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Wednesday, August 20, 2008 at 10:31 am
So it was with great anticipation that I looked forward to meeting this guy I’ll call Gutman. He had been touted to me as the answer to a problem that I have to solve in the next couple of months. About three weeks ago, the phone rang. “Good news,” said Niela, the woman in HR who sets up such things. “Gutman is coming in on the 22nd. He’s working his schedule around to make sure he can get here. Lives in Atlanta, you know. But excited about coming up here to talk with you.” Good, I thought. Guy’s got a nice resume. Seems very qualified. A grown up, too, which is not all-too common these days. You’d be amazed how many guys pop out of business school covered with afterbirth and expect a seven figure deal and a corner office. This fellow has some chops, I thought. Could be the answer. A week later, the phone rang. “A little wrinkle,” said Niela. “Gutman wants us to pay for his airfare up here. And to put him up for a night, since he won’t be able to make the round trip in one day.” “That’s reasonable,” I said. But a little tickle announced itself in the back of my stomach. I hate that tickle. It means a part of my perception mechanism that I can’t quite control has slipped into gear. I began to very slightly dread meeting this Gutman. But I said to myself, wait a minute, isn’t that assertiveness that exact kind of thing you’re looking for in a manager? That ability to articulate his needs and get the job done to his benefit? Isn’t that precisely the quality, as obnoxious as it may sometimes be, that differentiates a leader from those who are led? A week ago or thereabouts, the phone rang again. “What is it, Niela,” I said. “Gutman says that since his interview is on a Friday, and he has other appointments in New York, it will be difficult for him to get back to Atlanta before Sunday night. So he’d like us to handle his hotel for the weekend, plus the airfare, you know…” She paused. “And?” I said. This was beginning to be interesting. “And he wants us to pay for his wife to accompany him on the trip.” This was fairly astounding. Was it possible that I had stumbled on a potential CEO? Who wants such people around, even in prototype? “Cancel Gutman,” I said to Niela. And that’s what we did. This Friday, my calendar looks blessedly clear, except for a couple of benign meetings with my gang. I still have my little problem that needs to solved, of course. I just haven’t acquired any new ones. Perhaps I can help you solve your little problem. I’ll just need you to fly me and my family to New York for the interview. We should only need a week. After all, I can’t leave the kids home with a relative, since Grandma and Grandpa have to work now that their home is worth less than the mortgage. Posted By John Tobin, Salt Lake City, UT : August 20, 2008 11:35 am
But let me ask, as one of those recently whelped b-school grads: on occasion I’ve had prospective employers offer to fly my wife in, put me up for a weekend, etc. Was I churlish to accept? Or would it have been rude not to? Posted By Trevor, Portland, OR : August 20, 2008 11:40 am
You lost Gutman over a few lousy dollars. Sure he is a pain the the backside and his wife is always phoning at the office or dropping his brats off at the office so the secretary can babysit them. Okay so he pretencious and pushy and has the personal appearance of an ape with a hangover and bad breath. Bing this was our one chance to get him out of our office and into yours, had my staff known about the lousy hotel fees we would all have chipped in and paid it our selves. Posted By Jack Hammond Canada : August 20, 2008 11:59 am
It was reasonable for him to expect airfaire and hotel (the first request) but the hotel throughout the weekend? The wife? Etc? Ridiculous! What a pain in the rump. Posted By Joanna, Los Angeles, California : August 20, 2008 12:59 pm
Pick Me! Pick Me! I can problem solve and capable of leading (limited experience). I have no idea what the job entails, still working on my BS (have AAA in Video), but I am unemployed and bored to death! I am going crazy over here in the Seattle job market!!!!!!!!!!!!! Posted By Liberty, Seattle, Washington : August 20, 2008 1:12 pm
“Was it possible that I had stumbled on a potential CEO? Who wants such people around, even in prototype?” - Priceless, Mr. Bing, priceless! Posted By Leeroy Jenkins : August 20, 2008 1:18 pm
Where do I submit my resume? I can assure you I can complete whatever task you need done better than Gutman. Posted By Matt, Omaha NE : August 20, 2008 3:01 pm
