Galleries
Tags
AAPL Acquisitions Addiction Adult ADD Adult Video Convention Advertising Age Advertising campaigns AEG AIG Air Force One Airline Travel Alan Greenspan Alcor Life Extension Foundation Allen & Co. Amazon american airlines Analog solutions Analysts Anger Annoying Employees Anxiety AOL Apple Arjun Murti Armageddon Arnold Schwarzenegger Ashton Kutcher Ask Bing Augustus Auto Bailout Baby Boomers bad days Bad guys Bailouts Bank Failures Bank of America bank write downs bankers Barack Obama Barry Bonds Barry Diller baseball legends Batman Bear market Bear Stearns Bed Bath & Beyond beer Ben Franklin Berlusconi Bernanke Bernard Madoff Best Buy Beverly Hilton Big Bad Corporations Big Fish Games Bill Clinton Bill Gates Bill O'Reilly Bing Bing Awards bing recommends Bing Videos Bing's Law bingstuff Bipolar bird entrails Black Friday Black Screen BlackBerry Bloggers Bluetooth Bobby Flay body language bogus dudes Bonds Boneheads Bono Bonuses Book Stores books Boomers Booze Booze in First Class Boss's Day Bosses Boy Scouts Brand Encroachment Brand Loyalty Brazil Brian Greene British Air Britney Britney Spears Brooks Brothers BS Bubbles Bullies Bulls**t Jobs Burlington Northern Railroad Business Breakfast business dinners business ideas Business Language Business Life Business Media Business Stories of the Year business travel Business Week Buzzwords Cadbury Caesar call to action Canada Canon Capitalism Captive Marketing Carat Carbon Footprint Careers Carl Icahn CBS News/NY Times Poll Celebrity Meltdowns Cell phones CEOs CES Character Character Issue Chauncey Gardiner Cheese balls Cheese Logs cheeseburgers Cheryl Crow China Christmas cheer Chrome Chrysler Chuck Prince Citibank Citigroup Clone Monkeys Cloud computing Clubs CNBC cnnmoney Cobra Microport Comment of the day Complisults Computer geekery computers Conde Nast Confidence games Congress Conspiracies Consultants Consumer Confidence Consumer Electronics Show Consumerism conventions Corporate Apologies corporate culture Corporate Retreats Corporate Sanity cost of housing Costco Countrywide coyotes Crazy Bosses Creative Capitalism credit cards Credit Suisse crooks (alleged) cryogenics cubicles Cutbacks Cyber Monday Dalai Lama David Beckham David Geffen Davos dead cat bounce Debt Dee Dee Myers Democrats Dennis Levine Depression Depression (emotional) Derivatives Designer Stubble Diabetes Dictator of the Week Diets digital elph Digital solutions to analog problems Digital Transition Donald Trump Dracula Drinking Drunken Excess Duke Nukem Dumbest Moments Dummies E-Mail E.U.R. E3 Earnings EBay Economic analysis Economic Imperialism Economic Meltdown Economic Stimulus Economic Trends Economics Economists Ed Bott Edith Piaf Edward Liddy electronic communications Elinor Ostrom Eliot Spitzer Elvis in Business Elvis! Emeril Employee Dementia eOnline Equity Eric Schmidt Erin Callan Euphemisms Excel Excellence Excessive Exit Packages Excuses Executive Compensation Executive Dementia Executricks Exits and Entrances Expense Accounts F. Scott Fitzgerald FAA Fables Facebook Fannie Mae Fascist Architecture Fashion Father's Day Fathers FEMA's response to hurricane Katrina Fidel Castro Financial Times Firing People Flight Attendants Ford Ford and Chrysler Foreclosures Foreign Investment Fox News Frank DiPascale Franklin D. Roosevelt Freddie Mac Free Market Capitalism Fried Chicken Frivolous lawsuits FUBAR Fungibility Future Tech G20 Summit G7 Galleries Game Theory Gas Mileage gas prices Geithner Gen-X Gen-Y Gen-Zero General Electric General Motors Genghis Khan Geoff Colvin George Soros George W. Bush George Washington Georgetown Getting a raise Global solutions Global Warming Gluten GM God Goldman Sachs Good Guys Good News in Bad Times Goodwill Goofing Off GOOG Google Google Alerts Gourmet Magazine Government Accountability Office Grammar Gray Goose Martini Greed Greedy Banks Greenware Grocery Stores H1N1 Virus Hamburgers