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Wednesday, January 14, 2009 at 9:57 am
Selling is, of course, as old as humankind itself. But the mysterious wonder that is marketing as we know it really came into its own in 20th Century America. Bodily functions that had been considered natural for millennia were suddenly shameful. Products were now required to eradicate odors, hair, imperfections in form and function. Time passed, and there was virtually no problem that could not be cured by the right thing at the right time. Today, the pharmaceutical industry works hand in hand with our doctors to invent conditions that only their drugs can treat, often over an entire lifetime of use. The engine that drives these desires and meets them defines our economy. This brings me to SkyMall. I see their catalog mostly when I fly. It is the entertainment of first and last resort for the entire airplane. As we take off, people are reading SkyMall. As we land, they are reading SkyMall. I believe this is so because takeoff and landing is the time of greatest stress for those who entrust their lives to this heavy machine that’s supposed to hang reliably at 35,000 feet. And it makes us feel good to see the amazing trove of crazy, idiotic stuff offered in the book, and find that we want it, and in that wanting we are suddenly at home, comfortable in a way we recognize as cozy, human and thoroughly American. This time, I found I wanted an amazing blender that can make three pitchers of various drinks when we’re entertaining, a dog bed that would be perfectly suited to our spaniel, and a Wonderbar towel warmer for our bathroom. Next time, I know it will be different. But I also know that I will be amazed, not so much by the profusion of choices contained therein, but by the fact that so many of these objects are completely superfluous to any credible existence, and I want them anyhow. That’s the point, isn’t it? Anybody can make you drool over something you need. Our culture has taken it to the next level. And that’s why I still believe that in the end we’re all going to be all right. If people are buying meerkat gang sculpture for their yards and living rooms, can recovery be far behind? it’s a good thing we can’t shop direct from the plane…… Posted By Insert Name Here, New Jersey : January 14, 2009 12:46 pm
Some might argue that folks buying a meerkat gang sculpture is more a sign that Apocalypse isn’t far behind… Posted By Bob, Charlotte CN : January 14, 2009 12:51 pm
Awww…the wonders of SkyMall, the flying replica of Shaper Image. I’m wondering if they have a SeaMall when you go on a cruise? I’m pretty sure they do. If you spent 5 thousand for a Princess Cruise you’ll probably fork another 100 bucks for a toothpick dispenser with a digital display counter. C’mon guys, who wants to run out of toothpicks! Posted By Charlie Los Angeles, CA : January 14, 2009 1:43 pm
Bing, you old eternal optimist, We need people like you, especially in times like these. A blender that can make three pitchers of drinks…hell boy that’s called a bucket with a stick to stir with.. When your guests come over just tell them you are going early americana, by using the bucket. Wonder bar towel warmer??? ever thought of hanging your towels over the hot air register in the bathroom… American Dream,,,more like Halucination,,,,,gotta get your wife to take that plastic away from you before you hurt youself.. Meerkat Gang…Geeez that makes as much sense as a desert Sheik having a new snowblower parked outside his tent to impress the neigbours.. Gotta go… I’m about to close a hot deal,,,,gives me the exclusive rights to sell snowblowers to all of Austriala and if I play my cards right I can get Africa too. Posted By Jack Hammond Canada : January 14, 2009 2:08 pm
AH! Those are meerkats!?! I read all the way to the end before realizing that they weren’t lemmings after all. Ironic, how we can consider the marketer a genius when all he’s doing is preying on the stupidity of others. Posted By Steve, Charleston, WV : January 14, 2009 2:12 pm
