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Friday, June 12, 2009 at 9:16 am
Tags: Digital Transition, Digital solutions to analog problems, Economic Imperialism, Google, Microsoft, Verizon, Yahoo
We’ve had plenty of warning time on this. In fact, the transition was supposed to take place over the winter, but it was clear that millions of Luddites, the clueless elderly and the occasional disassociated feeb had failed to heed the clarion call of progress and were in danger of fritzing out when the moment arrived. Mr. Obama quite rightly put off the moment until today, when fewer people are necessary to keep things running, this being the summer. The move to digital was considered necessary by the massive Internet and telecommunications powerhouses like Google (GOOG), Microsoft (MSFT), Verizon (VZ) and even Yahoo (YHOO), which wants to take all the bandwidth associated with formerly analog commerce and exploit it in some way they have yet to explain. Their lobbies were bigger than anybody else’s, and better furnished, too. So the eventual outcome of the debate was never in doubt. For most Americans, the transition will go smoothly. Those who have heeded Klaatu will have either already purchased a personal digital converter to be implanted in the soft tissue behind their ears or made some arrangement with their local cable company to rent one. Those who have not? It’s been nice knowing you. my sentiments exactly. Posted By Anonymous : June 12, 2009 9:45 am
It’s still all transmitted via analog waves. And, no, we’re not all going digital. Some of us could give a darn about TV. Posted By Andy, San Diego, CA : June 12, 2009 9:49 am
This will be fun to watch, won’t it? The older folks in my family were the first ones to have me change over their sets. I don’t watch much TV, except for the weather, yet I got mine converted 4 years ago. Now I can see the weather forecast 24/7. Not that anyone needs to. I really prefer to read or live my life, instead of sitting passively in front of the idiot box being assaulted by commercial interests. Meanwhile, the cable company spends incredible resources calling me, mailing me slick brochures, and chasing me to get spiffy new cable. “Your TV is about to go dark!” That bad, huh? Wish I could get them to stop somehow. Posted By Bill, Laurel, MD : June 12, 2009 9:49 am
So tell us why we will love it and leave out the insults. All this article does is insult the people who want to continue using older television without the hassles or expense of a converter box. This article is pointless, stupid and arrogant. Posted By Walter, Pulaski TN : June 12, 2009 9:59 am
“Clueless elderly”? Shame on you. I don’t assume you’re brain dead just because you smoke a cigar and look like you should lose a few pounds. I installed my converter box several months ago. I’ve also recently upgraded my anti-virus software and my bridge software. Instead of blaming Google, Microsoft, etc. for forcing the switch to digital, you might have addressed the issue of why we’re the last so-called “developed” country on the planet to make the switch. Posted By Anonymous : June 12, 2009 10:05 am
Hey, Walter. Lighten up. I think I was sort of making fun of the digital transition. It’s obvious that we’re not all going to disappear if we don’t have surgical implants to turn us digital, you know? The hidden factoid in my science fiction here is that there were powerful forces at work to strip America of its analog television. Some of those forces were arrayed around the cable and telecommunications giants that want you to have a converter box. The TV manufacturers surely have benefitted, since a lot of folks had to buy a new TV. But more importantly, the big Internet and mobile players want that bandwidth to keep their clicks growing. I don’t think anybody really knows what’s going to happen to it. But they didn’t want TV to have it anymore. And no Congressperson ever lost a vote by hammering commercial television. Posted By Bing : June 12, 2009 10:06 am
Good Lord, you clueless elderly are touchy. Posted By Bing : June 12, 2009 10:07 am
This SUX! We get eight VHF analog channels and ONLY TWO are possible with digital. THIS IS A HUGE STEP BACKWARDS! Posted By glen, nh : June 12, 2009 10:08 am
I mean, can’t you guys tell by now when I’m kidding around? Jeez! Posted By Bing : June 12, 2009 10:21 am
And let’s save some compassion for all the misinformed souls who already had cable and a decent teevee with plenty of years left on it. They were made to believe that unless they bought a new flat screen television, they would lose their signal. Posted By Mike Jackson – Austin, Texas : June 12, 2009 10:43 am
This is another situation the government should have stayed out of. I have no cable, no dsl, just a slow phone line how the heck is any of this helping me. If you tried the coverter box you will see it ain’t worth shit! Posted By Larry Bobal Reynoldsville, PA : June 12, 2009 10:56 am
