Skip to main content
Galleries Recent Posts Archives
Tags

AAPL Abuse of Executive Power Acquisitions Addiction Adult ADD Adult Video Convention Advertising Age AIG Airline Travel Alan Greenspan Allen & Co. Amazon american airlines Analog solutions Analysts Andrew Carnegie Anger Annoying Employees Anxiety AOL Apple Archimedes Arjun Murti Armageddon Arnold Schwarzenegger Ask Bing Assistants Augustus Auto Bailout Baby Boomers bad days Bad guys Bailouts Bank Failures Bank of America bank write downs bankers Banking laws Barack Obama Barry Bonds Barry Diller Batman Bear market Bear Stearns Bed Bath & Beyond Ben Franklin Bernanke Bernard Madoff Bert Fingerhut Best Buy Beverly Hilton Big Bad Corporations Big Fish Games Bill Clinton Bill Gates Bill O'Reilly Bing Bing Awards bing recommends Bing Videos Bing's Law bingstuff Bipolar BlackBerry Bloggers Bluetooth Bobby Flay body language bogus dudes Bonds Boneheads Bono Bonuses Book Stores books Boomers Booze Booze in First Class Bosses Boy Scouts Brand Encroachment Brand Loyalty Brazil Brian Greene British Air Britney Britney Spears Brooks Brothers BS Bubbles Bullies Bulls**t Jobs business dinners business ideas Business Language Business Life Business Media Business Stories of the Year business travel Buzzwords Caesar call to action Canada Canon Capitalism Captive Marketing Carat Carbon Footprint Careers Carl Icahn CBS News/NY Times Poll Celebrity Meltdowns Cell phones CEOs CES Character Character Issue Chauncey Gardiner Cheese balls Cheese Logs cheeseburgers Cheryl Crow China Christmas cheer Chrysler Chuck Prince Citibank Citigroup Clone Monkeys Cloud computing CNBC cnnmoney Comment of the day Complisults Computer geekery computers Confidence games Congress Conspiracies Consultants Consumer Confidence Consumer Electronics Show Consumerism conventions Corporate Apologies corporate culture Corporate Retreats Corporate Sanity cost of housing Costco Countrywide coyotes Crazy Bosses Creative Capitalism credit cards Credit Suisse crooks (alleged) cubicles Cutbacks Dalai Lama David Beckham David Geffen Davos dead cat bounce Debt Dee Dee Myers Democrats Dennis Levine Depression Depression (emotional) Derivatives Designer Stubble Diabetes Dictator of the Week Diets digital elph Digital solutions to analog problems Digital Transition Dracula Drinking Drunken Excess Duke Nukem Dumbest Moments Dummies E-Mail E.U.R. E3 EBay Economic analysis Economic Imperialism Economic Meltdown Economic Stimulus Economic Trends Economics Economists Edith Piaf Edward Liddy electronic communications Eliot Spitzer Elvis in Business Elvis! Emeril Employee Dementia eOnline Equity Eric Schmidt Erin Callan Euphemisms Excel Excellence Excessive Exit Packages Excuses Executive Compensation Executive Dementia Executricks Exits and Entrances F. Scott Fitzgerald Fables Facebook Fannie Mae Fascist Architecture Fashion Father's Day Fathers FEMA's response to hurricane Katrina Fidel Castro Financial Times Firing People Flight Attendants Ford Ford and Chrysler Foreign Investment Fox News Franklin D. Roosevelt Freddie Mac Free Market Capitalism Fried Chicken Frivolous lawsuits FUBAR Fungibility G20 Summit G7 Galleries Game Theory Gas Mileage gas prices Geithner Gen-X Gen-Y Gen-Zero General Electric General Motors Genghis Khan Geoff Colvin George Soros George W. Bush George Washington Georgetown Getting a raise Global solutions Global Warming Gluten GM God Goldman Sachs Good Guys Good News in Bad Times Goodwill Goofing Off Google Google Alerts Government Accountability Office Grammar Gray Goose Martini Greed Greedy Banks Greenware Grocery Stores Hamburgers Hank Greenberg Hans Christian Anderson Happy Trends Hardware Stores Harry Potter Harvard Business School Harvard Community Health Plan Harvard Graphics Harvey Weinstein Health Care Health Plans Heart Disease Heath Ledger Hedge Fund Managers Hedge Funds Heidi Klum Henry Clay Frick Henry Ford Henry Schleiff heparin Herb Allen Highlights for Children Hitler HMOs Holiday Cards Holiday Cheer Holiday Parties Holiday Shopping Season Home Depot Honda (HMC) Hope Horrendous Blunders Hot dogs hot nuts House Republicans How to Get A Promotion Howard Hughes Human Genome Human Misery Human Resources Hyenas IBM Ideas for Warren Buffett IHOP Illegal Firing of Attorneys General Immigration Impostors Inauguration Inc. inflation Information in the Digital Realm Information Overload Insourcing inspirational stories Insurance Companies Interest Rate Cuts International Project Managers Association Investment Advice Investment banks Investment Trends IPhone IPod IQ Iran ITT ITunes J.P. Morgan Jack Welch Jamie Dimon January 1 Japan Japanese Corporations Jargon Jerks Jerry Levin Jerry Yang JetBlue JFK Job Interviews Joe Armstrong Joe Mama Joe Sixpack Joe the Plumber John Dvorak John Ford John Keats John Mackey John McCain John Stewart John Thain John Wayne Johnny Walker Black Johnny Walker Red Jon & Kate Josef Stalin Journalism JP Morgan Chase JPMorgan Chase Karl Rove Karoshi Kazaa Ken Lewis Kenneth Lay King Kong Kiplinger Kurasawa LA stuff Labor Day Lame Ideas Larry Craig Larry Page Las Vegas Layoffs Lehman Bros. Leonard Cohen Leopard OS Leverage LG Lindsay Lohan LinkedIn litigation Local