Hey you phony retard. I know your some stiff now because no self respecting boss actually works friday. Posted By The Chief, NYC : August 20, 2008 4:34 pm
Gutman was out of his mind. Airfare and one night hotel sure. The rest out of the question. Still looking for someone to solve your little problem? I’m available and can make it a day trip. In Atlanta (don’t hold that against me after the Gutman incident). Post me back. Keep writing. Posted By Robert, Atlanta GA : August 20, 2008 5:02 pm
You should have made a counter offer Bing. An indecent proposal? Posted By Heff, LA and CA : August 20, 2008 5:23 pm
Next you would be asked if you were picking up the sale of his house and providing moving expenses. Posted By Jack, Phoenix, AZ : August 20, 2008 7:28 pm
Mr. Bing I’ll come in for the interview. I’ve got lots of life experience, a Bachelor and a Master Posted By Chris, Oslo, Norway : August 21, 2008 4:47 am
It’s funny to read comments and to see how people want to apply on a job they don’t know anything about. Good luck guys, hope you’ll find what you are looking for. Posted By Gilles Dublin : August 21, 2008 5:41 am
>on occasion I’ve had prospective employers offer to fly my wife in, put me up for a weekend, etc. this is indeed done sometimes; if gutman asked for this at the start, bing might well have told HR yes; stepwise refinement did him in Posted By yuen, singapore, singapore : August 21, 2008 7:28 am
It sems to me that Gutman’s vanity was over ridden by his lack of expertise in gamesship. In today’s world of increasing expertise in top gun gamesmanship, management is more interested in what an individual has behind his eyes and between his ears. Our foundations were built in 1776 with superstructure from wooden beams Would it be possible that those beams were loaded today wih termites? Give a termite an inch of knotty pine and he with his family will take the whole nine yards! Posted By Bob Shelby Twp. Mi. : August 21, 2008 9:34 am
“cancel Gutman” or cancel my replacement. I wonder if you saw a bit of yourself in Gutman and got scared? You are a potential CEO? right? Posted By Eric, Atlanta GA : August 21, 2008 9:55 am
(Realizing that you sometimes write about firms that are not your own): Your firm asked a candidate to on-site interview in another city located a significant distance from his home location, and did not automatically offer to make all his arrangements? Sounds to me like Gutman got the impression ya’ll were cheap and wanted to test his theory. I mean, anytime I interview out of my MSA the wooing firm makes the travel arrangements through their in-house staff and just tells me where and when to show up. What kind of firm WOULDN’T do that? Posted By Allan, Orlando FL : August 21, 2008 10:43 am
Congratulations on ditching Gutman. Now, how about filling that spot from within — you know, rewarding one of those people who have actually already proven themselves in your organization? And I’m curious about the odd little graphic that is now appearing in the upper right corner of each comment. What’s that about? Posted By Steve, Charleston, WV : August 21, 2008 10:53 am
I think I might have worked for Gutman at sometime in my career?? Anyway, you restored my faith by cancelling the interview. Since you sent a resounding kick to his posterior, perhaps we might refer to him as ‘Buttman’. Posted By Faithful Reader, Ontario : August 21, 2008 12:13 pm
I feel a new verb developing, as in “I’m gonna ‘Gutman’ this interview.” Conjugations welcome. Posted By Bill, Laurel, MD : August 21, 2008 12:17 pm
How about giving your problem to your competitor? Posted By Fred Fry, Bayville, NY : August 21, 2008 12:18 pm
Hey, I want to thank all of you for your interesting and occasionally hilarious comments. My favorite insult, as you all know, came months ago in the form of the Anonymous contributor who wrote me to say, “Your Stupid.” Loved that. Today we have a new entrant from The Chief in NYC, who writes below, “Hey you phony retard. I know your some stiff now because no self respecting boss actually works friday.” Well put! Thanks for writing. As for the question about the little graphic to the right of every comment… I have NO idea. I think unless you tell me who you are and include an avatar, the software gives you that weird little thing. That’s why I have my picture of a Mountie. Posted By Bing : August 21, 2008 12:28 pm
