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Monday, July 13, 2009 at 11:01 am
I’m sure you have your own stories of crashes, intermittent meltdowns, inexplicable corruptions in underlying code, abrupt failures of exciting, leading-edge hardware over time. But you rarely run into a product that immediately, spectacularly, flamboyantly, doesn’t do what it was supposed to do right out of the box. You have to take your hat off to that kind of thing, really. There’s something pure about it. So yesterday morning I was in San Francisco airport. They have a very good store there called Techshowcase. It’s what you think it is. Headphones. Protective gear for IPods, IPhones, laptops. Cables up the yinyang. Nice sales people who always say, “No problem,” when you say, “Thank you.” Last year I purchased a cable/plug thang for my Macbook Pro there, so that I could keep my battery charged in flight. It looked simple. Plug the unit into the cigarette-lighter outlet in the seat. Plug the regular Mac power cable into the unit. Presto. Worked for a while. Then it didn’t. Turns out that it wasn’t the proper voltage for a Mac. Okay, they should have told me when I bought it, but I think they didn’t know either and honestly, no harm, no foul, we tried. Time to try again. This time I asked specifically: What do you have to power a Mac in flight? And there it was — the Cobra Microport. Elegant little leather carrying case. Mac compatibility promised on the packaging. Equally simple. Plug the Cobra into the seat, plug the Mac into the Cobra. What could go wrong? I got to my seat with that wonderful sense of anticipation that precedes the first use of any new piece of technology, no matter how simple. We got to 10,000 feet. The little bell went off that signals the point where electrical items can be turned on. The Captain made the announcement to that effect. I unwrapped my little Cobra Microport. How neat, I thought. A cigarette-lighter style plug. A cable. A little box with two inputs, a USB port, and a fuse. I carefully plugged the cigarette lighter plug into the provided cable. I respectfully introduced the other end of the cable into the jack on the Cobra Microport. I then plugged the unit into the DC jack in the seat. In short succession, the following things happened:
I had a car once that lost its transmission on the Mass Pike. Just dropped right out of it. Vehicle had only 6000 miles on it. That was disappointing, not to mention dangerous. I’ve had milk that was sour right out of the carton. I even had a blender that threw Margarita mix all over my kitchen once. But I’ve never had an piece of electronics quite literally explode the moment I plugged it in. Once I realized that my seat was not going melt with me in it, I have to say it was kind of funny, actually. Of course, my computer ran out somewhere over St. Louis and I had to watch the movie. Race to Witch Mountain. Not bad, especially with the sound off. This morning I begin the next phase of this interesting tale. The documentation on the Cobra Microport says I should send the object in and wait four to six weeks while they repair it. I don’t think so. I mean, we’ll just see about that. How about you? Got any similar tales to tell? If so, start your engines. That is, if they do start. These days you never know. The Motorola digital cable boxes from Comcast are the bane of my existence. I’ve never had worse luck with any other tech products in my life. Turns out Comcast tries to give you a “new” one which a fellow frustrated customer just turned in because it did not work for them. Then Comcast charges a monthly fee for it! When I was in Delray Beach I had to get 3 “new” boxes from Comcast before I got one that worked. It only took 2 in Key Largo….solid improvement. Next time I’ll just pay the $#^#%*(@ installation fee and let the tech spend 3 hours in my house while I have a beer and look out at the palm trees and water. Posted By Greg, Key Largo : July 13, 2009 12:23 pm
I used to drive a Geo Metro that would randomly turn off while waiting for traffic lights at intersections. It would then refuse to start for about 30 mins, which by that time, a tow truck would arrive and I just would drive away. It was one of those intermittent electrical problems that no one else believes, but makes you second guess your sanity. Needless to say, the dealership finally figured it out after two weeks in the shop. Who knows what can go wrong with all the technology in cars today… Posted By Stephen Park, CA : July 13, 2009 12:55 pm
That product known as American pride is also likely to fail in the market. Bullying the Swiss banks to hand over bank detail of people the US failed to govern is short of admirable. What it does do is generate blue flames that will fly out of the anger and this time the allied forces will exclude the Geitner clan. Posted By Cape Town, SA : July 13, 2009 1:42 pm
On the auto front, I one time had a truck that decided to show the fuel level increasing as I drove. The sadder part was that the dealership replaced the part three times before I finally realized they were installing it wrong. On the electronics front, I have had lots of failure, although I can’t recall anything blowing up on me. And certainly nothing has ever blown up on an airplane for me. Think I might have needed clean underwear if that had happened at my seat! Posted By JAy., Houston, TX : July 13, 2009 1:55 pm