Business London Lord Voldemort Los Angeles Love at the Office Loyalty Lying Mac Air Macadamia Nuts MacBook Air Macbook Pro mache Machiavelli Macy's malware Managing Up maniacal Marcus Aurelius Marilyn Monroe Marketing Marketing breakthroughs Marketing In Your Face Marshall Field's Martha Stewart Marvel Comics Mass hysteria Mass Media Massive writedowns Materialism Maxim Magazine Maybach MBIA MBWA McCain McClatchey McDonald's McKinsey Mean Bosses Media mediabistro.com Medical impact of bad management Medicare Meerkat Gang Sculpture Meeting Narcolepsy Memorial Day Mergers Merrill Lynch Michael's Microsoft Microsoft Bing Microsoft Outlook Mike the Headless Chicken Misogyny MIT Mitch McConnell MMORPGs Mob Behavior Modest Proposals Moguls Monday Morning Monetization monetizing celebrity Monetizing the Internet Monster.com Motivational Issues Mountain bikes Murphy Bed Mussolini MySpace Nano Technology Napster Narcissists National Boss's Day National Bureau of Economic Research NATPE Netscape new year's New Year's Resolutions New York Nigeria Nigerian 419 scam nightmares Nintendo Non-Fungibility Obama Obesity obnoxious spam Occupational Hazards Oil prices Olestra on the road Oprah optimism Organization theory Organizational Life OS X 10.5 OS X Leopard Osama Bin Laden OSHA outsourcing Overused words Panasonic Panic Panic of 1819 Paranoia Paris Hilton parsley Paul Krugman Paulson Pay Cap Payback PCs Peeves Perp walks Personal Injury Lawyers Personal Integrity Pessimists Petaluma pets Physician's Desk Reference planes Pogo Poisoned Toothpaste Politics Pontiac Ponzi Schemes Possible solutions to air travel crises Post-Bailout Letdown Post-Christmas slump Powerpoint PR Kudo of the Day prayers President for Life of Turkmenistan President Obama Pretentious Buttheads price of automobiles price of gasoline Price of Oil Pricing Productivity Prognostications Propaganda Public Disgrace Public Relations Pundits putters Quality Question of the Day Quizzes Quote of the Day Rabbits on the golf course Rachael Ray Rampant consumerism Random Acts of Spending Reader Bulls**t Jobs Reader Crazy Bosses Reader Wisdom real estate speculation Real Estate Values Reality TV Recession Recession Skills Recovery Regulatory Policy Republicans Restricted Share Units retail Richard Fuld Richard Gere Richard Nixon Rick Wagoner Right brain function Ring Tone Abuse ritual sacrifice RLS Robert Nardelli Robotics Rock Hard Abs Rod Blagojevich Roma Ron Perelman Root Canal Russian Vodka Salarymen Sam Zell San Francisco Santa Claus Saparmurat Niyazov 1940 -- 2006 savings vs. spending Savvy investments in a down market scandals Scapegoats Scary Bosses Scary Trends Scott McClellan Search Engines SEC Second Life Second thoughts Security Analysts Self-Inflicted Injuries Self-Interest Self-Promotion Senate Republicans Sergey Brin Severance Sex Shakespeare Shoichi Nakagawa Short sellers Side Effects Silver Linings Sir Isaac Newton SkyMall Small Pleasures Snafus Snail Mail social networking Socialist solutions to capitalist problems Sony Sony Playstation 3 South Park Sovereign Wealth Funds Spandex speeches spying Stalin Stan O'Neal Stanford Stanley Bing Starbuck's Steve Ballmer Steve Jobs Steve Kroft Steve Ratner Steven Seagal Stimulus package stinky coworker Stock Market Stock Options Stock Pick of the Day Strategies Stress Stress Test Stupid Contests Stupid deals Stupid moves Stupid Surveys Sub-Prime Loans Sudoku Summer Vacation Sun Valley Super Bowl Super Tuesday Superfluous Information Surveys Swine Flu System Administrators T.M.I. Target tax evasion Taxes technoid drivel Ted Casablanca TGIF Thanksgiving The 3:10 to Yuma The Associated Press The Black Crowes the blame game The Collared Peccary The Death of Retail The Dollar The Economist The economy The end of the world The Euro The Fall of Rome The Fantastic Four The Fed The Four Seasons The Four Seasons bar the Hope Bubble The Housing Market The Killer Quotient The Kindle The Media The Meltdown The National Mood The New York Times The Oscars The Rudeness Police The Silver Surfer The Stock Market The Tata The Triangle Shirtwaist Fire The Value of Money the War in Iraq the weather Things I Want You To Do Things That Are Gone Tibet Time Warner Time Zone Meltdown Timothy Geithner TMZ Toasty Christmas Tales Todd Purdham Tom Peters Top Performing Stocks Toxic Assets Toyota Matrix Toyota Prius Traffic Trends Trollope Tropical Fish Truth tuna fish Turkey turnaround Twinkies Twitter UAW UBS Uncategorized Uncontrollable Urges Unemployment Unfriendly takeovers Unions United Airlines United Fruit Unnecessary spending unwelcome marketing intrusions into daily existence Urban Legends Vacation Value of the Dollar Vampire Zombies Vanity Fair Venture Capitalists Verizon Verne Troyer Virtual Economy Wachovia Wal-Mart Wall Street Walt Kelly WaMu War in Iraq Warcraft Warren Buffet Warren Buffett Warren Spector Washington Mutual Waste Management Wealth Web Madness Weird Things We Eat Welfare Westinghouse Wetware Wharton What Your Boss Expects of You Whistling past the graveyard Who Is To Blame Whole Foods Wikipedia Woody Allen Work Life Initiative Work-related injuries Working From Home www.bracketsmackdown.com XBox 360 Yahoo YouTube Zen

