Galleries
Tags
AAPL Acquisitions Addiction Adult ADD Adult Video Convention Advertising Age Advertising campaigns AEG AIG Air Force One Airline Travel Alan Greenspan Alcor Life Extension Foundation Allen & Co. Amazon american airlines Analog solutions Analysts Anger Annoying Employees Anxiety AOL Apple Arjun Murti Armageddon Arnold Schwarzenegger Ashton Kutcher Ask Bing Augustus Auto Bailout Baby Boomers bad days Bad guys Bailouts Bank Failures Bank of America bank write downs bankers Barack Obama Barry Bonds Barry Diller baseball legends Batman Bear market Bear Stearns Bed Bath & Beyond beer Ben Franklin Berlusconi Bernanke Bernard Madoff Beverly Hilton Big Bad Corporations Big Fish Games Bill Clinton Bill Gates Bill O'Reilly Bing Bing Awards bing recommends Bing Videos Bing's Law bingstuff Bipolar bird entrails Black Friday BlackBerry Bloggers Bluetooth Bobby Flay body language bogus dudes Bonds Boneheads Bono Bonuses Book Stores books Boomers Booze Booze in First Class Boss's Day Bosses Boy Scouts Brand Encroachment Brand Loyalty Brazil Brian Greene British Air Britney Britney Spears Brooks Brothers BS Bubbles Bullies Bulls**t Jobs Burlington Northern Railroad Business Breakfast business dinners business ideas Business Language Business Life Business Media Business Stories of the Year business travel Business Week Buzzwords Cadbury Caesar call to action Canada Canon Capitalism Captive Marketing Carat Carbon Footprint Careers Carl Icahn CBS News/NY Times Poll Celebrity Meltdowns Cell phones CEOs CES Character Character Issue Chauncey Gardiner Cheese balls Cheese Logs cheeseburgers Cheryl Crow China Christmas cheer Chrome Chrysler Chuck Prince Citibank Citigroup Clone Monkeys Cloud computing Clubs CNBC cnnmoney Cobra Microport Comment of the day Complisults Computer geekery computers Conde Nast Confidence games Congress Conspiracies Consultants Consumer Confidence Consumer Electronics Show Consumerism conventions Corporate Apologies corporate culture Corporate Retreats Corporate Sanity cost of housing Costco Countrywide coyotes Crazy Bosses Creative Capitalism credit cards Credit Suisse crooks (alleged) cryogenics cubicles Cutbacks Dalai Lama David Beckham David Geffen Davos dead cat bounce Debt Dee Dee Myers Democrats Dennis Levine Depression Depression (emotional) Derivatives Designer Stubble Diabetes Dictator of the Week Diets digital elph Digital solutions to analog problems Digital Transition Donald Trump Dracula Drinking Drunken Excess Duke Nukem Dumbest Moments Dummies E-Mail E.U.R. E3 Earnings EBay Economic analysis Economic Imperialism Economic Meltdown Economic Stimulus Economic Trends Economics Economists Edith Piaf Edward Liddy electronic communications Elinor Ostrom Eliot Spitzer Elvis in Business Elvis! Emeril Employee Dementia eOnline Equity Eric Schmidt Erin Callan Euphemisms Excel Excellence Excessive Exit Packages Excuses Executive Compensation Executive Dementia Executricks Exits and Entrances Expense Accounts F. Scott Fitzgerald FAA Fables Facebook Fannie Mae Fascist Architecture Fashion Father's Day Fathers FEMA's response to hurricane Katrina Fidel Castro Financial Times Firing People Flight Attendants Ford Ford and Chrysler Foreclosures Foreign Investment Fox News Frank DiPascale Franklin D. Roosevelt Freddie Mac Free Market Capitalism Fried Chicken Frivolous lawsuits FUBAR Fungibility Future Tech G20 Summit G7 Galleries Game Theory Gas Mileage gas prices Geithner Gen-X Gen-Y Gen-Zero General Electric General Motors Genghis Khan Geoff Colvin George Soros George W. Bush George Washington Georgetown Getting a raise Global solutions Global Warming Gluten GM God Goldman Sachs Good Guys Good News in Bad Times Goodwill Goofing Off GOOG Google Google Alerts Gourmet Magazine Government Accountability Office Grammar Gray Goose Martini Greed Greedy Banks Greenware Grocery Stores H1N1 Virus Hamburgers Hank Greenberg Hans Christian Anderson Happy Trends Hardware Stores Harry Potter Harvard Business School Harvard Community