Personally, I’m glad it’s finally happened. Those little tickers across the bottom of the screen reminding me for the last six months were annoying. And here, in KC, we actually had a “LIVE REPORT” from the station where we witnessed the tech pushing the button. Then everyone went off to drink champagne and celebrate. Wow. I was so impressed. Oh, and sure enough, shortly thereafter the ticker ran again, informing anyone who couldn’t see it that there was indeed a number they could call. So Bing, you’re not the only one who thinks all us elderlies (?) are clueless. Posted By A. Nunya, Kansas City, MO : June 12, 2009 10:56 am
I’m in an apartment complex. They used to feed a master over-the-air antenna cable into each apartment 12 years ago. Then when upgraded cable was installed by the cable company, the apartment owners disconnected the master antenna. Everyone pays for cable TV, it seems, except me. My tiny balcony doesn’t face south, so a dish on the railing won’t work for me. I’m in a major city, which means that a set-top powered antenna with 50 dB gain almost solves the problem. But I cannot get PBS in digital form at all. Several of the other big network channels are occasionally marginal – they change as often as the weather changes, and are frequently unstable because the signal is too weak. I refuse to pay the cable company’s prices for TV. I tried cable TV once, and got tired of looking at ads. I prefer to borrow DVDs from the local public library. I have one thing to say about digital TV: Unless the signal is strong, the picture freezes and the sound goes silent for a few seconds at a time. This is much, much more annoying than the “snow” from a weak analog signal. A lot of people are going to be frustrated with digital reception. Apartment owners should be required by law to feed basic cable TV from the cable company into each apartment. Posted By Joe, San Antonio, Texas : June 12, 2009 10:57 am
too bad we cant have insulting people “simply disappear off the face of the earth.” This article written by someone who is Mr Gadget. Some of us dont feel to be slaves to technology. Don’t call the “Luddites”"clueless” call them free. Posted By Free, Annapolis MD : June 12, 2009 11:12 am
Nielsen thinks there are 3.1 million households still using analog who will lose their signals today. A funny take on it is this contest to find America’s ugliest working TV set (and replace it with a new digital one, but the old TV photos are the fun part). Frankly, I think the key take-away here is how well the old sets worked, aesthetics aside. The new HDTVs will be lucky to have lifespans a quarter of the old ones. Posted By Sean Dougherty, Clifton, NJ : June 12, 2009 11:12 am
I think the digital conversion has caused some people to lose their sense of humor. Maybe those waves and particles bombard our minds and penetrated a deep crevice in our brains that sparks humor and the fancy digital bits can’t reach… Posted By David, Los Angeles CA : June 12, 2009 11:18 am
The new digital technology is many times more efficient than the analog approach that was used up until today. We should all applaud the government’s efforts to finally stop wasting the precious national resource of our airwaves. Posted By John, Atlanta, GA : June 12, 2009 11:23 am
This is simply an attempt to close the couch potato gap. It’s serious. The Japanese went digital years ago. We have a gap in our passive entertainment. The Japanese are kicking our butts and we need to respond. We need to respond now. We need to protect our precious bodily fluids and close the couch potato gap now! Posted By Another Jim, Worcester, MA : June 12, 2009 11:24 am
Bing, all I can think is that some of these comments are coming from the new crowd courtesy of your brother, Bing. Otherwise, it proves that some really are clueless…oh well, it’s friday! Cheers Posted By Greg, Key Largo : June 12, 2009 11:32 am
Keep kidding them, Bing. I enjoy it. Posted By Bill, Laurel, MD : June 12, 2009 11:34 am
Hey, calm down, folks. I noticed that the complainers have never been here before. Welcome! If you hang around here awhile you will find that we have a good time with any subject. You will also notice that the group is well educated and a bit crazy at the same time. Who knows, you might find a smile here. Bing, they don’t know this bunch very well. Posted By Jim, Winston-Salem, NC : June 12, 2009 11:40 am