Hank Greenberg Hans Christian Anderson Happy Trends Hardware Stores Harry Potter Harvard Business School Harvard Community Health Plan Harvard Graphics Harvey Weinstein Health Care Health Plans Heart Disease Heath Ledger Hedge Fund Managers Hedge Funds Heidi Klum Henry Clay Frick Henry Ford Henry Schleiff heparin Herb Allen Highlights for Children Hitler HMOs Holiday Cards Holiday Cheer Holiday Parties Holiday Shopping Season Home Depot Honda (HMC) Hope Horrendous Blunders Hot dogs hot nuts House Republicans How to Get A Promotion How to get a raise How to Relax Without Getting The Axe Howard Hughes Human Genome Human Misery Human Resources Hyenas IBM Ideas for Warren Buffett IHOP Illegal Firing of Attorneys General Immigration Impostors Inauguration Inc. inflation Information in the Digital Realm Information Overload Insourcing inspirational stories Insurance Companies Interest Rate Cuts International Project Managers Association Internet Outages Internet pundits Investment Advice Investment banks Investment Trends IPhone IPod IQ Iran ITT ITunes J.P. Morgan Jack Welch James B. Stewart James Gorman Jamie Dimon January 1 Japan Japanese Corporations Jargon Jeff Jarvis Jerks Jerry Levin Jerry Yang JetBlue JFK Job Interviews Joe Armstrong Joe Mama Joe Sixpack Joe the Plumber John Dvorak John Ford John Keats John Mack John Mackey John McCain John Stewart John Thain John Wayne Johnny Walker Black Johnny Walker Red Jon & Kate Josef Stalin Joseph Stiglitz Journalism JP Morgan Chase JPMorgan Chase Karl Rove Karoshi Kazaa Ken Lewis Kennedy Airport Kenneth Feinberg Kenneth Lay King Kong Kiplinger Kraft Kurasawa L-Shaped Recovery LA stuff Labor Labor Day Lame Ideas Larry Craig Larry Page Las Vegas Layoffs Lehman Bros. Leonard Cohen Leopard OS Leverage LG Lindsay Lohan LinkedIn litigation Local Business London Lord Voldemort Los Angeles Los Angeles fires Love at the Office Loyalty Lying Mac Air Macadamia Nuts MacBook Air Macbook Pro mache Machiavelli Macy's Magazines malware Managing Up maniacal Marcus Aurelius Marilyn Monroe Marketing Marketing breakthroughs Marketing In Your Face Marshall Field's Martha Stewart Marvel Comics Mass hysteria Mass Media Massive writedowns Materialism Maxim Magazine Maybach MBIA MBWA McCain McClatchey McDonald's McKinsey Mean Bosses Media media schmutz mediabistro.com Medical impact of bad management Medicare Meerkat Gang Sculpture Meeting Narcolepsy Memorial Day Mergers Merrill Lynch Michael Jackson Michael Moore Michael's Microsoft Microsoft Bing Microsoft Outlook Mike the Headless Chicken Misogyny MIT Mitch McConnell MMORPGs Mob Behavior Modest Proposals Moguls Monday Morning Monetization monetizing celebrity Monetizing the Internet money Monster.com Morgan Stanley Motivational Issues Mountain bikes MSFT Murphy Bed Mussolini MySpace Nano Technology Napster Narcissists National Boss's Day National Bureau of Economic Research NATPE Netscape new year's New Year's Resolutions New York newspapers Nigeria Nigerian 419 scam nightmares Nintendo Non-Fungibility Northwest Airlines Obama Obesity obnoxious spam Occupational Hazards Oil companies Oil prices Olestra Oliver Williamson on the road Oprah optimism Organization theory Organizational Life OS X 10.5 OS X Leopard Osama Bin Laden OSHA outsourcing Overdraft Protection Overused words Panasonic Panic Panic of 1819 Paranoia Paris Hilton parsley Paul Krugman Paulson Pay Cap Payback PCs Peeves Perks Perp walks Personal Injury Lawyers Personal Integrity Pessimists Petaluma pets Physician's Desk Reference planes Pogo Poisoned Toothpaste Politics Pontiac Ponzi Schemes Possible solutions to air travel crises Post-Bailout Letdown Post-Christmas slump Powerpoint PR Kudo of the Day prayers President for Life of Turkmenistan President Obama Pretentious Buttheads price of automobiles price of gasoline Price of Oil Pricing Private jets Product Failures Productivity Prognostications Propaganda Public Disgrace