Thanks for the invitation. A malfunctioning Video Camera led me into correspondence with the President of Canon Canada. I thoughtfully recommended the use of something other than fragile plastic for a zoom button, especially since it cost half the camera price to replace it – with no guarantee it would not pop again. I discovered ‘fragile plastic’ is not a welcome phrase in certain quarters. Never was I so bethumped with words about high quality materials. I confess I had been secretly hoping my camera would be accepted for repair on warranty even though it had expired a few weeks earlier. Although that was a failed dream I did have the privilege of exchanging several letters with the president. At least I was spared a blue flash followed by smoke. Or was I? Posted By Ed, Montreal : July 13, 2009 1:59 pm
Hey, at least your airplane HAD the place to plug in your defective adapter. Talk about technology that doesn’t work anymore. When I asked the stewardess what the deal was with the in-seat power adapters, she replied, “we don’t turn those on any more, due to cost cutting measures”….. Posted By Joe, NY NY : July 13, 2009 2:10 pm
Seems like inconveniences caused by airline cost cutting measures would be a great topic for a column. Like: they no longer give out sodas on the after-the-meal drink cart run, just coffee and water. They save money by not having to buy the sodas and fuel by not having to carry them. Won’t be long before some airline cost cutting genius calculates how much fuel could be saved by not carrying passengers! Posted By Jerry, Arlington VA : July 13, 2009 2:25 pm
No Doubt the products were made in China, China is notorious for poor quality, I once purchased a button down shirt from China I went to go wear the shirt 4 the first time and went to go button the shirt and the buttons just kept falling off the shirt. Posted By Mike Chicago,Il : July 13, 2009 2:33 pm
This might be on a tangent, but I think is somewhat on a similar line of thinking…I once rolled into a Dunkin Donuts and tried to order (you guessed it) donoughts and the kid behind the counter told me they were all out. They only had doughnut holes. I said: “this is Dunkin DOUGHNUTS, right?” Posted By T, Jville, FL : July 13, 2009 2:42 pm
Off topic, but has anyone seen my wife’s car keys? Posted By Matt in Memphis : July 13, 2009 4:04 pm
I have them, Matt. Posted By Bing : July 13, 2009 4:28 pm
OUCH..I leaned into that one for you Bing. Posted By Matt in Memphis : July 13, 2009 5:28 pm
Tom Jones has appeared at the Freedon Hill amphitheater in Sterling Heights, Michigan, over the week-end. His appearance seems to coincide with today’s blog topic—”Not Responsible”. Maybe, just maybe “he instigated everything with his signature song “I’m Not Responsible”! Posted By Bob, Michigan : July 13, 2009 5:45 pm
I have had so many good times, tearing my electronics apart, its hard to know where to begin. Just last week my mac broke and, after researching it on another computer, i tore the thing down to the mother board. You know its time to upgrade anyway. If i fix it, I have mastered the brat that has occasionally tormented me, if i don’t, its nothing but a pile of stinking ruble. That is what gets me through those moments of hopelessness when any electronic doesn’t work. I am no longer very successful at fixing things, but I look good. Carry a screw driver set, people will think you are amazing. Posted By laurel santa barbara : July 13, 2009 7:39 pm
Stephen Park, My husband had the same problem; he would drive the car, park, then it wouldn’t start up again. When I got there with a jump, the car would just start for me. About the 3rd time, my husband was so frustrated and jumped around saying he wasn’t a Moron, the car wouldn’t start! We never figured out why, we just had to wait…about 30 minutes, and then it would start again. Posted By laurel santa barbara : July 13, 2009 7:51 pm
For what it’s worth, Bing, here’s the solution to your original problem with the Mac adapter: I didn’t believe it either, but darn if it didn’t work last time I flew! Posted By Dallas, Dallas, TX : July 13, 2009 8:34 pm
I actually understood what Cape Town said in his post…a bit off topic when you are discussing defective products…but then Matts wifes car keys also stretch the limit…so what the hey…If you want to talk about defective products….did I mention I have a son who is a late bloomer….you know one of those 40 year olds who is just starting to decide what he wants to do in life…At this point in time I think he has narrowed down his choices to: starting as a CEO of a large company or becoming a Biker… I’m sure my EX WIFE will be asking me to front the money for an Armani suit or a Harley,,,which ever way he decides to go… Defective products…you guys that whine about exploding batteries and butttons falling off shirts have no idea about real life defective products….I want a DNA test for that kid…he cannot be the fruit of my loins… And people wonder why I drink sometimes…..sheeeeeeeesh. Posted By Jack Hammond Canada : July 14, 2009 1:37 am
We all encounter such incidents. This is because not all our products are tested or subject to any standards. I guess the best solution for such an issue is by putting standards that have to apply for every product. However, we have the problem of immitation and illegal manufacturing. Overall, the story was cool and funny and i can extract many facts. Well done!! Posted By Andre M. Saade, Beirut-Lebanon : July 14, 2009 2:25 am