comment Email     comment Subscribe

polar.jpgI’m an upbeat person, really I am. I mean, sometimes I hide behind a mask of skepticism, even cynicism when I have nothing intelligent to offer. But most of the time you’ll see me strolling in a snappy, optimistic manner down the streets and hallways of life, a smile on my lips, a whistle in my heart, or vice versa.

But lately? I don’t know. This year isn’t wrapping up very well. In fact, I’ll be honest with you. I’m scared. I feel like I’m in one of those video games I used to play when I was on a PC platform, the kind in which you have to run very fast over a lake of fire to get to a safe zone on the other side. In my mind, that area of relative comfort has a banner over it that says 2008.  Everything else before that is just, well… fire and brimstone.

Do I need to elucidate? Okay.

First, there’s the debt crisis. We haven’t seen the end of it. Yesterday, as his company declared an $8-$11 billion writedown, Charles Prince exited his job at the top of Citigroup (C), only the most recent, and certainly not the last of the big ticket dudes whose future resides mostly on a lovely beach somewhere. If mild, entitled boredom was a serious ailment, I’d be worried about them.

But these mega-billion writedowns are just the beginning, I think. What happens when all those people default on their loans and the financial institutions that issued them are now the proud owners of a pile of devalued real estate they can’t unload? No. There will be more writedowns, I think. And the stock market will get the willies. And boom, there go our 401K’s. And our stock portfolios. And the value of our homes. And…

Oil is going to reach $100 a barrel real soon. That means… well, you know what that means. It’s good news for Brazil, apparently, because it’s invested heavily in biofuels and is energy self-sufficient. But we’re not. Of course, they’re busy hacking down the rain forest, which is their prerogative, because they own it, right?

That’s certainly not going to help the situation with global warming, which is coming up the ramp into the global arena like a monster truck. A friend of mine took a cruise to Alaska recently. They have glaciers there, you know. He remarked on their loveliness to the Captain of the vessel, who was staring looking out over the water with firm resolve, as men of his station are required to do.

“Yeah,” said the Captian. “Where we are right now? Used to be glacier.” My friend inquired where, you know, the glacier proper was at this time. “About a mile ahead of us,” said the Captain. “And it’s receding fast.”

And the dollar? Forget about it. We are now a tourist destination for the rest of the world, the way Italy and France used to be when their currencies made any American traveler rich by local comparisons. I’m thinking of sinking all my money into Euros. They’re prettier, too. The thing is? I’m paid in dollars. My savings? They’re in dollars…. which are able to buy fewer and fewer Euros. So there’s that.

These are just the tip of the ever-shrinking iceberg, of course. Can you think of any other looming disasters? Lob them in. I’m eager to hear them.

Or maybe I’m full of it. It’s been known to happen. Maybe the debt crisis is over! Maybe George W. Bush and his sniveling toadies in the pseudo-scientific community are right and there IS no global warming! Maybe the dollar is zooming on back! Maybe 2008 will be the best year ever!

What do you think?  I mean… really.


Have you mastered your executricks?
Are you enjoying the perks of executive life, while working only when absolutely essential? Take this quiz to find out if you're an accomplished trickster.
Stanley Bing
Stanley Bing is a Fortune columnist and best-selling author of business books noted for their wisdom as well as their sharp, slightly acrid sense of humor. He is also the only writer on business and the workplace who still puts on a suit and tie and goes to do battle with the dragons that breathe fire at corporate America every day. This blog captures what remains of his brain after it has exploded in all other directions.