I think that we are where we are because millions of people decided that they “needed” or “need” the meerkat gang sculpture, the 4×4 SUV that never ever will touch a dirt road, the 5+ bedroom house (with 6 bathrooms) for a family of 4, the margarita blender, the daiquiri blender, the pina colada blender and the regular blender. Yesterday I stopped to put gas on my 2000 Toyota Corolla and a big Nissan SUV stopped on the pump across mine, the driver was looking everywhere inside the car, her purse, the back, etc, until she finally went to the cashier and came back, judging by the time it took the woman to pump gas I realized she was looking for dimes and pennies around, she probably put like 5 dollars on her monster SUV, it was obvious she cant afford that vehicle and I bet a dollar she does not need it that big, only in USA. Posted By Isaac,Culver City Ca : January 14, 2009 2:52 pm
Actually, with Gogo on American Airlines, you can. Posted By Bing : January 14, 2009 5:00 pm
Actually I thought they were weasles at first…a tribute to marketers everywhere…the store is expanding to everywhere you can get broadband service…I bought a very nice coaster set thru the Crackberry during a “morning glory” session in stall two at work…who woulda thought this possible 5 years ago? TMI??? Posted By Robbie P, Endicott NY : January 14, 2009 5:28 pm
Creative marketing goes way back. Remember “This way to the egress”? Posted By Jerry, Alexandria, VA : January 14, 2009 5:51 pm
You’re all fools. Don’t you know what that is? That is no mere statue of Meerkats. (Although that in and of itself would be cute enough to be put on the lawn.) That is the matrix projector, code named Bolt Hole, to extra dimensions in the time-space continuum. Posted By Ivan, Washington, DC : January 14, 2009 5:54 pm
As we entered the 20th century, women did laundry with a galvanized tub, scrub board, and in some cases, cakes of soap made from lard. Think what pms was like then? Marketing was stimulated with innovation in products that eased the burdens of life. Today, marketing stimulates burdens by creating unecessary products: plasma t.v. entertainment sets, colas, potato and corn chips, pizza, lite, gin, vodka, scotch, and ergonomicaly lacking furniture that helps promote pharmacuticls and you name it. In the fourties, when you walked into the drug store, there was a soda fountain, and a small showcase with aspirin, seltzer, antacids, etc.. The pharmacist was located in a small corner of the store with his compounds of substance. Today, as you walk into any drugstore, you’re faced with a panoramic vista of colorful products, also, the same goes for any discount store. Politicians run their campaigns on the premise: create more jobs, create more jobs, not caring about the quality of jobs created–as long as they get the prize job. The beat goes on and the beat goes on. Posted By Bob Shelby Twp. Mi. : January 14, 2009 5:59 pm
Don’t knock SkyMall. They sell some basic necessities, too. I got my electric dog polisher on SkyMall. Posted By TJ Knowles San Diego, CA : January 14, 2009 6:10 pm
“The American Way of Life” model reached a point in which no longer is sustainable, unfortunately this model was based more on credit and speculation, which led to “creativity” in the financial sector. We abused of something good and foolishly we tried to tweak it and “perfected”, boy did we screw it big time this time!! I can not believe Bush is the only one to blame, or is it possible to destroy a big country like this, that took 230 years to create, in less than 4 years??? This is a generational problem, the last great generation grew up in the 50’s, all those after, up until today, form part of a lazy, narcissist, petulant, greedy generation, we need to rescue values and go back to basics, we have complicated things too much, we have created a system so complex that no longer functions and is very difficult to manage. People in other countries have less than us and live happier than we do, are less lonely than we are, carry less personal debt than we do, live less stressed than we do,,,what is the point? what is it about it? what is the difference? Posted By Robert, Calexico, Ca. : January 14, 2009 6:18 pm
The stuff on the skymall catalog is mostly gadgets and non-essentials, most of that stuff goes to the trash within 2 to 3 years, so here we are, transforming raw materials, wasting energy, generating more trash, putting a lot more pressure on our resources creating stuff that we do not need to live, completely non-essential stuf Posted By Tomas, Carrollton, TX : January 14, 2009 6:48 pm
I don’t care if you call them meerkats…they still look like proud weasels to me… And Tomas from Carrollton TX…yep I agree with you…Capitalism does not always promote “Green” thinking…buy make market sell…there is a opprotunity cost associated with the resources involved… Posted By Robbie P NY : January 14, 2009 9:45 pm
