Inflation in China is very high. It’s hard to figure how that will benefit us, but on a list of things that come under the rubric “grim satisfaction,” the continual travails of that sleeping giant always register. Bad air. Bad water. Poison in the children’s toothpaste they export. Dead dogs worldwide due to crud in the pet food they offer the world. The explosion of their chief internet provider built almost wholly on illegally purloined music from American labels… so while more rain on their parade is not really good news — particularly since it probably just hurts innocent civilians over there, it’s a laugh riot compared to the rest of the crop this morning. 

Credit Suisse, which today fired a bunch of their traders who misplayed some aspect of the mortgage crisis or other, leading to a modest, single-digit billion problem that will have to be managed this quarter. That’s sort of good news for UBS, which looked really deficient recently when it took a nearly $15-billion writedown. Perhaps they’re high-fiving each other over there.

Wal-Mart beat the Street’s expectations. Of course, at the same time they cautioned that ‘08 might not be the engine for growth that people might want it to be. Earnings came in at $1.04 per share for the fourth quarter and their stock lost four cents. Yeah, yeah, it’s rational.

The head of MBIA is out, replaced with a guy who thought he had retired. That’s always a good sign, except for the fact that people who come out of retirement are generally not as adept at bailout out the rowboat as they used to be. Still, a change will do them good, right? Or the illusion of change, which in our world is almost the same thing.

Let’s see… we’re getting down to some pretty slim pickins for those looking for a lift. Most people are not prepared for retirement, according to one study. That’s not good, especially for Gen-Xers looking to take over anytime soon. Even that new head of MBIA is 59. Where’s the new blood? Oh, I remember. In charge of risk management at the banks. Perhaps the world news offers more hope for the terminally optimistic?

Heidi Klum has offered to let Britney live in her house for a while, to help the ailing victim of celebrity back on her feet. That’s nice.

Bono was seen holding hands with Penelope Cruz in San Tropez. That’s like finding out that Al Gore drives a Cadillac Escalade.

And Castro resigned. That’s got to be good for somebody.

As we used to say, without irony: Have a nice day, everybody.

1. My first thought when I woke this morning was…

a. “I can’t wait to get to the office.”
b. “I wonder what’s going on with my bond insurer.”
c. “Two more weeks for Britney, huh?”
d. “Whazzat.”

2. I’m really looking forward to…

a. Super Tuesday
b. The next rate cut
c. More news about Britney
d. My muffin

3. I think the Microsoft-Yahoo deal is…

a. Good for America
b. Bad for Google
c. Very unsettling
d. All of the above

4. I think Google’s attempts to torpedo that deal are…

a. Good for America
b. Bad for Microsoft
c. Unsettling
d. All of the above

5. I believe we are being best informed about…

a. Our political process
b. Our economic system
c. The battle between Sam and Adnan for Britney’s soul
d. Cheese

6. I am afraid of…

a. John Malone
b. Barry Diller
c. News about John Malone and Barry Diller
d. My next haircut

7. My goals for this week are…

a. To get out and vote!
b. To go short on hydrocarbons
c. To eat less gluten
d. To make other people do my work for me

8. By the end of the day, I hope to finish…

a. The blogs on the upcoming primaries
b. My analysis of global market conditions
c. A nice sandwich
d. This quiz

Score yourself 1 point for every a), 2 points for every b), 3 points for every c) and absolutely no points for d). I feel sorry for all you D people people. You’re obviously not aware of politics, economics or the news about Britney. Come on. Get with it.