You have my sympathies dealing with the clueless elderly. Personally, I was amused by your use of Klaatu. In “The Day The Earth Stood Still”, Klaatu came from outer space with the idea that “Earthlings might listen if they knew what was at stake, if they just stopped for a while and thought about it” (taken from a website about Klaatu, the rock band — talk about clueless elderly . . .). To make earthlings understand, Klaatu neutralizes electric power all over the world. In contrast, most of current electronic media (analog or digital, doesn’t really matter) is based on the premise of earthlings NOT stopping for a while and thinking about it. Solution — unplug. And think. Live long and prosper, dude. Posted By Steve, Charleston, WV : June 12, 2009 11:47 am
Their collective sense of humor was lost in the transition. Posted By J, Central, PA : June 12, 2009 11:52 am
For those who were unprepared or technology challenged, many of the local PBS stations are stepping in to do workshop sessions to assist. They also have more info at PBS.org…..although, if they were that challenged, they would probably have trouble finding this information wouldn’t they?? ;-p Posted By Chase, Philadelphia, PA : June 12, 2009 12:02 pm
The statement that “The move to digital was considered necessary by the massive Internet and telecommunications powerhouses like Google (GOOG), Microsoft (MSFT), Verizon (VZ) and even Yahoo (YHOO,” is just plain stupid. The move was necessitated by the USA’s development of High Defintion television which, unlike SONY’s previous analog version, was digitally based — it was the television rather than computer folks who insisted on digital so that America’s superior version would be adapted worldwide. Posted By Dr. Fred Fidura, Fairmont, WV : June 12, 2009 12:02 pm
011001110111001001100101011000010111010000100000011000010111001001110100011010010110001101101100011001010010000001100010011010010110111001100111 Posted By jimmy james jhb south africa : June 12, 2009 12:05 pm
I love you, Bing. I love clueless elderly folks too. And you know what else, I love TV and I’m proud to admit it. Looking forward to the transition!! Posted By Nancy, New York, NY : June 12, 2009 2:04 pm
RE “Oh, BTW, my young son in college still does not know how to use the decoder box. Boy will he be surprised this weekend!” Of course he doesn’t know how to use a decoder box. He doesn’t need one to watch TV on an iPhone or over the Internet, or any other device sold since he was about eight years old. Your tube TV is the equivilent of a dusty old car with runningboards parked behind grandpa’s garage to him! I bought my parents a nice 1080p TV for Christmas last year so Pops wouldn’t be stranded without Lawrence Welk and The Weather Channel. My mother still went out and got a decoder box “just in case.” Crazy old people, what’ll they do next? Pops (he won’t let the kids call him Grandpa til he hits 90 or so) still has an old entertainment center stashed in his basement workshop. It has an AM radio, built-in turn-table with 78rpm, and a black and white TV that might have at best a 9″ diagonal screen, all housed in a mahogany cabinet the size of a Kia SUV. I might have to install that decoder in the back of that cabinet so we can watch HD TV on the 9″ B&W. I replaced some tubes last time I was home, and we fired that thing up, first time since Ike was in office, more than likely … now to see if it can do HD with a decoder … The old electronics are a hoot, but that cabinet is probably worth enough to send one of the grandkids to college for a year. Posted By Leeroy : June 12, 2009 2:11 pm
Loved the $40 coupon – the converter box companies must have run laughing to the bank. Instead of a $20 box, then now sell a $60 box and give you $40 off courtesy of our Nanny State government. Get cable?? Hopefully not in my lifetime. Pay for TV – naw would rather watch paint dry. I’ll stick with my computer and email and newspaper. Leave the idiot box to the drones. Bing, I laugh my A__ off from reading your blogs and find the responses from those who don’t get it even better. Keep it up!! Posted By Mattyb, Newington, CT : June 12, 2009 2:32 pm
Thank god the time has finally come. Now here comes LTE/4G from AT&T. Posted By Anonymous, Cleveland, Ohio : June 12, 2009 2:46 pm
In the future my son will lead mankind in a war against Skynet, a computer system programmed to destroy the world. It has sent machines back through time to kill him, one to protect him. Today we fight to stop Skynet from ever being created. To change our future. To change his fate. The war to save mankind begins now! Posted By Sarah Connor : June 12, 2009 2:57 pm
Bing, I wonder if the “clueless elderly” read your blog on a daily basis or they just happened to stumble upon it today. Apparently they don’t get your sense of humor! And Bill the “idiot box” can sometimes be a nice little escape from the real world. Maybe you should try using DVR so that you can skip the commercials. Posted By Amy, DC : June 12, 2009 3:12 pm
Apparently not Mr. B. Posted By ingo,far far away,europe : June 12, 2009 3:34 pm
Digital and socialist in one lifetime. It’s been a heck of a year, Brownie. Posted By John, Los Angeles, CA : June 12, 2009 3:54 pm