Marketing will have reached its pinnacle when the third world has achieved sufficient per capita income to regard the purchase of a meerkat gang (for garden/lawn/sand dune/rice paddy decorative display) as a much more useful and sensible purchase than an AK47. Silly domestic consumption is, relatively speaking, not such a bad thing in a world of freakish ultra-violence. I’d rather have people spend money on ’spaniel beds’ than IED’s….and I suspect any number of dead young Marines would agree (if they were still around for the opportunity to venture an opinion). Posted By Mike, Spokane, WA : January 14, 2009 9:45 pm
The Meerkats seem to be looking up at the sky as if to say, “Is that smoke, coming out of the starboard engine?” Posted By sawyerspeaks : January 14, 2009 10:36 pm
In view of economic conditions I think I’ll hold off purchasing these resin meerkats and try to get through one more year with my pink plastic flamingoes. Ditto for my stuffed cat car window decoration now hanging on by only two suction cups, like so many of us. I have to limit my purchases to dull, practical products that I really need … like a ten-speed vacuum cleaner. Posted By Ed, Montreal : January 14, 2009 11:33 pm
Hey Bing…On behalf of my spaniel, please tell me more about that dog bed! Like the money supply let’s get it all going again…skymall all the way to Goodwill. Yes you nailed it regarding sky mall as the savior and constant companion during take offs and landings….ever faithful and capable of diverting the fear. Hee! Posted By AC Portland, OR : January 15, 2009 12:10 am
Hey, Bing, you did it! You gave us something to be thankful for. See folks, he pointed out that there is something left that the airlines do not charge for — yet. If they read this, Sky Mall will be “Available from your flight attendant for only 40. Now, buckle up.” Posted By Jim, Winston-Salem, NC : January 15, 2009 11:02 am
Bing, Sr, well thank you very much for dedicating your column to SkyMall catalog, now that the airlines know that the catalog is somewhat popular they will start charging a dollar per catalog, do not give them more ideas to nickel and dime us!!!!!! Next stop: charge one dollar to use the bathroom, an extra 50 cents for bathroom tissue, one dollar to get up from your seat and stretch your legs, 50 bucks to tour the flight deck, 10 bucks for flight attendant personalized attention, a special fee of 3 bucks if you bring your own food to the plane. Posted By Charlie, St Louis MO : January 15, 2009 1:03 pm
RE “Today, marketing stimulates burdens by creating unecessary products: plasma t.v. entertainment sets, colas, potato and corn chips, pizza, lite, gin, vodka, scotch, and ergonomicaly lacking furniture that helps promote pharmacuticls and you name it.” Bob, how dare you refer to scotch in this derogatory manner? Posted By leeroy : January 15, 2009 2:09 pm
re “Capitalism does not always promote “Green” thinking…” Sure it does, when it finally gets around to it … as evidenced by our wasteful society in the midst of being slapped up ’side the head by the invisible hand. Posted By Leeroy Jenkins : January 15, 2009 2:13 pm
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Stanley Bing
Stanley Bing is a Fortune columnist and best-selling author of business books noted for their wisdom as well as their sharp, slightly acrid sense of humor. He is also the only writer on business and the workplace who still puts on a suit and tie and goes to do battle with the dragons that breathe fire at corporate America every day. This blog captures what remains of his brain after it has exploded in all other directions.
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What is the greatest contribution of our civilization to the world? When we look back at what we’ve done as an empire, what will emerge as the truly unique thing we’ve left behind? I believe that when the sun sets on us, if it hasn’t already, our one great bequest to future generations will be the wonder that is American marketing. In it, we have developed the ability to make people desire products and services for which they have absolutely no need. With the right messaging, the proper delivery system with the correct frequency and reach, there is nothing we cannot make you want. And in the meeting of those desires, there is joy.
With respect to Chuck Berry, Buy, Buy, Stanley…Buy, Buy, Stanley be good.