Health Plan Harvard Graphics Harvey Weinstein Health Care Health Plans Heart Disease Heath Ledger Hedge Fund Managers Hedge Funds Heidi Klum Henry Clay Frick Henry Ford Henry Schleiff heparin Herb Allen Highlights for Children Hitler HMOs Holiday Cards Holiday Cheer Holiday Parties Holiday Shopping Season Home Depot Honda (HMC) Hope Horrendous Blunders Hot dogs hot nuts House Republicans How to Get A Promotion How to get a raise How to Relax Without Getting The Axe Howard Hughes Human Genome Human Misery Human Resources Hyenas IBM Ideas for Warren Buffett IHOP Illegal Firing of Attorneys General Immigration Impostors Inauguration Inc. inflation Information in the Digital Realm Information Overload Insourcing inspirational stories Insurance Companies Interest Rate Cuts International Project Managers Association Internet Outages Internet pundits Investment Advice Investment banks Investment Trends IPhone IPod IQ Iran ITT ITunes J.P. Morgan Jack Welch James B. Stewart James Gorman Jamie Dimon January 1 Japan Japanese Corporations Jargon Jeff Jarvis Jerks Jerry Levin Jerry Yang JetBlue JFK Job Interviews Joe Armstrong Joe Mama Joe Sixpack Joe the Plumber John Dvorak John Ford John Keats John Mack John Mackey John McCain John Stewart John Thain John Wayne Johnny Walker Black Johnny Walker Red Jon & Kate Josef Stalin Joseph Stiglitz Journalism JP Morgan Chase JPMorgan Chase Karl Rove Karoshi Kazaa Ken Lewis Kennedy Airport Kenneth Feinberg Kenneth Lay King Kong Kiplinger Kraft Kurasawa L-Shaped Recovery LA stuff Labor Labor Day Lame Ideas Larry Craig Larry Page Las Vegas Layoffs Lehman Bros. Leonard Cohen Leopard OS Leverage LG Lindsay Lohan LinkedIn litigation Local Business London Lord Voldemort Los Angeles Los Angeles fires Love at the Office Loyalty Lying Mac Air Macadamia Nuts MacBook Air Macbook Pro mache Machiavelli Macy's Magazines malware Managing Up maniacal Marcus Aurelius Marilyn Monroe Marketing Marketing breakthroughs Marketing In Your Face Marshall Field's Martha Stewart Marvel Comics Mass hysteria Mass Media Massive writedowns Materialism Maxim Magazine Maybach MBIA MBWA McCain McClatchey McDonald's McKinsey Mean Bosses Media media schmutz mediabistro.com Medical impact of bad management Medicare Meerkat Gang Sculpture Meeting Narcolepsy Memorial Day Mergers Merrill Lynch Michael Jackson Michael Moore Michael's Microsoft Microsoft Bing Microsoft Outlook Mike the Headless Chicken Misogyny MIT Mitch McConnell MMORPGs Mob Behavior Modest Proposals Moguls Monday Morning Monetization monetizing celebrity Monetizing the Internet money Monster.com Morgan Stanley Motivational Issues Mountain bikes MSFT Murphy Bed Mussolini MySpace Nano Technology Napster Narcissists National Boss's Day National Bureau of Economic Research NATPE Netscape new year's New Year's Resolutions New York Nigeria Nigerian 419 scam nightmares Nintendo Non-Fungibility Northwest Airlines Obama Obesity obnoxious spam Occupational Hazards Oil companies Oil prices Olestra Oliver Williamson on the road Oprah optimism Organization theory Organizational Life OS X 10.5 OS X Leopard Osama Bin Laden OSHA outsourcing Overdraft Protection Overused words Panasonic Panic Panic of 1819 Paranoia Paris Hilton parsley Paul Krugman Paulson Pay Cap Payback PCs Peeves Perks Perp walks Personal Injury Lawyers Personal Integrity Pessimists Petaluma pets Physician's Desk Reference planes Pogo Poisoned Toothpaste Politics Pontiac Ponzi Schemes Possible solutions to air travel crises Post-Bailout Letdown Post-Christmas slump Powerpoint PR Kudo of the Day prayers President for Life of Turkmenistan President Obama Pretentious Buttheads price of automobiles price of gasoline Price of Oil Pricing Private jets Product Failures Productivity Prognostications Propaganda Public Disgrace Public Relations Pundits putters Quality Question of the Day Quizzes Quote of the Day Rabbits on the golf course Rachael Ray Rampant consumerism Random Acts of Spending Reader Bulls**t Jobs Reader Crazy