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no-signIt is my belief, based on a day-by-day analysis of the situation as it pertains to my own sector and the economy as a whole, that Wall Street should be shut down immediately and re-opened to people who can prove their sanity on January 2.

We don’t let people drive who are drunk. We don’t allow people to operate heavy machinery when they’re on psychotropic medication (except in California). Wall Street and its associated analysts, brokers, traders and investors are simply too stupid to operate at this point. So let’s not let them.

Everybody should take a month or so, celebrate the holidays with their families, take a look at the genuine value of the companies on the various exchanges, and then come back with a clear head. It’s hard to have a clear head when it’s shoved firmly into the darkest place imaginable. Let’s wait until we get a little light.

This is not an academic proposal. What we have here are a bunch of guys potted on fear, thwarted greed, grief and short-termitis, rampaging through the forest with shotguns. Not since Dick Cheney went duck hunting have we seen such danger to all in the vicinity.

Companies that are actually performing quite well are zooming down to incomprehensible lows, with market caps lower than the value of the real estate on which their operations perch. Anybody with half a brain is sitting things out until the madness is over. This leaves those with less than half a brain on the field.

Let’s send them all home. Now. Let the season of cheer and good-fellowship start immediately. And take the guns out of the hands of these children.

Right on…although I would make the delay till jan 20

Posted By Josh, Tucson, Az : November 20, 2008 12:39 pm

Dick Cheney wasn’t duck hunting. He was hunting quail. And lawyers.

Posted By Leeroy : November 20, 2008 12:50 pm

I may only have half a brain, but I’m willing to risk buying while things are on the way down to get shares at these prices.

I could use a month or so off, though. Thanks, Bing!

Posted By Leeroy : November 20, 2008 12:51 pm

AMEN.

Posted By DAN, VENTURA, CA : November 20, 2008 12:56 pm

Exactly… I work for a company that provides a solution that our customers absolutely need to perform their core functions and has been around for over 20 years and is a recognized leader in its field, been growing at a reasonable clip, and is pumping out new technologies every year. Yet our market cap is about 40% less than our annual revenue…

This herd mentality needs to end today!

Posted By Ed, Boulder, CO : November 20, 2008 1:37 pm

Someone once said the people are basically monkeys wearing clothes, that observation seems to be correct when you view wall street, throw a handful of peanuts/bailout money in to their cage and they go crazy.

I think I will head down to Starbucks and see if they will take a share of GM for a small cappacino.

Posted By Jack Hammond Canada : November 20, 2008 2:02 pm

I agree,
Sometimes you just gotta stop fighting and accept a short term defeat, leave, regroup, and come back with full force and win.

Al Sefati

Posted By San Diego, CA : November 20, 2008 2:03 pm

Bing,

Yeah, the market’s in the crapper. Yeah, insiders are much to blame. At least we know, as we have always known, that the market will always, and I do mean always, revert to an historical mean. We had a tech bubble, and it burst. After that, we had pretty darn good market returns for awhile. We’re now having a huge crash, and you know what? We’ll have pretty darn good returns for quite a long time, at some point in the future. I don’t know when, so I’ll continue to buy nearly everything. One thing’s for sure. I hope you’re ignoring this advice with your personal nest egg.

Posted By Josh, Huntsville, AL : November 20, 2008 3:19 pm

WRONG!

The markets are free and fair. The reason why they are down is because there were far too many fair-weather investors in the game. They saw a few clouds and deciced to pull their money out. Now that the rain is coming down, no one knows what to do.

This “financial crisis” is actually a good thing. It will teach people with no tolerance for risk that they should invest in low-risk investments such as U.S. Treasuries. It tells the chickens that investing takes guts and perseverance. Those that are getting out of the game should have never been in the game at all.

Posted By Yadgyu, Harkeyville, TX : November 20, 2008 10:26 pm

Not one gun has ever killed a person, it was the person using the gun. Your ignorant rant misses the POINT that the Senate and House have been MAJORITY controlled by DEMOCRATS (how about them first 100 day of promises 2 years ago) who had COMPLETE OVERSIGHT OF FANNIE AND FREDDIE which are at the root of the problem. Take the guns from the children? How about NO MORTGAGES FOR LYING APPLICANTS WHO COULD NOT REPAY and who financed 120% of equity. Not thier fault, YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME. Maybe less time smoking in the parking lot in high school would have helped thier adult life AND personal responsibility for actions.
Suckered? What happened to 20-30% down payments in CASH? If you don’t have it, you don’t DESERVE to buy it. Blameing the shovelers of CRAP instead of the COW who made the patty and the FARMERS (Senate Banking Commitee and Sen Dodd)who supervise the cow is “trendy” but IGNORANT. Without the democratic push for increased subprime lending (even Clinton thought this was risky), there would be no mess. By the way, Dick was qail hunting, not duck hunting. Think about this as you assess blame, which of those fools (Dems or Repub.) in Congress would you trust your children to if you died? You already made the decision and you are worried about Dick bird hunting?

Posted By Phil, ,Detroit, MI : November 21, 2008 9:01 am

Oh man, here we go. Belligerence in the Blogosphere. Let’s keep calm, people.

Posted By Bill, Laurel, MD : November 21, 2008 1:18 pm

What Wall Street has become has very little, if anything to do with Capitalism…. which is privately owned means of creating capital. It has turned into people (investors) demanding that whatever it takes… INCREASE THE VALUE OF THEIR SHARES. Why? So they can then sell them and realize a profit. Wow.

Even the incentives given to executives are counter productive to a successful company. Do whatever it takes in the short term to increase the value of the stock for each quarter. Period!

If you are a middle manager and you know that you can increase your productivity in manufacturing but it would cost you your bonus, would you still do it? In my experience, they won’t.

Dear God, please don’t mention guns… then you invite the wackos to come out and foam at the mouth. I don’t see that sort of rage when a pedophile gives their kids candy!

BTW, I do own a gun… I just don’t have a “personal” relationship with it.

Posted By Darren7160, Neenah, Wi : November 25, 2008 6:21 pm

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Stanley Bing
Stanley Bing is a Fortune columnist and best-selling author of business books noted for their wisdom as well as their sharp, slightly acrid sense of humor. He is also the only writer on business and the workplace who still puts on a suit and tie and goes to do battle with the dragons that breathe fire at corporate America every day. This blog captures what remains of his brain after it has exploded in all other directions.