Hey Bing! The bright side of having this blog is an additional pool of talent on top of the employees or “partners” (as some firms call them) in your organization. Don’t get me started on companies that use the term “partners”. Sounds like lots of people may be qualified to assist you. Good Luck with the hiring! Question for “The Chief”- Are you for you real, with that comment? Posted By Liberty, Seattle, Washington : August 21, 2008 1:32 pm
Bing, What is your little problem? I am particularly good at fixing problems. TJ Posted By TJ, Lansing, MI : August 21, 2008 1:59 pm
Hey Bing, Or maybe he really did not what to move to NYC. Believe me after my recent experience with JFK airport, I will happily take ATL anyday. I too have a great resume and 20 years of sweet talking people into doing things my way but the advances of technology will allow me to solve in from the comforts of home with my laptop. Posted By Barb in Hot, Dry ‘lanta, Ga : August 21, 2008 11:05 pm
Dude! If little Gutman is asking for everything now it is only a matter a time before he is asking for a driver and to take vacation during your year-end crunch (just wanted to bring that vacation thing up again). Well I better get back to looking like I am on top of things for the rest of the morning before I skip out of here for a long lunch for some “appointments”. It is Friday… Posted By Dude in Boise : August 22, 2008 10:06 am
You’d be amazed how many guys pop out of business school covered with afterbirth and expect a seven figure deal and a corner office. Bing, upon reading this I burst out laughing uncontrollably, coffee spilling on my shirt. Hmm, how to justify expensing the laundering cost… Posted By Mr. TTG in an undisclosed location in New England : August 22, 2008 11:01 am
You could start your own resume website. We would all sign up! Posted By Liberty, Seattle, Washington : August 22, 2008 2:13 pm
BING, THIS IS GUTMAN — seriously, no joke, the real thing. Kudos on the column and regrets for the delayed response. However, like you, Bing, Gutman is a busy guy (a mover and shaker) who just got around to reading your profound prose at this late hour –after his real boss, the wife, went to sleep. Gutman appreciates your candor and maintaining his confidentiality (ditto for your HR gurus, I’m sure). Gutman can tell you’re a real mensch, Bing, despite what “Page Six” says. Anyhow, regarding our unfortunate situation, Bing, your HR folks apparently pitched you some high heat in true Yankees fashion. Something obviously got lost in translation. Talk about crisis communications…very ironic! Thus, kindly allow Gutman to correct the record by pointing out the FACTS — as the “facts” you articulated are egregiously erroneous (albeit understandable based on what HR mis-conveyed). First, Bing, your HR folks recruited Gutman, not vice-versa. Repeat: they sought out Gutman for the would-be meeting and potential position. Apparently, Gutman was the solution to your pending problem. Keep in mind that (FYI) Gutman already has a long-time, secure, comfortable and lucrative gig in Hotlanta — where he’s still “THE MAN” as they say. Thus, from Gutman’s humble perspective, you should have called the column: “How to lose the crucial candidate before the interview.” Read on… Second, Bing, your HR folks offered to pay for my airfare and put me up for one night at a fancy 5-star hotel to make this meeting happen. Obviously, Bing, your mega-corp still has some money to burn, even if its stock is slumping. Third, Gutman did in fact inform the HR folks that his lovely wife would join him on the trip, per her request (you know about marriage, Bing: if mamma ain’t happy, nobody’s happy). Yes, Gutman DID casually inquire to the HR folks — who recruited him — what, if anything could be done to accommodate his travel (on that note, Gutman is guilty as charged — slap on the handcuffs and haul him off to the slammer). Perhaps the mild mannered inquiry did not go over well with HR. But Gutman is not gutless! Gutman diplomatically tested the waters to see how much the meeting mattered, and how far “the corp” would go to make it happen — as Gutman had other people to see in the Big Apple (he’s a native New Yorker) and would be there over the weekend following the Friday meeting (which, as a footnote, coincided with his anniversary). So pity poor Gutman for needing to know where the lines were drawn regarding “the corp” and his travel accommodations. As Gutman says: no guts, no glory! Hence, the friendly HR gal explained that “the corp” could not pay for Mrs. Gutman’s travel expenses or for more than one night at the hotel for Gutman preceding the day of the meeting. Okay, fine, no problema amiga. Gutman then had the audacity to ask the friendly HR gal