Public Relations Pundits putters Quality Question of the Day Quizzes Quote of the Day Rabbits on the golf course Rachael Ray Rampant consumerism Random Acts of Spending Reader Bulls**t Jobs Reader Crazy Bosses Reader Wisdom real estate speculation Real Estate Values Reality TV Recession Recession Skills Recovery Regulatory Policy Republicans Restricted Share Units retail Richard Fuld Richard Gere Richard Nixon Rick Wagoner Right brain function Ring Tone Abuse Risky Business ritual sacrifice RLS Robert Nardelli Robotics Rock Hard Abs Rod Blagojevich Roma Ron Perelman Root Canal Russian Vodka Salarymen Sam Zell San Francisco Santa Claus Saparmurat Niyazov 1940 -- 2006 Sarah Palin savings vs. spending Savvy investments in a down market scandals Scapegoats Scary Bosses Scary Trends Scott McClellan Search Engines SEC Second Life Second thoughts Security Analysts Self-Inflicted Injuries Self-Interest Self-Promotion Senate Republicans Sergey Brin Severance Sex sex at the office Shakespeare sharks Shoichi Nakagawa Short sellers Side Effects Silver Linings Sir Isaac Newton SkyMall Sleeping on the job Small Pleasures Snafus Snail Mail social networking Socialist solutions to capitalist problems Sony Sony Playstation 3 South Park Sovereign Wealth Funds Spandex speeches spying Stalin Stan O'Neal Stanford Stanley Bing Starbuck's Steve Ballmer Steve Jobs Steve Kroft Steve Ratner Steven Seagal Stimulus package stinky coworker Stock Market Stock Options Stock Pick of the Day Strategies Stress Stress Test Stupid Contests Stupid deals Stupid moves Stupid Surveys Sub-Prime Loans Sudoku Summer Vacation Sun Valley Super Bowl Super Tuesday Superfluous Information Surveys Swine Flu System Administrators T.M.I. Target TARP payments tax evasion Taxes technoid drivel Technology Ted Casablanca Ted Kennedy Ted Williams Television TGIF Thanksgiving The 3:10 to Yuma The Associated Press The Bing Blog The Black Crowes the blame game The Collared Peccary The Death of Retail The Dollar The Economist The economy The end of the world The Euro The Fall of Rome The Fantastic Four The Fed The Four Seasons The Four Seasons bar the Hope Bubble The House The Housing Market The Killer Quotient The Kindle The Media The Meltdown The National Mood The New York Times The New Yorker The Nobel Prize in Economics The Oscars The Rudeness Police The Senate The Silver Surfer The Stock Market The Tata The Triangle Shirtwaist Fire The Value of Money the War in Iraq the weather Things I Want You To Do Things That Are Gone Things That Don't Work Tibet Tiger Woods Time Warner Time Zone Meltdown Timothy Geithner TMZ Toasty Christmas Tales Todd Purdham Tom Peters Top Performing Stocks Toxic Assets Toyota Matrix Toyota Prius Traffic Trends Trollope Tropical Fish Truth tuna fish Turkey turnaround Twinkies Twitter UAW UBS Uncategorized Uncontrollable Urges Unemployment Unfriendly takeovers Unions United Airlines United Fruit Universal Remote University of Chicago Unnecessary spending unwelcome marketing intrusions into daily existence Urban Legends Vacation Value of the Dollar Vampire Zombies Vanity Fair Venture Capitalists VeriChip Verizon Verne Troyer Virtual Economy Wachovia Wal-Mart Wall Street Walt Kelly WaMu War in Iraq Warcraft Warren Buffet Warren Buffett Warren Spector Washington Mutual Waste Management Wealth Web Madness Weird Things We Eat Welfare Westinghouse Wetware Wharton What Your Boss Expects of You Whistling past the graveyard white collar criminals Who Is To Blame Whole Foods Wikipedia Woody Allen Work Work Life Initiative Work-related injuries Working From Home World of Warcraft www.bracketsmackdown.com XBox 360 Xmas Yahoo Yelling YouTube ZDNet Zen  Email
 Subscribe
Friday, January 9, 2009 at 10:33 am
Tags: Adult Video Convention, CES, Canon, Consumer Electronics Show, E3, LG, Las Vegas, Microsoft, Panasonic