Bosses Reader Wisdom real estate speculation Real Estate Values Reality TV Recession Recession Skills Recovery Regulatory Policy Republicans Restricted Share Units retail Richard Fuld Richard Gere Richard Nixon Rick Wagoner Right brain function Ring Tone Abuse Risky Business ritual sacrifice RLS Robert Nardelli Robotics Rock Hard Abs Rod Blagojevich Roma Ron Perelman Root Canal Russian Vodka Salarymen Sam Zell San Francisco Santa Claus Saparmurat Niyazov 1940 -- 2006 Sarah Palin savings vs. spending Savvy investments in a down market scandals Scapegoats Scary Bosses Scary Trends Scott McClellan Search Engines SEC Second Life Second thoughts Security Analysts Self-Inflicted Injuries Self-Interest Self-Promotion Senate Republicans Sergey Brin Severance Sex sex at the office Shakespeare Shoichi Nakagawa Short sellers Side Effects Silver Linings Sir Isaac Newton SkyMall Sleeping on the job Small Pleasures Snafus Snail Mail social networking Socialist solutions to capitalist problems Sony Sony Playstation 3 South Park Sovereign Wealth Funds Spandex speeches spying Stalin Stan O'Neal Stanford Stanley Bing Starbuck's Steve Ballmer Steve Jobs Steve Kroft Steve Ratner Steven Seagal Stimulus package stinky coworker Stock Market Stock Options Stock Pick of the Day Strategies Stress Stress Test Stupid Contests Stupid deals Stupid moves Stupid Surveys Sub-Prime Loans Sudoku Summer Vacation Sun Valley Super Bowl Super Tuesday Superfluous Information Surveys Swine Flu System Administrators T.M.I. Target TARP payments tax evasion Taxes technoid drivel Technology Ted Casablanca Ted Kennedy Ted Williams Television TGIF Thanksgiving The 3:10 to Yuma The Associated Press The Bing Blog The Black Crowes the blame game The Collared Peccary The Death of Retail The Dollar The Economist The economy The end of the world The Euro The Fall of Rome The Fantastic Four The Fed The Four Seasons The Four Seasons bar the Hope Bubble The House The Housing Market The Killer Quotient The Kindle The Media The Meltdown The National Mood The New York Times The New Yorker The Nobel Prize in Economics The Oscars The Rudeness Police The Senate The Silver Surfer The Stock Market The Tata The Triangle Shirtwaist Fire The Value of Money the War in Iraq the weather Things I Want You To Do Things That Are Gone Things That Don't Work Tibet Time Warner Time Zone Meltdown Timothy Geithner TMZ Toasty Christmas Tales Todd Purdham Tom Peters Top Performing Stocks Toxic Assets Toyota Matrix Toyota Prius Traffic Trends Trollope Tropical Fish Truth tuna fish Turkey turnaround Twinkies Twitter UAW UBS Uncategorized Uncontrollable Urges Unemployment Unfriendly takeovers Unions United Airlines United Fruit Universal Remote University of Chicago Unnecessary spending unwelcome marketing intrusions into daily existence Urban Legends Vacation Value of the Dollar Vampire Zombies Vanity Fair Venture Capitalists VeriChip Verizon Verne Troyer Virtual Economy Wachovia Wal-Mart Wall Street Walt Kelly WaMu War in Iraq Warcraft Warren Buffet Warren Buffett Warren Spector Washington Mutual Waste Management Wealth Web Madness Weird Things We Eat Welfare Westinghouse Wetware Wharton What Your Boss Expects of You Whistling past the graveyard white collar criminals Who Is To Blame Whole Foods Wikipedia Woody Allen Work Work Life Initiative Work-related injuries Working From Home World of Warcraft www.bracketsmackdown.com XBox 360 Xmas Yahoo Yelling YouTube Zen  Email
 Subscribe
Friday, June 19, 2009 at 10:51 am
