The only part that wasn’t bloody was the soles of the big man’s feet
And he was cut in ’bout a hundred places And he was shot in a couple more And you better believe they sung a different kind of story
When big GOOG hit the floor.

Come on Bing, you know you have to place your bet and can’t straddle the proverbial fence in business. Pick a winner, since you aren’t at the track and can’t bet on both to show.

The synergies from co-branding point to your friends in Redmond. And the fact you have an open dialogue with them is also good sign. However, the paucity of cigars is concerning.

You should get some expensive advisers involved to help “move the ball forward”.

my god, has schmidt no decency? have you seen what he says about you bing? you lack freshness, scale and size! then he sanctimoniously states;

—“You earn. You don’t buy it with ads, you earn it and you earn it customer by customer, search by search, answer by answer.”

if he wrote best selling books, he would advertise too, sounds like he is jealous and took off the gloves. furthermore, it was unnecessary to sarcastically call you extremely small and soft.

Now, calm down, Bing. He’s ticked at the other Bing – the search engine thing. You are safe for the moment.

However, this could work for you. If you get caught or accused of anything, just say, “It wasn’t me. It was that other Bing”. Instant free pass.

Perhaps the title refers to Bing Crosby or Chandler Bing. Aside from you, those are pretty much the only others, right?

(Bing, I have sent this to that man from goog)
Dear Mr. Schmidt,

I am writing on behalf of a great man you recently maligned; Stanley Bing. I, like so many of his followers respect and adore Mr. Bing for he is a man of great knowledge, compassion, and love. Yes, love, unlike the vicious comments and attacks listed in your statements. An example of this; Bing is a man that does not just love dogs, he loves elderly ill dogs, that is how great a saint is he.

You state he lacks freshness, scale and size. Perhaps you east coasters enjoy spoiling the planet with your wasteful shower heads and bath products to get that just mown herbal scent, but we, in the west do not scrub ourselves of our humanity and we enjoy the undertones of a fine manly scent. As for scale, I can assure you that he has as much scale as any american man.

The vulgar references to size and virility are beyond the pale. He is neither micro, nor soft as anyone knows who reads between the lines of his column.

Lastly, you refer to his readers as “Users”. You state;
“they can encourage people to use Bing, probably unfairly. Lets see what the users choose.”

Well sir, we have names; Jack, Mike, Leeroy, Laurel, Mia, Paul, James T. Kirk, and the list goes on. We would never encourage unfair use of beloved Bing. No sir, we are decent folks who make just a little over 250k/year and are definitely NOT rich.

I hope you will retract this ugliness, send Mr. Bing a box of cigars and coexist in peace.

IBW you know better man business is war, and your invading the once “monopolized” area. Search…Google, meaning… google, formula…google, BING GOOGLE. I had this friend in college she used to “GOO” when she had to much to drink… if she still says it people must go “GLE” for her.

Point of order! (I once heard that in Animal House and have longed to use it ever since.)

In the Schmidt household there is only one Schmidt wearing the pants, and that would be Shirley.

When asked the reason for making a given decision; Shirley, of Crane, Poole and Schmidt, simply replied, “Cause I’m Schmidt.”

We can always put the heaviest hitter, Denny Crane, #1 on speed dial. “Undefeated, never lost, never will!”

Bing, I don’t think you’re gonna need him, but one never knows.

And Alan Shore is up and throwing in the bullpen.

To Sloop John B:

We come on the engine named Goog,
With the rest of the world, and a an Oriole named Boog.
Around the Internet we did fly.

Newly minted Bing,
Tosses hat in the ring,
Sergey or Stanley?
To whom will we sing?

So hoist up the algorithms,
Might just cause a schism,
How the net search game is played.
Sheriff Larry Page,
unlikely in a daze,
Waitin on Bing’s,
next data structure.

Dale Carnegie’s “How to win friends and influence people”: “Nobody kicks a dead dog”.

Stan, if you can wiggle your fingers and toes, you’re not dead!

On the Bing Blog, last night it was mentioned: crossing the line into sovereign territory can get you a cannon ball from El Moro!

Snipers are only effective if they connect, if they miss, nicely shoot back.

Remember the “Golden Rule”.

Bing, I like your style. I don’t who this Goog fella is, but how bout me and my associates pay him a visit? The first kneecaps’ on the house, then ya owe me. Business is business, I got overhead.

I like the GOOG.

Don’t like BING,
don’t like bingo,
don’t like bing cherries,
ummm, scratch that last one.

In any case, I don’t like something being changed without my requesting it.
That my little friend, is why I will never love BING more than the GOOG >_<

I do not like bing because it was automated for me that I should choose it over google. I do not like a product or service however helpful that takes away my choice. If I no longer have the right to choose things in my own free time, just when oh when will I stop being able to know I am American…sheesh!