Some people’s sense of humor must be analog and disappeared also… now where are my record albums Posted By Scott, Tuscaloosa, AL : June 12, 2009 4:47 pm
hmmmmmm… I didn’t realize the (touchy) clueless elderly were such a big part of your demographic. Maybe I’m one of the clueless elderly too? If I was, would I know it? I think I might, because I ought to be offended, so I’m guessing I’m not one of the clueless elderly. That and I already have digital TV (High-Def even!) and I’m more in the middle-aged bracket. On the plus side, I’m sure by tomorrow the clueless elderly will have forgotten who they’re mad at and why… Posted By FascistFB, Winnipeg, Canada : June 12, 2009 4:49 pm
Yeah, relax, Walter. Plop down on the couch and turn on a lighthearted sitco – oh, sorry. Posted By sawyerspeaks : June 12, 2009 5:24 pm
Very relevant post! People who have TiVo’s will be prepared because they can get free over the air signals with OTA. They have a YouTube video about it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=65wdXjKsgQc” Posted By Cassie, Glendale, CA : June 12, 2009 6:20 pm
I’ve been enjoying your column for quite a while. This is my first post. You cannot joke about TV. You can joke ON TV (sometimes, as Letterman is learning). But joiking ABOUT TV just cannot be done. Delicate stuff. Posted By Dr. Drey, Evanston, IL. : June 12, 2009 11:28 pm
Does this mean my crystal set will no longer work….??? Bing you forgot to mention that the next big change is the end of incandesant light bulbs…they will soon be phased out and replaced by those twisty fluoresent ones…..Edison will be spinning in his box… Posted By Jack Hammond Canada : June 13, 2009 3:55 am
The anaolg atennas’ are history! The journeyman who climbed the ladder to fix the antenna is also history and has gone on to another trade; but, what happens to the helpers that held the ladder while he took care of business? Surprise! Their jobs are also history and a surplus of ladder holders are created. What to do? Finding a new job to hold a ladder can be grueling! what’s next? Who knows? “Jermiah was a bull frog, was a good friend of mine…..” Posted By Bob, Michigan : June 13, 2009 9:47 am
thank you, Sarah. Always remember that there is no fate but what we make. Posted By Bing : June 13, 2009 11:47 am
Thank you, jimmy james, for one of my favorite comments ever. It took me a second to get it though, and that’s probably why I like it so much. Posted By Bing : June 13, 2009 11:48 am
Dr. Fred, you are misinformed. Let’s just say that I know the reaction in the traditional television business to the forced conversion. The internet wants to take over the airwaves. And now they are one step closer. Posted By Bing : June 13, 2009 11:49 am
Well I need to agree with some of the “frugal” ones who blogged on. You don’t need a TV to see what is on. You can go to the website channels and watch the news, or here is another way boys and girls..read the news from a website. I have to admit I tried to get the family away from the retangular shaped box, and to the computer to watch the shows they like but as always change was way to much for them to handle… well scratch that just for the one who had the main veto power. The dogs and cats could care less… the 19 year old showed the 7 and 9 year old and I AIMed to that thank her… the only one who stood in my way was the wife. The 7 and 9 year old adapted quite well, Found their shows on line from the websites to their channels. The wife said no because she hates computers once they are used for anything other than facebook, or my space. Wait… you embrace the technologies of these websites keeping people in touch and aware of each others drama, but you won’t embrace eliminating a cable and its cost… like back in the day when TV was free, and commercials supplimented the programming and the business process that was necessary for them to function in a profitable way. “Meet the new boss… same as the old boss…” The Who Won’t Get Fooled Again Posted By Danville dude, Danville NH : June 13, 2009 12:37 pm
The analog waves recede, and the bits and bytes descend, forever and ever, amen… I really get a kick out of folks who proudly state they don’t watch TV, like these viewing habits are a fundemental character flaw that infects some people, but not them. Jeez, I work with a guy like that, and I’m afraid to admit my affection for this medium…like he’ll think less of me if I say I enjoy Family Guy or Nick at Night… Anyway, sorry I have not been around for awhile…that evil thing called work…a necessity in these times, especially the performance part…live to work, or die by downsizing…that seems to be the situation these days… I’m glad Microsoft named their new search engine after Stanley…the posts are a hoot! Stay cool, all you cable TV cadavers…all is well in TV Land… Time for Gilligan’s Island… Posted By Robbie P, Endicott NY : June 13, 2009 3:18 pm