As you may have guessed from yesterday’s post, I am at this very moment trying to tear myself away from life as I know it and suspend operations for a while. True, the world will not stop while I do. Ned and Ted and Len and Edna and Clarissa and Elizabeth and Otto will still need things immediately. The Flute Reamer Division will still have those transition issues. Bob may need a speech or two. The IR department will still worry about its upcoming presentation in Bophutswana. But all that will have to go on without me, I most dearly hope. Yes, I will have my BlackBerry. I will do my best to look at it only twice a day. The rest of the time it will be in a drawer. I find this better than imagining the thousands of idiotic e-mails and perhaps 10 important ones that will be piling up during the interregnum. And yes, a few people will know where I am, my assistant Beverly being the most important. It will be up to her to figure out what’s worth bothering me for. She is aware of Bing’s Law, which, as you may remember, states that every minute of work on a vacation requires one full hour for the re-establishment of proper mental equilibrium. Thus, a ten minute conference call demands a full 10 hours of recovery time. Longer than that? You do the math. I will, of course, have my little laptop with me, so who knows. Maybe I’ll drop you a line now and then. In any event, I’ll see you all after the 4th. Don’t work too hard while I’m away, okay? have a great time, Bing – and by the time you get back, the world’s crises will all have moved on… Posted By Eric, Portland Oregon : June 19, 2009 1:05 pm
oh no, you’re going to miss the big announcement on Monday night from Jon and Kate. haven’t you just been on the edge of your seat waiting for that? (not!) Posted By Lynn, Cleveland, OH : June 19, 2009 2:08 pm
Time for your yearly vacation already. Where did time go??? Posted By Liberty : June 19, 2009 3:26 pm
Don’t worry about us. We’ll probably be alright. (but where can you be reached if that shaky Gutman deal goes south)? Posted By Mike, Spokane, WA : June 19, 2009 3:33 pm
Have fun, Bing. Don’t think about work. Come back feeling great. Should we continue to blog while you are gone? Posted By Bill, Laurel, MD : June 19, 2009 6:11 pm
Have a nice time Stanley. Posted By pal, Ont., Canada : June 19, 2009 7:06 pm
Well, Bill, I’d say yes. Why not use this little column, in which I say goodbye, to keep the spirit flowing? or choose another post that appeals to you and start something there. My blog is always open. Posted By Bing : June 19, 2009 7:21 pm
Thanks, Pal. Posted By Bing : June 19, 2009 7:23 pm
I wonder if he will miss us? Posted By Jim, Winston-Salem, NC : June 20, 2009 7:10 pm
Drinks and torpedo cigars…all of course if the Captain approves… enjoy it. Posted By A SAP, Lawrence MA : June 21, 2009 12:56 am
Bing, your generosity is touching. You really think of your fellow bloggers, and I appreciate that. You are good people. I scoured the business section of the paper today, and tried to think of something insightful, gripping, and relevant. Nada. Doggone. All I had was my own stories, which are pretty boring. The house next door is still abandoned, and the power was turned off two weeks ago. Which means the sump pump is off. That cannot be good in any sense, during the rainiest June in years. Yikes. I’m thinking “mold”. We trim the trees and bushes. It looks better than it did when they lived there. But I think of the mold and shudder. My Saturn dealer is closing as of June 30. I don’t know where I’ll go now for service. I really liked those people. I hate my wife’s Mercedes dealer. They mean well, but they just have an attitude. My job is good, for reasons I cannot fathom. My father was finished at this age, yet I’m still being ground to pulp, and paid reasonably well for the privilege. Go figure. My classmates are struggling, though. Fellow readers, we can’t let Bing down. We aren’t him, but if we have something good to share, let’s do it. Bing deserves a rest. Perhaps we can give the local story? Bing doesn’t always get that. Try to summon up some key facts that will help us all to make sense of our situation(s). Perhaps if we get together, we can fill the empty space and help Bing a little. Bing, in return, I ask a favor. Will you have a drink for me please? And for each of us? Thanks. Posted By Bill, Laurel, MD : June 21, 2009 8:05 pm