For some reason, by the way, most of the programming on these amazing LCDs and Plasmas and other gigundo display units seemed to center around fruit, insects and fish cavorting. Plums so juicy and compelling you felt like reaching out and picking one from the screen. Tiny clownfish darting amid the coral. And sports, of course. If I didn’t know better, I would come to the conclusion that those who slaver over this hardware were interested in nothing but fruit, fish and football. Panasonic (PC) featured a booth showing a 3D movie, which was huge, filling an entire screening room. Stuff was flying out at us all over the place — helicopter blades and aircraft wings and confetti and a lot of other objects small and large. I have to admit that I might not be a candidate for genuine 3D motion pictures. I felt like the experience was resonating in a part of my brain that had yet to be accessed by other human experience so far, and didn’t appreciate the intrusion. My head hurt afterwards. It was technologically impressive beyond belief, though. One day I suppose everything will be in 3D like this, and people will have surgically altered corneas to make the clunky gray/blue glasses unnecessary. Microsoft’s (MSFT) booth was very impressive, with exploding demonstrations of its new Windows 7 platform, and the camera makers were there, too, showing off enormous ranks of digital toys with more megapixels than you can shake a memory stick at. I wanted one. Honestly, I think it’s kind of churlish of these guys. They show you all this cool stuff and they don’t give you one for free? I would have been happy to take a Canon 50D Mark II off their hands. I won’t make you guess which displays were the best attended. I will simply tell you that if you want to collect a group of men in one place and have them fight over the best seat, simply put out a gaming demo. Chairs that immerse you in a battle zone. Full body armor that responds as a second skin to protect you during an all-out space war. Steering wheels more sensitive than a stressed out CEO. The rest of the sector could go screaming down in flames, but games will rule forever. This is perhaps why the gaming convention, which is called E3, is now on the upswing, while this one is showing a little softness around the edges, like a fine cheese. There were also, as always, the inexplicable products and services that transcend the “Hey that’s awesome even though I have no idea why anybody would want or need one” category and enter the “what the frig is it?” dimension. Like, who needs a watch that is also a phone? I don’t. And how many iterations of a personal music or video player are we going to require? As far as I’m concerned, what this society needs at this point are more experiences that are social, that bring us together in large places to feel the same things, not new ways to go into our closets and pleasure ourselves on tiny screens. Speaking of which, I misinformed you. The porno convention starts Monday and is not running concurrently with this one this year. I suppose this makes it possible for the 100,000 people who are here, 90 percent of which appear to be somewhat needy men, to stay an extra couple of days to see if they can experience the ultimate social experience. I’m not sure what I think of this development, which is a change over prior years. Perhaps it explains why that number of attendees, as impressive as it is, is rumored to be down between 15 and 25% over prior installments of CES. I will say one thing. The mood here breaks down into two camps, like the rest of the country at this point. Group 1 says it’s over, the party has ended, CES will soon be no more, the sky has fallen, the good times are done, this is a permanent crimp in our shorts. Group 2 says wow, look at all this cool gear, all this great programming, this plethora of invention and desire and magnificent tropical fish dancing across screens the size of your living room, it’s a great world, our potential is limitless, we will