…

#13 Make a list of things to do in an all day meeting.

By: Chad New York, NY

Chad New York, NY — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 20:10:38 +0000

Very good tips. I have learned the great ability to space out while looking like I am paying attention. I can do it for hours on end. Has helped me through many a meetings

By: Tom - Cape Fear

Tom - Cape Fear — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 19:30:14 +0000

I like that – knitting

That used to be what smoking in meetings was good for back before the second-hand smoke nazis took over.

By: Jack Hammond Canada

Jack Hammond Canada — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 19:18:02 +0000

13 Sit there and smile as you think about using a death ray, for people who want to talk minusha and drag a boring meeting into an eternity.

14 list all those attending and score them by how many times the boss rolls his eyes when they make their presentation. This will help pass the time and make you look like you really care.

By: Dano, Des Moines, Iowa

Dano, Des Moines, Iowa — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 19:15:43 +0000

I thought that I was alone in the affliction of meeting narcolepsy. That has hurt me a couple of times, and its always “my fault”. Now I pinch myself relentlessly (with fingernails) to avoid this problem.

By: Jessica, St. Cloud MN

Jessica, St. Cloud MN — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 18:06:28 +0000

Bing, you ARE a naughty boy!

By: Abby, Columbus, Ohio

Abby, Columbus, Ohio — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 16:21:57 +0000

Explain that you can concentrate better if your hands are busy–then knit while pretending to listen.

By: Rebecca, Philadelphia, PA

Rebecca, Philadelphia, PA — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 14:25:31 +0000

Re #3: If no one can see your pad (or if everyone who can see it is in the same boat), try writing or drawing simple shapes with your non-dominant hand. It’s difficult enough that it should help with #8 as well.

Re #5: Eat that bagel or muffin one pinch at a time. I don’t care how hungry you are. Consider it an exercise in discipline. The food is the best thing that’s going to happen to you in this meeting. Make it last.

Re #8: I was once caught falling asleep in a meeting my third day on the job. The big boss called me out on it. I jerked awake and said “I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I was trying to go without coffee today.” This led to such consternation and amazement at my valor that my gaffe was quickly forgotten. Feel free to use this yourself the next time you get caught. Might be a little tougher to pull off if you have a coffee cup in front of you, though.

Re #12: I’ve seen some careers damaged when people picked up their legal pads too casually and a couple of the sudokus or crosswords stuffed inside floated out to say hello.

(I tape mine down.)