In this world so big and wide, you can run but you can’t hide. You’ll think you can make merry by parking your blackberry in a drawer of cherry, but when Bob calls and he’s in a hurry get your ass back on that blackberry! The few people who know where you are may look upon you as their shinning star, but when Bob jerks your gerkin you’d better stop lurkin and get back to workin! For proper mental equillibrium a well funded line of credit is better for you than a pill box full of librium! Vacations are fun if you can run and frolic in the sun and achieve top gun doing a blog pun! Recharge the batteries Stan. Yogi Berra says: “It ain’t over till it’s over”! Hiding in the “Canadian Mist” can be fun, too. Posted By Bob, Michigan : June 21, 2009 8:56 pm
Bing, I hope you are able to detach from the mother ship long enough to clear the fog and enjoy your vacation and family. If you get any itch to read your BB or call into the office, a nice coconut to the ol’ melon should scratch that itch. I’m sure your family is will to scratch that for you Posted By David, Los Angeles CA : June 22, 2009 11:42 am
Vacation….Geeeeez you Americans have everything…..Back in the olden days all they did was loosen your shackles a notch and put new oil on the whip….Course in todays modern society,,,,the Chinese will make everything and we will all be on permanent vacation….I think they call that unemployment… Moral of that story…if you have to get a blackberry,,,,get the one that is shaped like a fishing pole handle… Posted By Jack Hammond Canada : June 23, 2009 3:26 am
Bing! For God’s sake, don’t you realize that Madoff’s people have been trying to get hold of you for three days now!! What kind of message is the latest post on his blog this sending? http://www.bernard-madoff-scam.blogspot.com Posted By Ben Famod, Greenwich, CT : June 23, 2009 8:14 am
The Governor of South Carolina said he was going for short hiking trip to The Appalachians and ended up in Buenos Aires. I wonder where you’re going Bing? Posted By Joe The Socialist, Somewhere In America : June 24, 2009 12:16 pm
Bingster, Posted By Prefan, Camp Hill, PA : June 24, 2009 4:42 pm
It’s easy to say au revoir temporarily when seeking recompense from the trials and tribulations of last year’s sweat and going forward into the anticipated sweat labor of the coming year. Today is the 59th anniversary of the “Korean War”. At one time it was known as the forgotten war. The sons’ of a Marine Colonel, in WWII and Korea, Ted and Hal Barker, just can’t say au revoir to the KWP they started in the early nineties. In short, the project was started on behalf of their father who seemed pensive from his war experiences. Not only did they process the father’s remembrance, they’re processing the remembrances of everybody touched by that war. Sometimes an auvoir just doesn’t exist! They initiated the Korean War Project (koreanwar.org) that has captured their spirit and renders them oblivious to au revoir! See Stan, you are not alone and gifted with that indomitable spirit of dedication to the project (BOSS)! Au Revoir? Posted By Bob, Michigan : June 25, 2009 11:56 am
Bing is being missed. At least two items today on the business (economics) front that could attract Mr. Bongs sharp eye. First, is a little injection of pessimism, or perhaps caution, by W. Buffett who thinks we are not near an economic recovery. At least it is summer, so maybe the good weather will dilute this realistic pessimism. Second, Madoff’s lawyer said that 12 years in prison is sufficient punishment. He praised Bernie for “voluntarily cooperating” with authorities. In this case why focus on the carrot? If we need cooperation, perhaps there is a nice stick? Bing, your sharp intellect is certainly being missed. Posted By Dr Drey, Evanston, IL : June 25, 2009 2:27 pm
As long as you’re not “going hiking,” lol. Posted By Indiana : June 25, 2009 7:21 pm
