To quote that great philosopher Frankie Pentangeli,

“Yeah. Why not? So I told em Michael Corleone did this! And Michael Corleone did that! But it was all just lies! I made it up cause the FBI guys made me a deal.”

“Frankie, remember when we were like the Roman Empire?”

“Yeah, Tom. We were once. Those were the good old days”

“They drew themselves a nice bath and……

“Goodbye, Frankie Five Angels.”

I hate Forbisher though… he stole my favorite pen…

I will celebrate Boss’s Day when they make an Employee Day…and don’t say that Employee Day is everyday. You know as a boss this to be untrue. Even though I do love my boss and am very grateful for his/her existence and ability to leave me alone, it would create animosity between him/her and the other bosses. They suck so bad that each of them hide in their offices…especially on “Boss’s Day”. You know what you get when you manage without values and integrity? A boss’s day card that says “Eat Poop”

Bosses are generally very lonely people, smart employees keep them that way.

Bing, I usually do not like to add items to your lists. In this case it is necessary – for the retired among us.

Things to do for Boss’s Day:

11. Thank God that you no longer have one.

You know…I completely forgot about ‘Boss’s Day’. I shall return to work Monday, exacting boss’s special vengeance!

Seriously, through the decades, as I slowly advanced through the ranks (mostly propelled by the extreme incompetence of most peers, and not any special talent….I certainly wasn’t the First Choice), I ruthlessly eliminated all boss oriented celebrations. Gone was Boss’s Day, Boss’s Birthday, and Boss’s Christmas Present. As a pup, I remember with great clarity, sub-bosses cadging widely resented contributions for various boss gifts. I resolved to never take such tainted offerings as somehow my due.

I retained ‘Administrative Assistant’s Day’ (the people that actually keep an organization afloat and yes… I learned to never call it ‘Secretary’s Day). I well remembered that there is nothing more obnoxious than people already blessed with inordinate compensation demanding special homage by subordinates. I treasure the memory of telling a subordinate manager, deprived of his normal birthday celebration, that there comes a time when an adult should not expect other people to care about your birthday….and that time occurs at age 12 (kudos to Dave Barry). He retired shortly after…good riddance.

I feel sorry for most of you….the bosses that must kiss ass by necessity, and regard it as an innate right. I can truly say that only circumstances kept me from such a sad and humiliating fate.

Methinks, Bing, that something got into your water supply or ventilation system… A Happy Boss Day? A note with “I like you very much” scratched on it?
I’d prefer to FedEx a dead rat…
My boss quit the job three month ago: hurrah! Since then my productivity had actually increased and now I feel good coming to work. And I am not getting a new boss either, as our department (but not employees) is in the process of being “transferred overseas”.
Happy No-Boss-Day!

Bing, I have to agree with Mike and Cash. This list can easily be called the Brown Nosing Bill of Rights. Which makes me wonder if you are the “boss” of people. Hmmm, a bit of a conflict there. Good Luck passing that Kool-Aid out!

Bing, I have the boss from hell. And I admit, I’ve become the employee from hell, just because that is the only language that he understands. He is coming around. He respects me for being as much of a jerk as he is. I appreciate that respect.

For his birthday, I’m going to take him out for a martini, and be a cool guy with him. We will have a lot of fun. We will laugh and bond.

And then we’ll go back to the way that it has been, because that is how he seems to like it.

Let’s forget the hugging part. I will buy YOU a martini if you ever hugged your boss. Be serious,
Bing.

Hey, you guys. Of course I was kidding. Unless you, you know, LIKE your boss. Then you could all be a little nicer. And Alfredo, of course I’m a boss. I’m also an employee. I wonder how many people who read this are both, huh?

Hallelujah, The road map to success as indicated from our illustrious leader and, blog jumkie, is empathy–knowing how the boss and his subordinates take care of business: “9 to 5, what a way to make a livin” and, Good morning corporate America, are you ready for an extreme Starbucks latte, “duh?”.

Bing, I’d give you a hug, if you were my boss

and that’s if you like her.

Michigan Bob, yes indeed, one of my key metrics to gauge my performance is the frequency of boss encounters…less is better, I’ve learned…

Bing, so who is not both a boss and employee at the same time? God and Satan?
But those two guys are always arguing about who is really in charge anyway…

Gotta Serve Somebody…

I am both a boss and an employee. I’ve tried, not always with success, to model my boss behavior after what doesn’t infuriate me as an employee. I have, at times, been amazed at bosses (who are also employees) who think of themselves as great bosses…though in reality they suck at being both bosses and employees.

Sometimes they retire, or get critically ill, and wonder why nobody cares or visits. There’s nothing to wonder about….nobody could stand them when they were a boss, and now when they’re gone nobody could care less if they DIAF.

Some of the worst I’ve worked for were the types that weren’t interested in hearing any information that might enable them to make intelligent decisions. Generally, they’re like to think of themselves as ‘big picture’ people, but in reality they are simply too lazy to process information. They like to ’shoot from the hip’, and once they’ve made a poor decision they regard it as a character flaw to ever change their mind. Of course they’ve spent years not paying any attention to the details, celebrating their ignorance and ‘dynamic’ management style.

The very worst sort are the ones uninterested in information, and when things go south they try to spread blame by denying that anybody gave them sufficient information to make a good decision….which is a real mistake with me, since I have read/write receipts on everything, detailed meeting notes, and won’t hesitate to use them (probably not a wise choice for junior employees, but I know where the skeletons are buried, and they know I know where they’re buried). That’s a hint…always acquire any leverage you can on a crappy boss. A respectful email outlining the various options and probable consequences (which a turd of boss will ignore) becomes leverage when your oracle-like powers enable you to successfully predict a bad outcome for the direction the boss obstinately championed.

As for buying boss gifts, etc….I haven’t done it in 30 years, even for the bosses I liked. I work far longer hours than they, or my subordinates, attempting to keep us all out of trouble, and if that’s not good enough they can kiss my ass. It isn’t like they have the energy and focus to become serious adversaries anyway…it’s too much work.

Bing, did you delete my last entry because your subordinates might start keeping track of goofy decisions (we all make them….the important part is how we deal with the consequences), or was it way over the top in terms of real world corporate nastiness? I’ve been told my little grinch-like heart is incapable of human forgiveness. Let me know, I can be out of here in one little ‘Who-ville’ heart-beat.

what’s wrong with the Bing blog?, there has not been any new entry in the last four days!!!! Bing! respond! are you OK?…Bing?…. are you there?….hello?..Bing?…..

Mike, your 8:59 post is a classic! During 30 years in the long sleeve white shirt world, I saw just about everything you listed.

Some may fail to appreciate your point – their fragile little boss ego can’t handle it. But deep inside, they have to admit to themselves that you do indeed have it right.

Yes, Isaac, I’m here. Sometimes I just need to stop and think a little! Jeez! There should be a new one popping up in a little while, if my editors are reading my incoming communications!

Mike, great post!