Griffin RoadTrip. A product that worked so badly it was much worse than if it hadn’t worked at all. Its premise is easy- it’s the king of iPod FM radio adapters. Plug it into the cigarette lighter, and it has a stiff arm (adjustable) that will hold your iPod securely and conveniently. It cost $100, but then it would be much better than those $10 no-name Chinese models right? So OK, like most FM stereo transmitters, the part where it’s supposed to transmit sound from your iPod to your car stereo doesn’t actually work. Unless you like your music to sound like a far away college radio station, with hissing and interference all over the place. A new car stereo that can actually do iPod cost me $150 including installation. Posted By Nik, Thailand : July 14, 2009 5:00 am
Somewhere in a shady little room , lit only by technologies blue-green glow , Stanley Bing is being added to a no fly list. Posted By Jimmy James Jhb South Africa : July 14, 2009 7:14 am
My latest event ended this weekend. The battery in my Sony VIAO blew up – one year old. The computer would never attach to my wireless router unless I re-booted twice. There were so many unnecessary processes running – a pocket calculator was faster. I’m a computer systems administrator (retired). That Sony would drive anyone else nuts. So congratulations, Bing. You get the first message from my new HP Pavilion DV6. Posted By Jim, Winston-Salem, NC : July 14, 2009 8:27 am
Lucky you, Bing! If it was me, there’d have been a Federal Marshall waiting for me at the jetway. Posted By Silly Willy, Atlanta, GA : July 14, 2009 9:10 am
CRUISE (OUT OF) CONTROL/WASHABLE CELL PHONES I used to drive Pontiac Grand Prix that inexplicably steadily gain speed even without my foot on the gas pedal when ever I had the air conditioning on. I would turn it off and it would slow down and we would start the process again. One late night drive on a straight and empty stretch of road I just let it go to see how fast it would get. I lost my nerve when it went to the “N” for neutral part of the gear selector at the bottom of the speedometer. I have not had much luck with getting a Bluetooth to function more than a few days either. On the plus side I am still using a Motorola Razor phone that I ran through a full wash cycle about 6 months ago. I keep waiting for it to go on the fritz so I can explore the wonderful world of iphones and Blackberries. Posted By Don Fort Smith, AR : July 14, 2009 11:10 am
Ordered a “cheeseburger with nothing on it” from MacDonalds. What I got was cheese “with nothing on it”, not even a piece of meat! Posted By Sue, Omaha, Nb : July 14, 2009 1:21 pm
before you think you are some techie or mr in the know, learn how to spell products names.. it’s “iPod” and “iPhone” – not “IPhone” / “IPod” – moron. Posted By Travis in Fremont CA : July 14, 2009 5:48 pm
I love it… technology at its best. I have a 1996 Chevy Tahoe. I call it the tahoe from Hell. My wife has crash it into a tree during a snow storm, dropped the tranny two times and replaced fuel pumps, brakes. It now has 200K on it and we use it for snow travel and beach runs…ahhh to have a beater… but here is the tech thing… it was made in america and never will be produced the same ever. It is the last of the beginning of the decadent run…Did you see the new Dodge charger? SWEET and the New Camero.. NICE… Have you noticed a lack of creativity when it come to movies? Everything is a remake from 1940 on. Comic books ect… Technology… In some ways I think it makes the human race go backwards… Posted By A SAP, Lawrence MA : July 14, 2009 6:36 pm
Sorry but the sky marshall thing… The Crown Royal bottle to an ipod that was better. The best was the no fly list… But the last but not least only cheese… how would you like that cooked… PRICELESS…. Posted By A SAP, Lawrence MA : July 14, 2009 6:57 pm
Travis? Up yours. And I mean that with all due respect and affection. Posted By Bing : July 14, 2009 11:34 pm
A SAP, I disagree about one thing. Comic books still have a lot going on, if you find the right ones. Posted By Bing : July 14, 2009 11:36 pm
Travis, I think Bing really meant to correctly say as you pointed out so tactfully. iUpyours. Posted By Don Fort Smith, AR : July 15, 2009 10:02 am
Bought brand new car Friday of last week. Drove it for 24 hours. Neighbor comes by to admire car, says it smells like Engine coolant. Factory forgot to remove two plastic clips that prevent some wire clips from closing to secure Engine Coolant hoses. 37,000 dollars 92 miles on car, had to get a rental in 24 hours from purchase till car could go in Monday. Not telling you make or Model so i don’t devalue it further! Posted By Lawrence, City of Brotherly Love, PA : September 5, 2009 11:11 pm
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Stanley Bing
Stanley Bing is a Fortune columnist and best-selling author of business books noted for their wisdom as well as their sharp, slightly acrid sense of humor. He is also the only writer on business and the workplace who still puts on a suit and tie and goes to do battle with the dragons that breathe fire at corporate America every day. This blog captures what remains of his brain after it has exploded in all other directions.
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You may have noticed that as our quality of technology improves, things work less. For instance, I have an LG phone that quite stupidly has no input for a headset. Perhaps it’s not stupidity or their part or mine. Perhaps it was just optimism and irrational belief in Bluetooth. Whatever. That faith was ill-founded in this case. The Bluetooth never really worked. The phone goes from two bars to dead in a matter of minutes. I’m getting a new one this week. So it goes.
Bing,,,I know that feeling,,had the same type of experience,,,spent an hour looking for the hole to plug in my I pod,,,then I realized my Crown Royal bottle didn’t have one…which turned out to be okay cause I lost my Ipod….during a lap dance..I seached for right up until they threw me out…