hey bill, great idea, and thanks bing for being so concerned. i posted on the wrong post but said what bill laurel said; we can post amongst ourselves. i look forward to the responses of people i have come to know and those little personal tidbits. here’s mine; went on vacation to the mountains and had to feign admiration of the personal arsenals of many glenn beck devotees. things are very tough in some areas. now, back home, i watch my giant black bumble bees and several of their babies which live in my yard. cute hardly describes them. maybe it is just me but there seems to be two types of people developing; those who feel obama will take their guns and they are getting ready to possibly take on the government of socialists and those who blame wall street and are riding out a bad patch. have a blast and go all out bing. Posted By laurel, Santa Barbara CA : June 28, 2009 10:02 pm
Bing,,, if you can read this before your vacation is over,,,,you need to throw that black berry in the nearest dumpster and relax….the world will still be turning when you get back and all the problems that weren’t solved will still be waiting for you. Posted By Jack Hammond Canada : June 29, 2009 1:16 am
Ah, no Bing. (Sigh.) Hope he comes back full of vim and vigor. Posted By Bill, Laurel, MD : June 29, 2009 5:52 pm
Bing… I see alot of spending on the television commercials for the new search engine you are involved in… Sure are running a little agressive in some financially conservative times….??? Posted By A SAP : June 30, 2009 5:11 pm
My Boss is on vacation, Bing is on vacation, Bernie will be on “permanent vacation”! Who else is on vacation? Posted By Charlie, Los Angeles, California : July 1, 2009 6:52 pm
So let me ask a question…if Bing is on vacation, who’s hitting the magic “post” or “delete” buttons that determine the fate of our contributed comments? Does Bing have a blogmaster understudy? Posted By Robbie P, Endicott NY : July 2, 2009 11:53 am
I’ve been searching for Bing all week. What kind of engine is this? Posted By Steve, Milan, Ohio : July 2, 2009 12:15 pm
I’m beaming in now and then, Robbie. Posted By Bing : July 2, 2009 2:19 pm
Yeah, I was on a 2 day Tuesday and Wednesday this week, took my daughter to NYC to see Wicked at the Gershwin Theater…what a great show…anyway took Wed off to recover from the trip, I almost logged into work thru the VPN but it did not happen…took the dog for a walk instead. So at work today, then off 3 more days…I could get used to weeks like this! Thanks for beaming in to hit the button, Bing…we miss ya! Posted By Robbie P, Endicott NY : July 2, 2009 2:51 pm
Bing contact has been established! Posted By Bill, Laurel, MD : July 2, 2009 5:21 pm
Big hi there lynn, was thinking about your comment. i too have had the misfortune of jon and kate thoughts cross my mind. one was; thank god the jackson news has wiped them from the face of news print! hopefully they wont be back. i also wonder if organizing a bing fest where we could get together and honor the guy with a lot of laughs, drinks, mingling and some cigar smoking. i am curious about so many people on this blog. i might not always agree but most everyone seems like a good party buddy. i cant think of a good city but air fare and hotels are cheap right now. facebook might be interesting, if anyone knows how it works for things like this. i’m there by my name laurelrmoore if anyone cares. Posted By laurel, Santa Barbara CA : July 3, 2009 7:43 pm
|
Have you mastered your executricks?
Are you enjoying the perks of executive life, while working only when absolutely essential? Take this quiz to find out if you're an accomplished trickster.
 
Stanley Bing
Stanley Bing is a Fortune columnist and best-selling author of business books noted for their wisdom as well as their sharp, slightly acrid sense of humor. He is also the only writer on business and the workplace who still puts on a suit and tie and goes to do battle with the dragons that breathe fire at corporate America every day. This blog captures what remains of his brain after it has exploded in all other directions.
|
||
|
I’m really not a mean businessperson…I just play one on TV…
Have a nice vacation.