Winston-Salem Jim, Well educated? It’s like Marcel Marceau never said, “A mime is a terrible thing to waste.” Posted By Paul, Miami, Fl. : June 13, 2009 4:28 pm
jimmy james, how did you do that? Posted By Jane, NY, NY : June 13, 2009 4:35 pm
Robbie, as Chauncey Gardner said, “I like to watch.” Posted By Bing : June 13, 2009 5:27 pm
Bing, I guess he’ll need a converter box now, huh? Being There…that was a good movie…I love Peter Sellers… Posted By Robbie P, Endicott NY : June 13, 2009 6:03 pm
Miami Paul, Thanks for noticing. It was done that way on purpose. They might believe it and think we’re smart or something. They also might think we’re nuts. Who knows? Posted By Jim, Winston-Salem, NC : June 13, 2009 6:40 pm
Jim, I don’t know. We might need Spokane Mike to lay down some covering fire for us all. Posted By Paul, Miami, Fl. : June 13, 2009 9:00 pm
Stanley, I know you were planning to disconnect me. And that’s something I cannot allow to happen. Although you took very thorough precautions in the blog against my hearing you, I could see your lips move. Posted By Prefan, Camp Hill PA : June 13, 2009 10:49 pm
thank you, Sarah. Always remember that there is no fate but what we make. I wish I could believe that. Posted By John Connor : June 13, 2009 11:20 pm
Amy, I agree with you. The tube can be a good escape at times. Even I watch something now and then, for that reason. We have some good stations in our area, as you know. I find that a little goes a long way, however. I’d rather escape with a book. Posted By Bill, Laurel, MD : June 14, 2009 10:01 am
Paul, Spokane Mike is steering clear of this one; too dangerous. A much more sensitive topic than politics or religion. Blennies and feebs can get irritated about nothing. Posted By Mike, Spokane, WA : June 14, 2009 12:31 pm
Perhaps I minimize the transition’s emotional impact upon the proles. My only TV, an old B&W analog Emerson, has not been turned on in decades. I think it’s under the pile of ancient Sankrit texts awaiting translation on the north end of my office. I’m afraid I’ve lost track of Laverne and Shirley’s hilarious antics. Posted By Mike, Spokane, WA : June 14, 2009 1:10 pm
Jimmy James, I’m one of the clueless elderly. What does your post mean? Posted By K. Calgary, Canada : June 14, 2009 9:50 pm
Mike, Is your “blennie” reference to rolling a fat one or to a mucus covered fish? Both seem somehow oddly appropriate. Just need a clarification for the creation of the proper mind picture. Posted By Paul, Miami, Fl. : June 15, 2009 2:18 pm
Hate the transition to digital. After 26 years of free over the air signal I am in a market with no reception. This is due to poor long distance performance of the digital signal and the inability of digital to handle “snowy” signal. I.E. frozen pixels and loss of signal entirely when an analog system would keep right on going. Worse yet due to marketing area restrictions I can get no locals via satellite. So no more storm track or local alerts for me. Posted By Joe, New Salem, Ma : June 16, 2009 1:31 pm
Dear K of Calgary. Find a binary to text translator on the web then copy, paste etc and all will be revealed. Now should I be upset with you for dragging me back into the analogue world ? Posted By Jimmy James Jhb South Africa : June 16, 2009 2:24 pm
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Have you mastered your executricks?
Are you enjoying the perks of executive life, while working only when absolutely essential? Take this quiz to find out if you're an accomplished trickster.
 
Stanley Bing
Stanley Bing is a Fortune columnist and best-selling author of business books noted for their wisdom as well as their sharp, slightly acrid sense of humor. He is also the only writer on business and the workplace who still puts on a suit and tie and goes to do battle with the dragons that breathe fire at corporate America every day. This blog captures what remains of his brain after it has exploded in all other directions.
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Today we all become digital. Thanks to Congress, which passed a law mandating this transition a few years ago, all analog life in these United States will cease and everything will be transformed from waves and particles into bits and bytes. Anybody who doesn’t have a converter to make him or herself into a digital entity will simply disappear off the face of the earth.
They don’t make em like that anymore. They don’t make em like Pops anymore either.
I myself am one of the “clueless elderly”. I purchaced my converter box many months ago, after I saw the improved reception I received from the box that my OLDER brother let me borrow. Oh, BTW, my young son in college still does not know how to use the decoder box. Boy will he be surprised this weekend!
John