be back. In the meantime, let’s gamble. I’m with Group 2. I’ve won more than $400 this week, incidentally, mostly at craps, and I intend to keep all of it. Which is why I’m taking off this morning for the left coast. I can’t wait to get home and fondle my cameras. Viva Las Vegas and all that, but this is more than a great place to be. It’s also a great place to get out of. Have a safe flight Mr. Bing. I hope you disinfected yourself coming out of “The Zone”..the strawberry perfume/mark worn by females in Vegas is semi-permanent. You eventually always have to get a Silkwood shower to get the smell off. Posted By David, Los Angeles CA : January 9, 2009 11:22 am
Stan, you’ve successfuly described a plethora of advisers, brokers, carneys, politicians etc., and the zoo species of the contrived world we live in. you’ve conveyed the illusion of modern tools presented to the, Since we’re engaged in illusions, my trivial “illusion” on the “big lcd screen” might be fun: Put Capital Hill and Wall Street on an ice float with lots of penguins, and push out to sea to see if they can to swim. Perhaps a rude cold awakening might get some splashes of economic activity started, and awaken them from their nice warm comfort zone. Posted By B ob Shelby Twp. Mi. : January 9, 2009 4:24 pm
So Bingster…Bing-a-ram-a-lama…the Dick Tracy LG wristwatch phone, I saw it on the CBS Morning show before I left for work the morning of opening day of CES…this dainty little reporter put it on her slight feminine little wrist, and boy did it look silly…nerd-alert gear…exquistite in its obnoxiousness…holy crap I gotta have one…but instead maybe I’ll pay the mortage this month…I have to laugh… Thanks for the posts, safe trip outa Sin City…you rock! Posted By Robbie P, Endicott NY : January 9, 2009 7:33 pm
Leaving Vegas with money in your pocket,,,,WOW,,,the chances of that happening are about the same as getting hit on the head by a metorite while wearing one black sock and one white sock. With that kinda luck, I want you to buy all my lottery tickets for me. Too bad about the porn starting on monday and you not being there to be our eyes and ears,,,,, gonna miss your graphic and insightful comments. Group 1 or Group 2…I’m a group 1 guy with Group 2 optimism, but then I lie to myself all the time. Old habits die hard. Posted By Jack Hammond Canada : January 9, 2009 9:24 pm
I have not been to Vegas in 20 years, mostly by choice. Although I have a close friend who has been married there three times in the 20 years, to different women each time. He swears it is the greatest place! Somehow I always miss his weddings, since they are never planned in advance. But that is another story. Not for this blog. On my last business trip to Las Vegas I rented a car and went to Hoover Dam, and then explored the desert. It was delightful. I also was glad to leave Las Vegas at the end of my work there. I felt like an outcast, and wondered if I was just too much of a hopeless geek, feeling that way. All this is to lead to my real point. Maybe Vegas is just too far out for most of us? Ugly by daylight. Great place to get out of. Odd in so many ways. A magnet for strange people. I’ve said it before, so please forgive me for repeating myself. Bing, you always make me think. And I appreciate that more than I can express. Posted By Bill, Laurel, MD : January 9, 2009 9:41 pm
Thanks Bing for bringing the techno action to this blog as only your words could do. Imagine porno on those 3D TVs! It would be the ultimate way to view writhing flesh. Well Group 1 and Group 2 are both right – but next year’s show will probably be held closer to the larger market with disposable income for these toys which will not be here(not here-maybe Dubai?) given current outsourcing trends and job cuts. I am reminded of how impressive Epcot’s international sampling of countries is until you see the real thing. Epcot is enlightening, staffed by natives for each country,selling authentic items in the gift shops and restuarants and by gosh, the structures look just like they are supposed to. But like Las Vegas, porn, crackberry alerts, the next qtr reduced US labor costs, there’s an instant gratification but also a regret that more mindful, authentic alternatives aren’t achieved. Glad the craps were good to you. Hope the giant crap table returns something to us all soon. Posted By Anonymous : January 10, 2009 1:17 pm