if he could still receive their corporate rate for the other nights the Gutmans would be in town, as they would like to stay at the same hotel — keeping in mind the Gutmans would pay out-of-pocket for those nights (which, by the way, weren’t cheap); not to mention paying out-of-pocket for Mrs. Gutman’s plane ticket and other misc. expenses. It was the Gutmans’ anniversary weekend afterall. No balls, no bliss! BUT HERE’S THE KICKER, BING — The next day, the friendly HR gal calls Gutman to apologize, explaining exasperated that “the corp” can’t spend chump change for the ONE lousy hotel night that was first promised as sop! Why not? Apparently HR could not “justify” the one night hotel expense to its travel dept — as the meeting was the next afternoon, not the next morning. Thus, Gutman, despite his busy job in Hotlanta and other plans, would have to travel to and from the meeting the same day if “the corp” were even to splurge for the airfare! This would have been fine if expressed upfront. But Gutman stands on principle because accountability counts (or does it in the private sector? Did someone say Enron?) In essence, “the corp” could not even justify splurging one lousy night for the solution to Bing’s problem…after all the time and effort spent recruiting Gutman (and, let’s remember, time is money — right, Bing?). Thus HR and the travel dept gutted Gutman’s meeting to apparently save a few pennies on one night at the hotel. Is this what they call “specialty services”? Talk about throwing out the baby with the bathwater! Is this how a multi-billion conglomerate operates when recruiting a potential star? Wow, Gutman said to himself, business at “the corp” must be really bad — even though “the corp” just spent nearly $2 billion acquiring a hot Internet outfit a few weeks ago! In shock at the meeting meltdown, Gutman spilled HIS coffee on his favorite Brooks Brothers suit!!! Argh!!!!!! You should have received the cleaning bill for the suit by now, Bing. Please don’t hesitate to send it to HR as a speciality service. Good luck and God-speed, Gutman PS – You know how to reach me, Bing. Posted By GUTMAN, Atlanta : August 30, 2008 3:40 am
I literally just went on an interview that was much more like a recruiting than seeking interview. It was out of town and the company offered to pay for my travel to and from, plus one night in a hotel the night before. It was on a Thursday, and as it was Labor Day weekend, I took the opportunity to explore the city & stayed all weekend. I stayed in the hotel the first day, then found another place, more “vacationy” for the rest of the weekend. While they offered to reimburse my mileage to and from (it was a 3.5 hour drive), they haven’t requested my mileage and I haven’t prodded them about it. Seems rude considering I used the weekend to vacation. Sorry, GUTMAN, your explanation is worse than the story. Instead of letting them know that you have something personal going on that week and would like to do it the following week (your anniversary), you were gonna milk it for the wife. No sympathy here. Posted By Holly, Texas : September 5, 2008 11:43 am
Gutman, maybe you should spend more time polishing up your skills rather than trying to milk companies for their money for your trips with the wifey! Bing was correct in his judgement to dump you on the spot. Posted By Seattle, WA : October 7, 2008 4:02 pm
Gutman, Gutman, Gutman….your reply post to Bing sounds like someone scorned! Don’t be bitter…just realize that smart people always catch-on to others who just want to ride the gravy-train. I would NEVER hire you! Posted By San Diego, CA : October 7, 2008 4:12 pm
Gutman had come out his mind.Airfare and one night hotel sure for him. Still are you waiting for solving problem? great9126, Posted By great9126,New York,America : February 4, 2009 8:43 am
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Stanley Bing
Stanley Bing is a Fortune columnist and best-selling author of business books noted for their wisdom as well as their sharp, slightly acrid sense of humor. He is also the only writer on business and the workplace who still puts on a suit and tie and goes to do battle with the dragons that breathe fire at corporate America every day. This blog captures what remains of his brain after it has exploded in all other directions.
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I could be the solution to your problem. Granted I have no experience in the industry, and don’t know what the job entails. But determination is my middle name! I also like 6-figured salaries and New York!