Since the forward looking camp breaks down into two moods, group one and group two, as infered by the “Consumer electronics Show”, a caveat might be in order. Economics seem to have silently switched moods from business as usual to business as unusual. The usual way is to carry all the baggage, accumulated historically, forward until the burden gets so great that it becomes too weighty for current economic dynamics. The unusual way is anybody’s guess; but, it better be good, or we’ll see more and more factories with parking lots chained shut containing jungles of weeds as habitats for wild small game. Factory assets seem to be dwindling from tools and machinery to compact discs, with information for forging silicone into high tech chips. Sudenly, we’re in a micro economic system–faded out of a macro econmic system. Posted By Bob Shelby Twp, Mi. : January 11, 2009 8:02 pm
We’ll live and die just like everything else. Doomsday has never happened to humanity because its too boring. So what, cycles this and cycles that, and que sera effing sera. One day I believe, the next day I’m an agnostic. One day everything goes to crap, the next I have the best orgasm of my life. The stock market is just in reruns right now. Maybe the dow will bottom at 4 to 6 thousand or maybe it will surge to 24 to 26 thousand. I breath and it makes me age because oxidation is the very reason we wither away and die. Que Sera se cough then cognac. Posted By Josh, Tucson, Az : January 12, 2009 2:23 am
Bing, you don’t need a drink, so have one….please. Start with a relatively inexpensive single malt like glenfiddich. Posted By Enigma, Amsterdam, Netherlands : January 12, 2009 2:27 am
Way ahead of you. Posted By Bing : January 12, 2009 10:45 am
|
Have you mastered your executricks?
Are you enjoying the perks of executive life, while working only when absolutely essential? Take this quiz to find out if you're an accomplished trickster.
 
Stanley Bing
Stanley Bing is a Fortune columnist and best-selling author of business books noted for their wisdom as well as their sharp, slightly acrid sense of humor. He is also the only writer on business and the workplace who still puts on a suit and tie and goes to do battle with the dragons that breathe fire at corporate America every day. This blog captures what remains of his brain after it has exploded in all other directions.
|
||
|
I guess the 3D television in the LG booth was the best thing I saw. It was very, very cool. I forget what programming they had on it. It might have been 3D football. It’s not enough that the 1080P HD pigskin is as clear as a marble before your very eyes, now it has to come flying at you out of the screen. If the purpose of marketing is to sell you something you never knew you needed, then this place is a marketers dream. Around the corner at the LG booth, a group of penguins was frolicking across an iceberg on a screen that was less than a millimeter thick, I think. Is that possible? Less than a millimeter? I believe so. Like, .85 of a millimeter. That’s thin. And the penguins were amazingly clear and compelling. 
There are places difficult to leave, others you wish you could live there, a few others you are indifferent when you have to return back home, I agree with Bing, Vegas, with all the glitz, fantasy, fun, “big easy-ness” it is a great place to get out of, I’m personally always glad to leave it and return back home, contrary to other places.